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Form Letter - 1/16/2009 10:46:09 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
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I am thinking of putting together a form letter that all subs/slaves/switches and anyone who just wants to can copy and paste to those “odd” emails. What do you think of this? (its a rough draft)
Please do not bother to respond to this email, as I will probably have blocked your profile by now. Below is/are my reasons for refusing your request/demand:
  1. I have no interest in your basement/dog run/barn/closet.

  2. I have no desire to hand over my paycheck so you can watch cable all day.
  3. I don't want to move to Africa/Asia/your state either to be your spouse or your slave. Those are even bigger places (and messes) than your basement.
  4. I would never do that with a baseball bat, I have more respect for the sport than that.
  5. I am not homosexual/heterosexual/bisexual and have no wish to be.
  6. I strongly believe that animals have rights too and would not want to violate their rights and have the SPCA on my ass.
  7. I don't wear that size shoe.
  8. I am not here to write new wank material for you, unless you pay by the word. Paypal, cash up front.
  9. I don't bend that much, nor do I want to learn how to.
  10. I want a real, twoo (insert label of choice here) and you just ain't it babe.


Thank you for this look into you fantasies and writing skills. Better luck next time.

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.
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RE: Form Letter - 1/16/2009 12:17:12 PM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
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From: BFE ohio
Status: offline
i like it.. i may have to steal this.. jsut for sh!ts and giggles.

H >:)


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RE: Form Letter - 1/16/2009 12:21:36 PM   
feydeplume


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It's not stealing if I offer it up  freely... can't rape the willing after all (ok that isn't true, but... )

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to Hanable)
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RE: Form Letter - 1/16/2009 12:40:26 PM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
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From: BFE ohio
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lol true true.. and u can so rape the willing... hows ur day been?

H >:)


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Will you be my hooker??


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RE: Form Letter - 1/16/2009 1:55:07 PM   
SteelofUtah


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From: St George Utah
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It would seem you have forgotten a couple I'll add them in for you No Per Word Charge.

11. You are not a Dominate and you cannot Dominant me.
12. I believe that losing THAT much blood would make you my Murderer not my Master
13. I don't do Sploshing or Splooching and have no desire to cover myself in Bush's Baked Beans
14. I don't think anyone should be left in a closet for "Days" that would just be boring, Have you really thought that through?
15. I have no desire to fuck you with a strap on while you order me to call you my bitch (Sends Mixed Messages)
16. No I will not be your practice girl for live spinning knife throwing I don't care how kinky you find it
17. I am not interested in anyone of us switching underwear at ANY time
18. Choking to the point of black out on your cock is not as attractive to me as it is to you
19. If I wanted to do porn I'd have done porn so I'm interested in posing for your cell phone
20. Yes I would be offended if you wanted me to fuck all your friends while you jerked off in the corner
21. Face slapping is for hot intament moments and women names Scarlet we don't know each other that well
22. Licking your asshole..... Lets add that to my Hard Limits List
23. I have no desire to be your little girl or soil my diaper for you.
24. Much of what you want of me is a Felony.

Steel

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RE: Form Letter - 1/16/2009 2:24:15 PM   
BlackPhx


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poenkitten

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RE: Form Letter - 1/16/2009 4:11:51 PM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline
snort gag* ok.. no more eating toast while in the humor section.

H >:)


_____________________________

Will you be my hooker??


Forum Rankings


Fate: a horribly wonderful thing

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/link.php?id=SGFuYWJsZQ==

http://dragcave.net/user/Hanable

(in reply to BlackPhx)
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RE: Form Letter - 1/16/2009 7:19:50 PM   
floridagal


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
toooo funny!!!

