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24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/17/2009 4:01:02 PM   
WNYsbestDomme


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		    Hello and thanks for taking the time to look at this.  I am a professional Dominatrix, who is slipping into the Lifestyle mode.  As such, I would like to get a house slave in to help with chores, etc.  I am looking for things that have worked best- as far as setting rules. Do contracts work ? or collaring?  I know  every case is different, but I would like to start my slave off on the right knee.  Mistress Angel WNY
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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/17/2009 5:49:12 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		No offense, Angel, but a 24/7 live in slave is not a kitchen appliance that you plug in and unplug. 

You are a pro Domme, which means that you have finite sessions with submissives.  Have you ever had a full D/s relationship, with both sexual and service submission?  There is a big difference between being a Top for play and being responsible for s submissive, let alone a slave.

I suggest you ease into a relationship like the one you propose.


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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/17/2009 6:17:37 PM   
MistressLamia


Posts: 36
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with DarkSteven. When someone pays you for service you basicly do what they want. If not you would be out of business in short order. That is true of all businesses. When you have a real sub you have a whole new dynamic at work. Your sub needs to not just be trained but also needs emotional, mental and physical attention. It is a Dominants responsibility to care for their sub not just simply use them. However if you are hankering for a real relationship just take it slow until you find the right one. Just like any relationship it takes work.

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/17/2009 6:55:53 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		I would say do loads of research first and when you do choose someone you really need to know them.  With a lifestyle slave you have a huge responsiblity.  You have to take care of him not only physically but emotionally.  There is no end scene, it's continuous, and sometimes tiring, like having a little one. 

Collars, contracts, etc. it really depends on you.  I do use these, gives us both a sense of security, especially at first, and the beginning is always the hardest, major changes for both, especially if it's the slave's first time.

Mostly just trial and error...takes a while, just don't get discouraged.

good luck!

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/17/2009 7:20:35 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		   Have you considerred someone whose kink is to do housework?  They might be willing to come in a few hours a day and just help you out with what you need without the 24/7 responsibilities.  This will allow you to ease into what you want and realize the effort it will take. 

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/17/2009 8:20:23 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

When slaves come to us to be owned 24-7 we've found there's two kinds. One kind wants to be owned, collared, and contracted for 24-7 fulltime and permanent slavery. But the other kind calls any session 24-7 slavery and wants to leave at the end of the session and return for more when ever he feels like it. We suggest figuring out which of these two kinds of 24-7 slaves you want and then screen the slave applications for the one you want. Be firm about what your looking for and let the applicants know. We prefer the real 24-7 slaves wanting real 24-7 slavery but we don't mind the other kind emailing us to apply too because we understand that not every sub can handle real fulltime slavery.

Hope this helps.

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http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 3:50:00 AM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		My advice would be to start with finding a suitable submissive or slave first with matching expectations and develop a relationship with them. It's far easier to modify the relationship to suit the people involved than to ever hope to modify someone to meet the expectations of a preconceived relationship.

What can you offer this 'slave' in return for doing your household chores? What do you expect? To me being able to trust someone, being able to get on with someone and live with them, and being able to communicate with them effectively is far more important than the D/s, collaring or contracts.

stella

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 3:55:51 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		If your main knowledge base is Pro work then I would recomend you start by having a relationship with a sub and see what happens, all the terms are buzz words that people apply after they have formed a relationship really.

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 4:03:00 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		All excellent posts above. I just want to take one idea and add to it a bit.

As a pro, in a way you have been serving your clients, doing what they wanted you to do. In a lifestyle situation you have to determine what YOU want them to do for you and find someone that fits your needs and personality. Otherwise, long term, you will end up with a very unhappy slave. I doubt you will be too thrilled either.

Do you want a service slave? If so, what does that mean to you? Are you a sadist who's primary needs are that of a masochist? Is sexual service your priority or household tasks? Is a fetish like.....feminization of a male slave......important to you or no? Do you want your slave to also be a life partner that fits into a wider scope of your life or simply waiting at home for you after you go out with others or visit family? Can you, and do you want to, financially support this slave or do you want them to be financially responsible for themself? Or, is your priority them supporting you? If so, their home service can't be as high a priority due to time constraints.

All very different things than you would experience solely from a pro perspective.

