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curious - 1/11/2009 8:12:42 PM

polycouple100

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline

my wife and I and are seeking a poly live in we have sent out a lot of invitations to members here to at least engage in discussion about the idea. with little response is the idea of poly that far off base as to not attract any takers..

what are the views of some of the submissives here on poly

Post #: 1

RE: curious - 1/11/2009 8:15:08 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Could it be you're emailing people who're not interested in talking about poly with you, IE have no mention of it in their profiles or on their likes or dislikes.

Could be that they read it but will reply days later.

Could be you're coming off trolly, or that they don't want poly with a married couple.

Or it could be just flat out ignoring you cause they don't care to reply.

Anything is possible

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 2

RE: curious - 1/11/2009 8:20:15 PM

mikierotten

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I am very interested in exploring that world. I would love to be a slave in a poly house hold, however not too many exist out here in San Francisco. Where are You guys located?

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 3

RE: curious - 1/11/2009 8:24:25 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

YHMA gave you a number of excellent possible whys. Mass mailing people is usually picked up on quickly by the recipients. Form letters tend to be obvious. Many here, whether looking for poly or not, tend to respond very negatively to mass form letters. They prefer someone take the time to contact them after seeing possible mutual interests and getting to know them as an individual and person rather than an identity or orientation. It is downright insulting to some to get mass mailings/form letters and they will either delete it and forget it or blast the sender and then delete, forget and possibly block from future contact. That may be what the problem you're having is. Do you want a person/individual or just any sub or slave you can get? What you want tends to show to those you contact and if it comes off as mentioned, there's likely why.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 4

RE: curious - 1/11/2009 8:43:22 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

If you are looking for the female bi submissive who is willing to take a back seat to the primary relationship....you are searching for a rare gem. There are quite a few female submissives willing to consider a poly relationship IF they are the Alpha submissive....and many fewer willing to consider poly as a Beta.

My advice is to enjoy the relationship you have. Keep looking for that third. If you find her you can celebrate. If you don't find her, then you still have a wonderful relationship.

I also agree with what Sarijane has already been written about form letters. It is easy to spot a letter that can be written to any submissive. I get them regularly and they are discussed regularly in the forums. Taking the time to write a personal note (as in mentioning something in their profile that attracted you) to a submissive takes a few minutes, but might well be worth the time spent. You also might broaden your search to munches and events rather than relying on the internet for contact. Let's face it, there are a few success stories from people who have met online, however, you have to wade through hundreds if not thousands of false leads from people who really aren't poly or men pretending to be female. One great thing about attending events is that one can network.

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 5

RE: curious - 1/11/2009 8:51:19 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

In addition to everything stated above, the women I've talked to on cm (your profile indicates you want a woman) get lots of cmails a day. Like twenty or so, most from strangers who haven't bothered to read their profile.

You are targeting women in their 20s to serve a 42 year old man. Even though your wife is a bi sub woman, you do not mention anything about her relationship with the woman you seek. Your profile seems to be written to newbies to the lifestyle - how many newbies will want to enter a poly relationship?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 6

RE: curious - 1/11/2009 9:17:38 PM

ALAstella

Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline

You also brook the subject of 'fake ass people' in your profile. This comes off as negative and judgmental.

Also, what's really in it for them? Just a structured loving home with lots of play and rules? What if they're already living in a structured home? You get to share a 42 year old dom with another female for play and rules? Is that all?

You know, life isn't all about 'play and rules'.

And most women I know in their 20's have their sights set higher than just being a play thing for a couple.

Just sayin..

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 7

RE: curious - 1/11/2009 9:33:14 PM

ExKat

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline

Poly couples, in my experience, tend to come off as inherently shady. And I'm part of a seeking, poly couple. Finding the right girl is going to take a loooong time...if you aren't going to take the time to write detailed, personalized first e-mails, you might as well just stop looking.

If you're sending out "chat invites", you'll probably get even fewer takers...if you can't take the time to write an interesting first e-mail, why would they want to chat with you?

You've got to realize that you essentially are working from a disadvantage. You're probably not going to have luck making a bunch of demands on these girls, because if they wanted, they'd have a dozen couples lined up to treat them well, give them a place to stay, and accept that they're who they say they are without demanding webcam on the very first conversation. You are not in demand. What you have is nothing special. You need to realize that, at first, the submissive women are really kind've the ones "in charge"...they're a valued commodity. you are not.

I suggest that you start by taking the time to proof-read and spell-check your profile. Stop raving about FAKE SUBMISSIVES EVERYWHERE OMG.Talk a little bit more about yourselves. It seems like you have some pretty good stuff in there, it just needs a little polishing. Stop expecting female subs to do all the work. 40% of people on this site are seeking a single, fit, attractive female submissive (the rest are seeking single, fit, dominant females). If you get a girl, you're going to have to work for her.

