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Your First Munch - 1/16/2009 10:33:31 PM

parakeet89

Posts: 94
Joined: 12/8/2008
Status: offline

So, about a year ago I joined this site on a different account, but forgot about it until a couple of months ago. Since then I've been talking to people online, visiting these forums, etc, and tonight I went to my first munch.

I wasn't sure what to expect. I was nervous as heck though even though it was just a munch. But I had a good time, met some lovely people, and am very happy I went. It was one of the few social gatherings I felt even remotely comfortable in. (Yes, I was my usual shy self, but I was a lot better than I usually am in big groups.) It was a really cool feeling to take my first step in bringing my fantasies out into the real world.

So, tell me about your first time meeting the local community! Or just meeting someone who shared your interests.

Post #: 1

RE: Your First Munch - 1/16/2009 10:58:09 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

My first much was very very boreing.

I went to meet a local Domme who said she'd be there, stop by and we could talk she could tell me a bit about the groups, So I did stop in.

Most people however were there with friends or knew each other, so they were very very clickish, and bordered on unfriendly some of them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: parakeet89

So, about a year ago I joined this site on a different account, but forgot about it until a couple of months ago. Since then I've been talking to people online, visiting these forums, etc, and tonight I went to my first munch.

I wasn't sure what to expect. I was nervous as heck though even though it was just a munch. But I had a good time, met some lovely people, and am very happy I went. It was one of the few social gatherings I felt even remotely comfortable in. (Yes, I was my usual shy self, but I was a lot better than I usually am in big groups.) It was a really cool feeling to take my first step in bringing my fantasies out into the real world.

So, tell me about your first time meeting the local community! Or just meeting someone who shared your interests.

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 2

RE: Your First Munch - 1/16/2009 11:02:08 PM

Loliita

Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline

I never have been to a munch but I'm thinking about attending one that is being held by some people from the kink forum in craigsslist. I don't know what to expect. Boredom probably.

I'm thinking about holding my own munch and spanking everyone who shows up. The spanking would be discrete of course. :-O

"hey, who's the girl in the men's room with a paddle?"

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 3

RE: Your First Munch - 1/16/2009 11:22:17 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Ha, I got the "Well! They're certainly getting younger." *stomp stomp*

However, if I've got this time concept right, I'm pretty sure I'm not getting younger, and you sir, are just being crotchety.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to Loliita)

Post #: 4

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 12:40:08 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Well, at my first munch they duct taped me to the ceiling and threw martini olives at me.

Of course being a gracious group of kinkidinks, they thoughtfully left the toothpicks attached.

Did you know that the human torso has a perfect bulls-eye for that unexpected game of darts?

Ah, good times.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 5

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 12:47:07 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

The first munch was a subbies only one so i took my sub side along

. It was scary to start with sure, but i was surrounded by all these ordinary everyday people talking about a lot of ordinary everyday stuff and some not so ordinary stuff! i enjoyed it a lot. i found them a friendly bunch and quickly got to know those sitting nearest me. i think having a meal helps as you have to sit next to people for a while so can talk, whereas a standing munch where friends hang together in groups with drinks is much harder to break into.

Subsequently I went to other munches with My Domme side ... ultimately I ended up hosting some. I encourage newbies to contact the munch organisers and let them know they are coming, they will usually tell you how to find them (eg black balloons on the table). When you get there go up and let them know you're there. They will likely introduce you to a few reliably friendly people to get you started. However, if you DO contact them, make sure you actually TURN UP or phone again if you are delayed or unable to get there, I have spent a few munches ignoring My meal trying to keep an eye out for a no-show!

Btw to munch organisers ... while it's great to catch up with your friends, do remind folks to be friendly to the newcomers and bear in mind they are likely to be nervous. It helps to let people know what the deal is re the table (and what to do if 3 groups have black balloons as happened to us once!), what the average cost of a meal will be, dress code and any protocols, things not to do or talk about etc. Be prepared to give out a mobile number so you can be contacted by latecomers or no shows.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 6

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 1:08:07 AM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

Have not gone to one and do not plan on it

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 7

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 3:39:16 AM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

My first one was more successful than I thought it'd be. I'm rather shy so really didn't say much, mainly listened. Everyone was way off my age range save for one person, who happened to be a hot guy...who happened to talk to me after the munch and walk with me to the club afterwards and play there. Still keep in contact with the guy to this day even though we haven't had a chance to meet in person again since then due to him being so busy.

Every other munch I've tried has been a flop (granted, I only went two other other times). One time was the runner's b-day and it was so crowded with people in the diner area it was torture. The second time I took someone I met off CM as a way to meet them and chit chat at the munch. That time went alright (it's a lot easier to do things with someone else) but it was still pretty dull. The munches are pretty dull, an older crowd and usually filled with people I don't have much in common with...but hey, sometimes you luck out.

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)

Post #: 8

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 3:54:25 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

Your right....

I lucked out...I think...

Anyways....I was nervous...all in all I guess most were there for the same reasons I was...

To prey or be...preyed...upon...

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 9

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 3:54:33 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

~fr~

I got talking to a local Dom a couple of months before I went to my local munch. We met up, decided we were going to be friends, and I went with him to the munch. I was nervous, but everyone was so lovely I soon felt at home. I now regularly attend two local munches and visit a third, more distant munch every few months.