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 4:39:32 AM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WNYsbestDomme

   Hello and thanks for taking the time to look at this.  I am a professional Dominatrix, who is slipping into the Lifestyle mode.  As such, I would like to get a house slave in to help with chores, etc.  I am looking for things that have worked best- as far as setting rules. Do contracts work ? or collaring?  I know  every case is different, but I would like to start my slave off on the right knee.  Mistress Angel WNY

i prefer the left knee but then everyone is different


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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 7:08:07 AM   
SultryMomma


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		I just wanted to repost what Stella wrote. This is some very good advise.

SM
(Kris)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ALAstella

My advice would be to start with finding a suitable submissive or slave first with matching expectations and develop a relationship with them. It's far easier to modify the relationship to suit the people involved than to ever hope to modify someone to meet the expectations of a preconceived relationship.

What can you offer this 'slave' in return for doing your household chores? What do you expect? To me being able to trust someone, being able to get on with someone and live with them, and being able to communicate with them effectively is far more important than the D/s, collaring or contracts.

stella

(in reply to ALAstella)
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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 7:45:29 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		you could always hire yourself a housekeeper and just tell them what you want done for the money you are willing to pay them.

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 8:36:53 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

you could always hire yourself a housekeeper and just tell them what you want done for the money you are willing to pay them.


So far everyone has offered very good advice.  I quoted this post because I see this as being the best answer based on the information provided in the OP.
 
To the OP:
 
Professional Domination is a job, it's something you do for money and you are really providing a service.  It's a needed and demanded service, but  service none the less.
 
You say you are "slipping into the lifestyle mode".  Exactly what does that mean? 
 
Depending on the job, most of us can "slip" into and out of work mode quite easily.  It's not so easy to "slip" into and out of who you are as a person.  Being dominant or submissive or gay or straight or whatever other orientation you want to insert here, is not a mode.  They are not hats that a person puts on or takes off at will, they are parts of a person, characteristics that blended with everything else make up a person as a whole. 
 
Are you looking for a D/s based relationship with a person you care for and respect?  Or are you looking for someone to do house work free of charge?
 
If your answers are no and yes respectively, I suggest you call Merry Maids and add one more session to your weekly workload.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 8:43:35 AM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WNYsbestDomme

  Hello and thanks for taking the time to look at this.  I am a professional Dominatrix, who is slipping into the Lifestyle mode.  As such, I would like to get a house slave in to help with chores, etc.  I am looking for things that have worked best- as far as setting rules. Do contracts work ? or collaring?  I know  every case is different, but I would like to start my slave off on the right knee.  Mistress Angel WNY

ok getting up off my left knee and trying to take thus seriously.......
"I am a professional Dominatrix, who is slipping into the Lifestyle mode""....i didn't really understand this unless what you mean is that you consider being a pro Domme not part of the 'lifestyle' or if what you really meant was that you consider lifestyle to be living together or part-time together in a household or again lifestyle means no money changes hands but just service?
As such, I would like to get a house slave in to help with chores, etc.......again i think not really understanding this as you could get an au pair? i also feel that this is more likely to be a gender thing ie male slaves are culturally 'in the lifestyle' more likely to get off on doing service for a female domme. (sorry if that sounded like i was making a gender assumption, i wasn't but it based on my experience of both communications with make s-types, and friends/family member who are female dommes.
Again as to the question: do collars work or do contracts work....nothing works unless there is a relationship that works which underpins the process. If a male slave wants no strings attached discrete time slots for service then yes that would work if it was carefully contracted in some form....word/contract/bond.
What i feel curious about is why, as a pro domme, you are asking these questions? What works is what works for YOU as the dominant in the dynamic. Any hint of not knowing, or fragility of role would certainly have my slave type mind spinnig off into insecurity.
And as a female gender s-type the main exchange of the dynamic for me is a stable relationship......i cook, He counsels, i clean, He cares etc etc.
Having said that, since i am an alpha slave i have toyed with the idea of having my own slave and or a pet. different expectations i know but even so i could not do it without caring for them, cherishing and perhaps loving.
PS i also love my professional job and feel i do such a good job that i deserve the money i earn as an exchange for what is essentially service.
If you are a pro Domme who provides a service, who would be servicing whom in your household when and if you get the chores done?



< Message edited by SlaveIndigochild -- 1/18/2009 8:46:10 AM >

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 9:51:07 AM   
SadysticJester


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline 		while being a Pro has its ups/downs,having a real life slave/subs entails a whole new dynamic of thinking.first you need to think about what it is that you want from another,from yourself,as a whole.explore the different options mentally first to see if they fit into your everyday life.think everything through.attend diffent events functions and watch how others interact that fall into your category somewhat..this will give you a visual image to go along with your mental ones of what you have created.keep journals,this will also allow you to go back after a brain storm and pick apart or finalize thoughts.