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to ALAstella)

Post #: 8

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 3:46:35 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Damn few women want to be the third, the one to sleep alone. The one to get all the scut work while the alpha gets all the fun. You might do better considering a male sub who would be service oriented and get topped by her.

You had better have planned out how you will meet her needs if you expect any serious conversations on this.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ExKat)

Post #: 9

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 4:42:02 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i get invites from poly couples - and i delete without reading because (a) i'm not bi ...not even curious about being bi, (b) i don't play well if i have to share the man with his wife, (c) i enjoy being #1 in the relationship ...conceited, i know, but being #2 sucks (in my opinion) and (d) not wired for a poly

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 10

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 4:45:19 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

People aren't fake just because they choose not play second fiddle.

It is just like any other man looking for girl, girl looking for man, if people aren't interested ...they just aren't.

Move on like the rest of the people who have searched years to find their perfect mate.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 5:54:57 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

I always say, start with your profile, it may have something perceived as too limiting, too intimidating or too good to be true.

Then look at what you write to others

What you ask isn't impossible but does take time. I mean you just joined here, what 3 weeks ago?

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 12

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 6:22:02 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Well, if you do a search usinng F submissives 21-31 in OK who are looking for a poly household only 7 profiles show up.

When you do a search are you looking for those who are actively seeking a poly household?

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 13

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 7:46:30 AM

polycouple100

Posts: 3
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline

Well I asked and I got a lot of useful information hear,I don't send form letters I read every profile...I didn't even consider that I might look like a troll (that one kinda slapped me in the face) also didn't see myself as raving about fake submissives, but i see how it can be taken that way

and yes my profile does sound limiting to a potential third.....

than all of you for your imput

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 14

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 7:53:09 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

poly isn't something this slave has ever been interested in or sought out.

that being said, it is still something this slave would be willing to participate in, if that is what Master desired.

this slave can only imagine what the challenges/rewards would be, as she has no actual experience with it.

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 15

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 10:06:39 AM

parakeet89

Posts: 94
Joined: 12/8/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: polycouple100
...I didn't even consider that I might look like a troll (that one kinda slapped me in the face)

Hey, this isn't related to the thread, but I just wanted to point out that Yourhand didn't mean that you look like a troll. She was referring to the "Internet troll" phenomenon.

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 16

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 10:19:44 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I only speak from my own experience and the other subs i know. They like myself do not want to share. Many (not all) subs want their Master all to themselves. Good luck finding what you are seeking.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 17

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 10:26:43 AM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: polycouple100

Well I asked and I got a lot of useful information hear,I don't send form letters I read every profile...I didn't even consider that I might look like a troll (that one kinda slapped me in the face) also didn't see myself as raving about fake submissives, but i see how it can be taken that way

and yes my profile does sound limiting to a potential third.....

than all of you for your imput

Outside of the one negative comment about fakes, I didn't think your profile was bad at all. It's actually pretty warm and inviting, and you give the impression that you're offering someone a whole relationship and a life with the two of you. Lots of couples are just looking for a "toy" and someone willing to take a backseat, but you seem like you have something more substantial in mind, which already puts you way ahead of a lot of other poly couples. I would suggest trying to be happy as you are in the meantime, and viewing the possibility of finding another girl as the icing on the cake rather than the priority. Hopefully in time you'll find the right match.

(in reply to polycouple100)

Post #: 18

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 10:32:54 AM

MasterSim

Posts: 10
Joined: 5/26/2006
Status: offline

Submission is a state of existence that one is born into the world with as part of his/her genetic marker. Many are curious as to life of the submissive and thus seek to explore their world. However as it is not truly whom they are they can neither grasp the true meaning of being a submissive, nor can they live as a submissive. Each day presents new challenges. Masters/Misstressess, Doms/Dommes are all different with different expectations of their submissives/slaves. There are many that do understand and realize that D/s is still a relationsip that is forged between the two and therefore love does exist. There are many that understands that a Master's needs can be overbearing, can be demanding, too demanding for one submissive/slave to meet and thus the realm of Poly comes into play. It does mean that you face new daily challenges as one must strive to co-exist with her sister submissive/slave in order to be found pleasing by the Master.As it is human nature to want to own something as belonging to oneself it is hard there to share a Master but yet when one learns to do so then one has learned to open ones mind to the deeper meaning of being a servant.
Yes, there are many fakes within the world of Darkness, and i use that term because bdsm has existed since the dawning of time but yet has always been denied it's place in the light. So we have learned to co-exist with the so call vanilla world, we work within it and we live within, but yet we have the live also within a world of our chosing as that is where we are most comfortable and most happy.

Master Sim

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 19

RE: curious - 1/12/2009 10:34:41 AM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSim
Submission is a state of existence that one is born into the world with as part of his/her genetic marker.

Really

? I thought I could blame it all on my childhood experiences.

_____________________________

(in reply to MasterSim)

Post #: 20

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