RE: How to separate those who want to play online from those who will meet in reality?

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RE: How to separate those who want to play online from ... - 1/21/2009 6:56:35 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: surelyujest71
This is CM, so of course there should be some conversation about what each likes in BDSM.

Really? I never talk about BDSM. It seems to work pretty well. There's plenty of time to talk tab-A-and-slot-B when we're face to face.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: How to separate those who want to play online from ... - 1/21/2009 7:24:28 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I'm kind of a male rarity in that I don't play online, nor will I ever. I find it such a fake environment, and I don't really go into femdom activity just to get my rocks off. It's a lot more about lifestyle and a need in my life than anything else. It's a lot about service, and I find it really hard to be of service in an online environment. Thus, I find that if the woman and I do not meet pretty soon into the relationship, even if it's just to get to know each other over coffee, then I'm probably not going to pursue it that much further. I hate continuous, online communication, as if I find it such a false environment filled with small talk that really means so little. If that's what it takes to get a relationship going, then I'm probably not the right person for her. I do find that a lot of younger dominants tend to be seriously tied to the online activity, which makes sense as they've grown up with instant messenger and all that. I didn't. And I hate instant messenger. I was starting to see someone here at one point that could have led to something, but she was so into communicating online that we finally went our separate ways. It's too bad cause she seemed pretty cool, but she was very young, and for her, she needed that instant messenger environment as part of the relationship, and I really couldn't do it as it felt like I was wasting time just typing inane comments back and forth. Yeah, that's probably a bad way to look at it, but it's really hard to understand if you didn't grow up in an instant communication environment.

Recently, I had to reinstall Windows XP on my computer, and in doing so, I haven't even reinstalled any instant messenger on my computer. I've decided I have no intentions of doing so. I feel I'm better off without it. If someone doesn't want to meet in real life, or talk on the telephone, then we're probably not right for each other anyway.

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Post #: 42

RE: How to separate those who want to play online from ... - 1/21/2009 8:12:40 PM

surelyujest71

Posts: 48
Joined: 4/28/2007
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quote:

Really? I never talk about BDSM. It seems to work pretty well. There's plenty of time to talk tab-A-and-slot-B when we're face to face.

I can see something of your point. I suppose my point was simply that it would seem a waste if one of a pair were to trek halfway across the country, simply to find out that one's requirement turned out to be the other's cause to run and scream.

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RE: How to separate those who want to play online from ... - 1/21/2009 8:26:23 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire

I think that I'm pretty clear in my profile about what I do and don't want, but if I'm accidentally giving off "I want to be your webcam Mistress" vibes, by all means, feel free to let me know.

I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but here's my two cents.

Just looking at your picture, my impression is "I'm here for you to jerk off to". It could be worse, you could have an ass shot, or not be wearing a bra, but when you put your body out there like that, what else is anyone going to think?

You can discuss interests without having a 3 hour wankfest. There is no need to go into hot and steamy details, you can simply say "I'm into XXX and XXX and XXX" or refer them to your profile which lists interests.

Weeding out the ones who never plan to meet you? Don't go into those kinds of conversations until you meet. Ask them to meet, set a time and place, if they don't show up you've lost less than an hour and learned far more about them than you did in the three hour fantasy marathon.

When I first came to CM I had some of the same problems, men who wanted to email and IM for weeks, tried to get me to talk about fantasies before meeting (which I never did), and then when I finally got around to asking them to meet, most of them disappeared.

Now, I have very strict guidelines.

1.A couple emails about basic non kinky things.

2.I ask them to meet, and soon, tomorrow or the next day if they are in Nashville. I give a little more time if they are out of state, but still a reasonable amount of time.

3. If they can't meet me, something comes up and they have to cancel I give them one more try, but again, it's soon.

4. No more than that. NONE. I don't have time to play their games.

This is a very good topic for me today. As I have a decision to make about a meeting that has been put off. It's someone from out of state, but I'm thinking that it's put up or shut up time.

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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RE: How to separate those who want to play online from ... - 1/21/2009 8:36:35 PM

surelyujest71

Posts: 48
Joined: 4/28/2007
Status: offline

WTG Tress. There are only so many random "emergencies" that can coincidentally fall on the days set aside for meeting.

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RE: How to separate those who want to play online from ... - 1/21/2009 8:41:52 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Eh, it's usually not much of a problem for long.

Once I go live on cam or send a video chat,
it quickly turns into one of those expected
"Oh so that is you in that avatar... gotta go."

chia* (the pet)

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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: How to separate those who want to play online from ... - 1/23/2009 10:17:57 AM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

Hello A/all,

SD: First, I will back Peon up on the last sentence of your profile. Second, I like the photo that you posted. I get the impression that you mean business. It is obvious that you also enjoy that business; however, the fact that you are holding that cane strikes me as a straight forward message about your interests. Lastly, my only other concern about your profile is in the second paragraph when you mention being a "caretaker in the bedroom." It seems to send a signal that is contrary to the rest of your profile's message. I recomend that you delete or amend that sentence. Mentioning bedrooms gives any man (even one over 35) delusions of grandure. Okay! I'm a horn dog!

Take heart! It is necessary to sift through a great deal of sand to fund a nugget

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

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You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
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Post #: 47