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RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 11:07:49 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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No. If we somehow don't work out, which is unlikely after six years. Or if either of us die, which is more likely in our mid to late 50's, I would not enter another such relationship.

In my entire life, he is the only man I have ever trusted and respected this much. The only one I am safe to turn over control to, knowing he thinks before he acts and always has in the forefront of his mind what is best for those under his protection. Since it took me almost 50 years to find him, I doubt I could duplicate this miracle.

I might get involved in a friendship with benefits down the road, that I can see. But live with someone else? Turn over control to someone else? Highly unlikely.

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Post #: 21

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 11:55:36 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
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To me, relationships are like the lottery. You can't win if you don't play.

No one knows the future, but I cannot imagine my life without Him. But if something were to happen that would change that, I guess it would depend on a lot of things as to whether or not I'd be open to another relationship.

However, I do have a backup plan and that is to become the scary lady with a bunch of cats and dogs, who wears big funny hats and grows flowers, veggies and herbs..... hell, I may do that anyway, just with Him..., but I do think it's a good plan.

Seriously though, I see so many lonely people just looking for someone to feel that connectedness with, and I know how blessed my love and I are to have found each other.

I always encourage friends to never give up hope. You never know what's waiting on the other side of the door, but ya gotta open it to find out.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 22

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 11:55:50 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I've had some peak relationships, but I have been alone most of my life. I still keep looking, but I expect to be alone forever. If a miracle happens, it does. I think it's important to not try and "replace" the prior relationship, since nothing will replicate it.

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Post #: 23

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 1:00:13 PM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
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Absolutely...after taking some time for myself and if I met the right person.

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Post #: 24

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 1:09:53 PM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
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It did and I have

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Post #: 25

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 1:11:24 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
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Thought about saying no, but I honestly don't know. Never plan on getting involved after hubby's death, but i did. I would not plan on it if things do not continue with Sir, but I do not know.

GreedyTop congrats on you soon to be marriage.

oceanwynds

(in reply to servantheart)

Post #: 26

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 1:34:02 PM

loveandlight87

Posts: 110
Joined: 2/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
However, I do have a backup plan and that is to become the scary lady with a bunch of cats and dogs, who wears big funny hats and grows flowers, veggies and herbs..... hell, I may do that anyway, just with Him..., but I do think it's a good plan.

I have a similar plan! Almost exactly, except no dogs, but maybe some chickens. Mine is age related as opposed to relationship status though. The plan will go into operation at the age of 50 beginning with lots of rhinestones and mismatched and loud clothing. Then it will progress from there so that by the time I am 60 I WILL be the crazy lady down the street, and happy as a clam!

At this stage in my life, I truly can't imagine eliminating D/s from my life whether or not my partner and I go the distance or not. I know that should something happen with us I would need time and introspection before I could move on. But move on I would.

love

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Post #: 27

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 2:38:10 PM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

My slave and I consider each other life partners. That said, I woul dexpect both of us to move on with our lives should something happen to end our relationship.

What that means varies...for myself, I'm actually very happy single, and only consider bringing someone into my life who is a really good fit. If I found that again, great. If not, frankly, I'll still be quite happy.

(in reply to loveandlight87)

Post #: 28

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 3:11:39 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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Yes. Sure it would hurt for awhile but I've done it before so I'm sure I can again.

I'm hoping that day never comes though.

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Post #: 29

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 3:23:45 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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It took me 42 years to find someone I could trust totally. I plan on this relationship being forever, I don't even want to think about it ending. I would need a long time to recover from that. However, I don't think people are meant to go through life alone, without a partner, so I would eventually seek out another D/s relationship.

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Post #: 30

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 3:33:24 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Good question but really hard to answer. I've gone into every serious relationship with the Til Death Do Us Part attitude, but so far that has ended with one death, one divorce and one still hanging in here, lol. Part of me says it's just easier to be alone, but i do tend to adopt strays...

