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RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 11:14:51 AM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		Read any "Does Size Matter" thread, and you'll see why.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 1/19/2009 11:15:06 AM >

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 11:28:14 AM   
kristileigh


Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		Would you meet or even converse with someone who was not the right height , weight , or  penis length standard that you want?
Might be the best person for you.
Did you lie even a pound or two on your profile? An inch or two? Cup size?

slave kristi



_____________________________

proud submissive/slave belonging heart and soul to
Master Chris!

(in reply to Amaros)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 11:44:04 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kristileigh
Did you lie even a pound or two on your profile? An inch or two? Cup size?

No.  And I won't meet women who have.  For example, I live in Ames (near you), and the fact that you seem to think misrepresentation is not a big deal makes me less interested in attending one of the events you have advertised.  I have no time in my life for people who are not for-real and straight-up.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to kristileigh)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 12:00:08 PM   
dmt


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		see now me, I always lie in reverse make it an inch shorter, Just so she's pleasantly surprised...

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 12:04:07 PM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline 		While everything people said before is quite true, I think you mean on the internet, like the collarme profiles.  The reason people lie is that they want to actually have a chance to start a conversation, without being dismissed before even getting to say hi.  Worse than that, because of a few inches, someone could be completely ignored for a long while.

Take a Dom for example: subs  seeking a Dominant man usually want him older, taller, ect...  Well if you're a 5 feet tall Dom, your profile really won't be browsed often, and you being the perfect match in everything else, simply because subs will check that they want someone who's at leat 5'6'' for example. 

Here's a true experience in my case:  I came on collarme at age 22, and my inbox was always empty.  Then at one point at age 26 I realized I hadn't changed my age in a while, so I set my age from 24 years old to my current age at the time, 26 years old.  In the following week I had rush of messages from people who thought I was new, commented on my picture, told me they found the "32  things a sub shouldn't do" in my journal funny, ect.  I really wondered what what happening, if I was the flavor of the month or something, and I asked.  Well it turns out most of them had their filter set to see Doms with a minimum age of 25.  Others were refered by the said people who had those filters.  I already had a sub at the time, but I still had great conversations with really interesting people.  So all this time before I missed out only because a parameter was set too low.  I was too young to be interesting.


(in reply to Amaros)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 12:29:29 PM   
kristileigh


Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: kristileigh
Did you lie even a pound or two on your profile? An inch or two? Cup size?

No.  And I won't meet women who have.  For example, I live in Ames (near you), and the fact that you seem to think misrepresentation is not a big deal makes me less interested in attending one of the events you have advertised.  I have no time in my life for people who are not for-real and straight-up.

*****gee made me go back and look at my profile*****
no lies there. i am pretty open. So is Master and the members of AmesBDSM group.(yes there is really one here)

slave kristi


_____________________________

proud submissive/slave belonging heart and soul to
Master Chris!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 1:23:29 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I don't know you, and I have not looked at your profile.  The post I quoted sounded to me as though you were asking the OP if she did a normal, standard internet thing.  I was put off by what I read as a "no big deal" tone.  Perhaps I misunderstood.

I don't see why I should meet people just because they are kinky.  If you want to meet me, I'll be at the UNI faculty chamber music recital tomorrow night.  One of my friends is performing.  You'll also get to meet my hot date I've posted about a couple times.  Admission is free, and they're trying to get more people confirmed, because they are concerned about competing with the inauguration, so you're warmly invited.  But please understand, if my date or my friend ask me how I know you, I'll tell them that we post to the same kinky sex message board.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to kristileigh)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 1:55:31 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Red, hows come Ames and my farm in Podunk Iowa is so effing far apart. Not to mention asking me to get dressed and leave the farm right now is a bit more than I can handle.....

I wouldn't be hard to find.........trail of Kleenex and all.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 2:36:36 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Listen ... I've lied in the past. I've screwed up my life because of lies. So, I'm blunt now.
I will chat with anyone and love making friends. If you are looking for a relationship, you should be completely honest. That means not just putting down the correct answers to profiles questions, but also answering completely (yes, many don't include height, weight, marital status, what they really are, etc.)
I'm honest about myself. I'm 53 (make sure to check you've changed your age since your birthday), I'm 6'3". I'm bald. I have blue eyes. I am between 235 and 240 lbs usually (after visiting my mom at Christmas, I had to lose a few pounds). I have ummms (8 to 23) and life conditions that will take a special lady to adapt. I need to be physically attracted to the lady. I like petite ladies. I don't care about breast size, hair color, race, religion or eye color. I don't care about age. I want someone who matches intellectually.
I've pretty much laid myself open in my journal and profile. I answer all questions directly. I don't want to meet someone and have them be surprised at what I look like.
Ladies I expect the same honesty. As we chat, I will be honest in what I say, even if it scares you away (yea, I have scared some away).
Unless you are playing games only on-line and don't expect to meet, your lies will be found out. Constructing an on-line world without telling people just hurts them. Not sure why you would want to do that.
So, some lie by putting down information that is wrong, and some mislead by not putting down information (if you are really looking, I think you should fill it all out completely). Many don't put out pictures. You can still put up a picture that gives an impression of you, while protecting your privacy.
So why do Dom's lie. The same reason everyone else does ... to hide parts of you, you think will reduce your chances of meeting someone, to create a fantasy person, because you are not happy with who you are, to deceive people.
It's easy to lie, much harder to tell the truth.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 2:50:12 PM   
ReinaPop


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/7/2009
Status: offline 		I get the feeling that we tend to idealise people who are into bdsm. As it has been said, bdsm practioners are basically ordinary people, and they (we) cannot escape ordinary people's flaws. I thinks that's about it. Some people lie? Well, then you'll get that some of the people into bdsm will lie too, regardless their roles (trust me, I know a looooooot of submissives who are also liars)
Regards,
Reina

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 3:03:55 PM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinaPop

I get the feeling that we tend to idealise people who are into bdsm.