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RE: Form Letter - 1/17/2009 4:43:00 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline
Ok rough draft two:

Please do not bother to respond to this email, as I will probably have blocked your profile by now. Below is/are my reasons for refusing your request/demand: I have no interest in your basement/dog run/barn/closet.
  1. I have no desire to hand over my paycheck so you can watch cable all day.
  2. I don't want to move to Africa/Asia/your state either to be your spouse or your slave. Those are even bigger places (and messes) than your basement.
  3. I would never do that with a baseball bat, I have more respect for the sport than that.
  4. I am not homosexual/heterosexual/bisexual and have no wish to be.
  5. I strongly believe that animals have rights too and would not want to violate their rights and have the SPCA on my ass.
  6. I don't wear that size shoe.
  7. I am not here to write new wank material for you, unless you pay by the word. Paypal, cash up front.
  8. I don't bend that much, nor do I want to learn how to.
  9. I want a real, twoo (insert label of choice here) and you just ain't it babe.
  10. You are not a Dominate and you cannot Dominant me. I am not the droid you are looking for.
  11. I believe that losing THAT much blood would make you my Murderer not my Master and no I don't think it would be a good weightloss plan.
  12. I don't do Sploshing or Splooching and have no desire to cover myself in Bush's Baked Beans or any other canned food product, especially spam.
  13. I don't think anyone should be left in a closet for "Days" that would just be boring, even with a net connection, all the bon-bons I can eat, and a picture of you. Now if you throw in a Toy or Pet of my choosing...
  14. I have no desire to fuck you with a strap on while you order me to call you my bitch (Sends Mixed Messages) and you just don't have that much money.
  15. No I will not be your practice girl for live spinning knife throwing I don't care how kinky you find it. I like my body parts as much as you like yours, attached and fully functional. Just THINK about that one buster.
  16. I am not interested in anyone of us switching underwear at ANY time. I don't “do” tighty-whities.
  17. Choking to the point of black out on your cock is not as attractive to me as it is to you and from the attached picture, probably not likely either.
  18. If I wanted to do porn I'd have done porn so I'm NOT interested in posing for your cell phone
  19. Yes I would be offended if you wanted me to fuck all your friends while you jerked off in the corner. But hey if they are cute wanna' introduce me to a few of them?
  20. Face slapping is for hot intimate moments and women names Scarlet we don't know each other that well and I do not rely on the kahdness of strangers.
  21. Licking your asshole..... Lets add that to my Hard Limits List
  22. I have no desire to be your little girl or soil my diaper for you. Baby power and diaper rash ointment just aren't sexy to me.
  23. Much of what you want of me is a Felony.
  24. Much of what you want of me is physically impossible or would require stunt men and women.
  25. My state has stalker laws and my lawyer will be contacting you. 
Thank you for this look into you fantasies and writing skills. Better luck next time.

Edited for format and coffee


< Message edited by feydeplume -- 1/17/2009 4:44:01 AM >


_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to floridagal)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Form Letter - 1/17/2009 5:08:52 AM   
GimpinDenial


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline
What?...
But

But.....


  1. Gil left CSI, now I have to watch United States of Tara
  2. Basement? A single wide trailer doesn't need a basement.
  3. It's aluminum, so no splinters.
  4. So, you are Asexual....Can I watch?
  5. They aren't LIVE animals, you think I am crazy? Sheesh
.
  7. Ok, 10 million Zimbabwe dollars have been sent.

  12: It's Spamalicious....





the rest I just couldn't respond to.....


< Message edited by GimpinDenial -- 1/17/2009 5:11:35 AM >


_____________________________

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RE: Form Letter - 1/17/2009 5:39:00 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline
hmm yer right 4 needs more work... perhaps something like "I am (sexual orientation) and have no wish to be forced to be (sexual orientations) here just because you think i have cute (body parts here).  What cha think?

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to GimpinDenial)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Form Letter - 1/17/2009 5:53:45 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
Now this thread has some real potential. Let me see if I can find some more vodka.

T

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RE: Form Letter - 1/17/2009 9:54:43 AM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
Must remember not to drink coffee while reading here......

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owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

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