As for my relationship with my pet. This is the first time i have ever gotten to the place of collaring someone and taking the control that i have. If/when it ends i am not sure where i would go next, if anywhere. I want to say no, but really just hope i don't have to find out.

3 dogs/2 cats...history of rabbits... working on my menagerie for my crazy lady days!

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Post #: 31

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 3:58:44 PM

sblady

Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
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A year ago I would have answered this question with an emphatic "NO". I'd been in a couple of relationships that left me emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained. I didn't have a problem having FWB but to really, truly give my all, it wasn't going to happen.

But as much as you try to fight against it, things can change...and believe me, I put up a good fight. I'm so glad I decided to follow my heart as I've had the best relationship of my life. Plus, He taught me that nothing lasts forever and to take every bit of happiness I can while I'm here.

So, although I rambled (had an emotional today) to answer the question: Yes, I'll be able to move on and try again with D/s or even a non D/s relationship, especially if the man has a dominant nature.

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Post #: 32

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 4:19:24 PM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

When I was younger I had the romance pretty well kicked out of me in a couple of vanilla relationships.

Now I have more experience with trusting and being trusted, which makes me stronger, and I think my expectations are also adjusted to be more in line with reality.

As far as D/s goes, I would probably need at least some element of it, because I don't really get off during vanilla sex. It's nice, but it feels like cuddling to me - quite lovely, but not fully engaging somehow...

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 33

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 4:36:47 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
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God help the woman who would ever have to fill her shoes.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 34

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 4:41:43 PM

sula

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline

Yes...but, not right away. And it wouldn't be easy...

sula

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Post #: 35

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 5:02:01 PM

StrictnSaucy

Posts: 363
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline

While I want to say yes, because I always want an element of D/s in my life, I really dont know. I am not sure I could ever meet another that I click with on such a multi platform level. Play partners sure. An indepth, loving relationship - not so sure.

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Post #: 36

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 5:15:51 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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~Fast Reply~

I'm the sort of person who seeks companionship. If Val were to in some way leave my life, I would move on in time. I have no idea how long that would be. It would never be the same relationship with the same rules. It would be something new. Though I'd probably focus on women for awhile.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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Post #: 37

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 5:30:54 PM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
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I have a positive nature. So after some down time, yes, I'll get up and try again to have another relationship. Why not?

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 38

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 7:49:15 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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I'm at a point in my life where I'm not sure how to answer that question. I think, if the relationship that I'm in ends, I know it will end in a way that will be positive for everyone involved... so there won't be a lot of pain and cleanup related to its ending. I've never believed in 'forever'... I believe that dwelling on 'forever' cheapens the simple joys of now.

I suspect that if the relationships I am in were to end, I might take a break from intimate/personal relationships for an indeterminate period of time. I've experienced monastic life, and it suited me well, and I may try a variant of that again for a while -- I've always dreamed of buying a motorhome and just driving around, writing. If people fell into my life and something started, I wouldn't shun it... but I don't think I'd actively look for another relationship of -any- type... at least, not right away.

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 1/13/2009 7:51:07 PM >

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(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 39

RE: Your last relationship? - 1/13/2009 8:05:55 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

This is for those who see themselves as being in a strong, healthy, fulfilling and long-term D/s relationship...

Nothing is forever; if/when for whatever reason your current relationship ends, do you see yourself as being able to move on and try again with D/s in the future?

When the last one ended I was absolutely positive that I would never allow myself to get involved in another bdsm relationship. I wanted no part of any of that again. Looking back, though, I now see that it wasn't anything remotely close to how I would define a relationship and it did serve a positive purpose of showing me exactly what I didn't want or need in a partner. When the new man walked into my life I was lucky enough to recognize how perfect he was for me. This relationship is so different and so fulfilling that I don't know what would happen if it ended. I feel as if he's ruined me for anyone else. It very well may turn out to be my last...

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Post #: 40

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