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The fool may seem a Fool to some,but take care to fully explore what the Fool has to say,They are not foolish words...
SadysticJester

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 10:19:34 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		As a pro, you've presumably been focused on fulfilling their fantasies, giving your subs what they want.

As you move to lifestyle mode with a sub, decide what YOU want from HIM, and make that your focus. Use his desires and fetishes to seduce him and entice him into doing what YOU want. Keep in mind that in any relationship each party needs to feel they benefit from it, or it won't succeed. So give him at least some of what he desires, get him addicted to you, and continually keep things moving toward what you want. Eventually what you want will be the object of his desires as well.

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 1:11:30 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I would recommend investing in Master Fire's book "Manual Creation" - she's on here as MasterFireMaam and you can also find this on amazon.com I'm pretty sure. Everyone else had warned you about how different what you're looking to get into is from what you already do but I took it from your OP that you already knew that - that's why you were asking for guidance. Master Fire's book outlines the way she runs her household and gives a model for creating a manual to lay out what you want, need, expect, and what the slave gets in return. I found it very useful for getting me thinking about what is important to me even if I didn't end up using her template as my own.

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 3:19:13 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think you have a much greater chance of succeeding if you build up to 24/7 with someone and if you do it with your eyes wide open to what is and is not possible while dealing with the realities of life.

While it's an interesting fantasy that the slave learns everything and makes the changes, fitting into the owner's life. The reality is that the owner will also have to grow, adjust and make adjustments or frankly they cannot be in authority for a very long period of time. Real life is going to demand that owner's time, that owner will get ill, that owner will just frankly decide that X decision is not something she wants to make routinely any more. These aren't things you can just know, you have to learn them over time.

Start with someone you are compatible with on several levels and then, with your 24/7 goal in mind, both of you start working toward that. Try things out for much shorter periods. Make sure you include mundane matters in these periods. Slowly expand and figure out you maintain that authority dynamic while getting life done and with both people getting positives from it.

It will take quite a while.

Since you are slipping, you say into lifestyle, you'll need to define what you need and what you want and that is going to take time. You will make mistakes and you will need to make adjustments to things so don't sign anyone on for the big 24/7 plunge because they will expect something you can't give them at this stage of your growth.

I think it's better to bring someone along on the journey with you.

_____________________________

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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 10:14:12 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WNYsbestDomme

    Hello and thanks for taking the time to look at this.  I am a professional Dominatrix, who is slipping into the Lifestyle mode.  As such, I would like to get a house slave in to help with chores, etc.  I am looking for things that have worked best- as far as setting rules. Do contracts work ? or collaring?  I know  every case is different, but I would like to start my slave off on the right knee.  Mistress Angel WNY



Hi Angel,

A so-called "contract" in an M/s context is toothless as it is legally unenforceable. It's better to think of them as merely agreements—documents fleshing out the intended structure in black and white, and nothing more than that.

As for collaring and other such curious customs, they are only as meaningful as the individuals involved wish to make them. M/s as a successful way of life requires the participants have well developed personal accountability and commitment to their respective roles; that they have done a lot of soul searching and are sure of their path and the choices they have made. Though it may seem there are plenty of candidates to choose from, anyone familiar with the search for and testing the mettle of would-be resident slaves will know it's no small task to find an individual wholly suited for this degree of servitude.

If you want to start off correctly, you will no doubt wish to be very discriminative, not only of the motives of those who wish to serve you, but your own, as well. There are certain pursuits where the to thine own self be true philosophy seems more than appropriate to consider. Pursuing M/s, in my opinion, is without a doubt one of them.



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RE: 24/7 slaves- How to train. - 1/18/2009 10:48:23 PM   
awmslave


Posts: 599
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		In general, professional/lifestyle dominarix having male slave is a good combination. I am service oriented slave and I have served professional dominant for some time.The most important aspect for dominant, in my opinion, is to create a structure and clear set of rules to be followed consistently. Contracts are not necessary but would be helpful. Accessories can be creatively used to keep slave mentally attached to a mistress. For example to use some bondage items while slave is doing chores (if slave has strong bondage fetish) or special dress work uniform for a crossdesser. However, slave focus on tasks should be maintained. Also, slave should be given path and guidance to develop his skills. For example, if slave does cooking, he should be given tasks for increasing complexity.

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