Really? I actually tend to assume anyone into BDSM has at least one major flaw, bad habit, character trait or traumatizing experience that hampers their life.  At some point, the reason they are into BDSM is usually connected to that, and use BDSM to compensate or lessen that problem.  Until now, I've always been right on this.

Then again, one could argue that I can also correctly assume this is true with vanilla people...

(in reply to ReinaPop)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 3:06:10 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

No, I have not. But then, I don't ask them their height, penis size, or other uninportant incidentals such as that.


This suggests to me that you have found a magic spell to keep Dominant men from telling you their penis size unless you ask.

Please, please, Pleeeaahahessss.... could you post it?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to alianora)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 3:07:26 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Anyone who claims that they've never lied is...lying.

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(in reply to yieldtoyou)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 3:08:22 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

Really? I actually tend to assume anyone into BDSM has at least one major flaw, bad habit, character trait or traumatizing experience that hampers their life.  At some point, the reason they are into BDSM is usually connected to that, and use BDSM to compensate or lessen that problem.  Until now, I've always been right on this


See, I don't agree that you have been right about this. I think people see what they believe in, and you believe in this.

I think anyone and everyone has at least one major flaw, bad habit, character trait or traumatizing experience in their personal history. (actually, I think an AND would fit there just fine and dandy.)

I think that YOU expect to see a connection between peoples sexual prefrence and their 'fatal flaw', and, since you expect it, you see it.

Gee, that's pretty easy to understand, isn't it?

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to LordDarkPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 3:11:28 PM   
ReinaPop


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordDarkPleasure

quote:

ORIGINAL: ReinaPop

I get the feeling that we tend to idealise people who are into bdsm.


Really? I actually tend to assume anyone into BDSM has at least one major flaw, bad habit, character trait or traumatizing experience that hampers their life.  At some point, the reason they are into BDSM is usually connected to that, and use BDSM to compensate or lessen that problem.  Until now, I've always been right on this.

Then again, one could argue that I can also correctly assume this is true with vanilla people...


Ouch... this sounds like a horrible prejudice... dunno how to answer...

(in reply to LordDarkPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 3:53:25 PM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

quote:

Really? I actually tend to assume anyone into BDSM has at least one major flaw, bad habit, character trait or traumatizing experience that hampers their life.  At some point, the reason they are into BDSM is usually connected to that, and use BDSM to compensate or lessen that problem.  Until now, I've always been right on this


See, I don't agree that you have been right about this. I think people see what they believe in, and you believe in this.

I think anyone and everyone has at least one major flaw, bad habit, character trait or traumatizing experience in their personal history. (actually, I think an AND would fit there just fine and dandy.)

I think that YOU expect to see a connection between peoples sexual prefrence and their 'fatal flaw', and, since you expect it, you see it.

Gee, that's pretty easy to understand, isn't it?


You might actually be right on this, but I think that the people who were naturally into BDSM activities from birth are quite a minority.  There are reasons that push people into BDSM, and those reasons are usually related to those experiences.  Here are a few examples:

- People who are raised in a very strict and disciplined environment will feel a need to punish/be punished

-People who felt the need of a parental figure will often be into spanking

-People who are taught that sex is wrong/evil, or that they shouldn't have sex before marriage will develop rape fantasies

Those are well documented examples that explain my point.  Like it or not,BDSM IS outside the norm and is not a common practice. There are reasons that  push people to Dominate, submit, whip, tie up, ect...I think its an important thing to know, as it explains the source of a person's interest.

@ReinaPop: I guess my line regarding vanillas was too subtle.  I'm not saying that people into BDSM are having more mental problems than others, I'd be insulting myself! 

All I was saying is, as I explained just now, that its usually important for someone's personnal growth to know what pushed them into WIITWD.  In general, people in BDSM are more open and tolerant than others, BECAUSE they do something about those issues, and find some sort of balance.

< Message edited by LordDarkPleasure -- 1/19/2009 3:54:37 PM >

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 4:02:21 PM   
ReinaPop


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/7/2009
Status: offline 		@LordDarkPleasure: ok, then, you too, tend to idealise people who are into the style...

(in reply to LordDarkPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 4:04:09 PM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline 		LOL crap, I guess you're right!

(in reply to ReinaPop)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 4:29:29 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordDarkPleasure

-People who are taught that sex is wrong/evil, or that they shouldn't have sex before marriage will develop rape fantasies



This is very true. My family has a lot of Pentecostals in it. They use to set me up with minister's daughters, or daughters of deacons. God love em. Spank em and take em and they were happy as hell. So prim and proper in public and such little sluts in private. They loved being "made" to do naughty things.

Yea, you got that one right.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LordDarkPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why do some Doms lie? - 1/19/2009 4:45:01 PM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think lies are limited to dominants.  People lie because they are afraid of how others will react to the truth.  

(in reply to yieldtoyou)
Profile   Post #: 40
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