It also meant that as a single sub I had a group of people I could go to fetish clubs with so that I didn't feel self-conscious and lonely.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 10

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 3:56:01 AM

ExKat

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline

The first time I went to a munch was with Ex. Having only experienced BDSM through the online dating sites, I assumed the real-life community was similarly 80% trolls, so there was no way I was going to a real munch on my own. The munch was alright, but I realized that I'm not a very social person and probably wouldn't be very comfortable with a large group of people at any point.
I've been trying to make it up to a TNG in my local big city, thinking that might be a slightly more comfortable environment (age is just a number-you say! Well, for me, it's a number that has meaning. Perhaps that will change as I mature, but for now, it's a number that can make me uncomfortable). I've looked into getting a local munch started, but the area I live in is small and interconnected, so many people are too shy to come out and attend. And, judging by the types of messages I get off the group boards about setting up a munch, it's full of trolls.

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 11

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 4:35:22 AM

Daenok

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

I would love to find one in our area. Unfortunately, the closest ones seem to be about an hour drive north to Tucson. Mistress and I might end up going to one or two, but it is really to far to be a regular thing.

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)

Post #: 12

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 5:24:19 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I have no desire to go to a munch and sit around eating with a bunch of people just because we may have some kink in common. If I'm gonna do that then I'm going to my favorite local pub and getting some good steamers and cold beer. The conversations there are usually much more interesting...

_____________________________

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 13

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 5:39:10 AM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

I enjoy them. I think sometimes people's expectations of them vary, though. I go to meet other like minded individuals, & to meet with other's who have become friends from other munches or events I have attended. Munches are my number one, preferred method of meeting someone new. I don't mind coffee, but I like knowing that the person I might someday play with, has been seen by others, who could identify them in the event something were to happen to me. Munches, to me, are not pick-up places. I think sometimes, disappointment with them, is because people sometimes think of them as a pick-up place to meet prospective dominants or submissives. The other thing about them, is that I enjoy the group setting. While I enjoy meeting new people at them, for me, it is not an event where I will want all my time there to be spent with just one person, who may have come to just meet me. Depending on how many people come, sometimes, it is difficult to do much mingling. The ones I go tend to have a few very social people that are great at making everyone who attends feel welcome, but people who are new to these events really should, at least in my opinion, meet everyone halfway by introducing themselves & by trying to get to know the others who are attending. Ask questions. You have an opportunity to get to know a variety of people who have different views of the lifestyle, & of playing. If you are interested at all in what bdsm has to offer, it is a great way to find out more about what interests you, & maybe some new interests, as well.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 14

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 5:45:48 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I can't remember that far back... honestly I can't, I was 22 and now I'm 39 so that's a long time ago.

I do remember that Tom went to the first Applemunch by himself because I came down with pneumonia but we both wanted him to go. So when I went the next munch it was his second time. This was back in the online email list days before we ditched the nicknames (Ourse and Ours for anyone who might remember) and just became us.

I can remember going to my first Headspace munch when we moved to B-town. I was curious but that's really the only emotion I remember. But I'd been somewhat active in a few NYC groups for 5 years before then so I was just wondering how smaller midwest town munch would compare to the big city's. Answer: Not that different at all, just a new place and new people.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 15

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 7:40:08 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

I had contacted the submissive lady who runs our local group and asked about the munches. I explained that I was terribly shy around people I don't know, and horribly nervous about attending a munch...... but that I really wanted to come out. She told me that it took her 10 tries of standing outside and not going in before she went in to her first munch. I knew I was speaking with a kindred soul.

So I went and was soooooo nervous. I walked into a room full of everyday people. Imagine that! LOL! They were very welcoming and I sat by the leader, quiet and nervous.

Walking in the door of that munch was the first step that lead me to my Master, because I met Him at my first play party a few months later. Now we're both very active members of our club, RSVP in Baton Rouge.

We're a very social bunch, so besides our munches, we have ladies night, impromptu coffees or dinners...... we don't really need an excuse to get together!

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 16

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 7:45:06 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I went alone. I was shown the newbie table (it wasn't set up that way, just turned out that way) and sat with a bunch of other people who didn't know what was going on. The group leaders came by and graciously explained the group and evemts to us. A couple of other people stopped by to introduce themselves but most of the regulars didn't really acknowledge us. I didn't have anything in common with the other newbies at my table. A regular from these boards was there, said hello to one or two other newbies at the table, offering to fill their water glasses, and kept going.

I haven't been back.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 17

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 7:46:59 AM

parakeet89

Posts: 94
Joined: 12/8/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Ha, I got the "Well! They're certainly getting younger." *stomp stomp*

However, if I've got this time concept right, I'm pretty sure I'm not getting younger, and you sir, are just being crotchety.

Jerks. I'm glad I didn't get any of that. I got the typical "fresh meat" comments from some people, but it was done in a joking manner.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 18

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 8:10:30 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Will be attending my first one in 2 weeks! Should be quite interesting as I have no idea how many are going to show up. I have a feeling it'll be mostly a younger crowd and anticipate that it'll be more of a meet and greet situation until it becomes more established!

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to parakeet89)

Post #: 19

RE: Your First Munch - 1/17/2009 8:25:43 AM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

OMG... let me try and think back that far....it's been years since my first munch.
It was exciting but frightening....i didn't know a soul real time, only talked to people online and i tried to match faces with pictures i'd received. I met some really nice people though..and i've always been glad i made that step into the lifestyle.
Pretty exhilarating to finally meet like minded people!

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 20

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