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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/19/2009 4:38:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		When I actually find that thing that I get bored with, I'll let you know.

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/19/2009 6:25:49 PM   
King0fHearts


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/18/2009
Status: offline 		epona, you know I will always love you :) your eyes are pretty sexy :). ( there is so much more then just your eyes and the ummmm " other things " )

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/19/2009 6:40:33 PM   
tornaway


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		 
   I don't ever get bored - ever .   There's always something new , something interesting , something to think about , some great idea .   Even sitting in traffic , or waiting online in the store  - to me being alive in inherently unexpected , and continually offers newness .
 
    BUT - we each need to  make the effort to be open , to be observant , to imagine , to absorb , to create .  
 
    For something to be deemed boring ,  there needs to be someone who is making that decision - that judgement .    Perhaps looking at things in a different way will help ?

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/19/2009 7:05:03 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline 		I only wish I could experience the things I like often enough to get bored with them 

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 10:10:03 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
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Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

I only wish I could experience the things I like often enough to get bored with them 


DITTO!! lol

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 10:36:09 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		The only times that I have been bored is when I've spent time with peeps whom I find boring. I try do not do that.

Having said that, I've found that if one becomes "addicted" to any experience/feeling, a higher dosage of whatever that is becomes necessary in order to get the same "rush". Just something to consider, imo.  It may make one consider whether it's the process , the person , the relationship or a fixation on the feelings/rush which is of primary importance. 

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 10:41:46 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		I get bored when something becomes so routine that you dont think about it you just do it. I have had pets in the past this was a problem with, because they lacked the depth not to simply play a script and go through the motions. Usually by the time it had gotten that far I had already made all the efforts I could and they resisted the changes and there was no where to go for the wow anymore.

With Fox, thankfully, that doesnt happen because we have such an amazingly wide variety of things we enjoy together that if one isnt interesting us at the moment there will be another that does. I do not have a single thing I love, I have a single person I love and enjoy doing everything with. Thats where my wow factor comes from.

DV



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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 11:18:31 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra
...with a little work and focus, any scene should get you some ''wow'' as long as you put your focus on giving
''wow'', not receiving ''wow''.

Excellent point about changing your focus.
However - sometimes you want to just focus on you.
I think it's good to focus on both extremes (tho not at the same time..)

I think one key is to not worry about it too much.
Sometimes you'll be more inspired, sometimes more scattered and unfocused.
At the latter times, I think I just try and keep it light and have fun, even if I'm not going to be swept up into "dom space", or whatever you would call it.

Play (I'm using "play" in the most general sense) can have that range of feeling serious to feeling playful - and sometimes playful can switch gears for a while, too.
quote:


People have the restaurant going attitude, menu please! The best ''chefs'' are in the kitchen and can wow you with the same dish every time. Just my opinion. RL.
Well - that's a thing too. Some people crave novelty (at least occasionally), some crave stability.

< Message edited by Jeptha -- 1/20/2009 11:48:34 AM >

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 11:46:47 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Even after a fair few years, not once has anything become boring. No two times are ever the same; different day, different time, different moods, different sequence, different slant, different reason, different focus.

The majority of the things that WOW me in our relationship haven't anything to do with bdsm play, to be honest. M is simply an exciting, refreshing person and everything comes alive when he's around, no matter what takes place.

An interested person is an interesting person.

agirl







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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 1:14:22 PM   
DrSysAdmin


Posts: 37
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline 		Maybe its something in the water, but I have to agree with my fellow tarheel - NCNutcase - on this one. Its not as simple as saying its the person or people you work with.

But lets point something out here - every submissive says "it never gets boring" - but not all the Doms agree. Thats because few realize how difficult it is to keep things "fresh" for those we work with. Its can be hard to be D even when the mindset is natural for us. But back to the original point.

Sometimes our interests in certain activities wane. When they do - taking a break or finding a new facet is often a way of re-energizing. I recently took an extended length of time to voluntarily remain celebate and inactive in D/s. While a difficult thing to do (not to mention explain to my Pets), it allowed my mind to not only recharge, but to refocus and still expand my own thoughts and ideas. I admit, some thought that my lack of focus was in some way their fault - and it took quite some time to reassure them sufficiently that was not the case. However, we are human - and as such things get old, or we get tired. Sometimes a step away, or a fresh view, can change everything.

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 2:13:38 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

But lets point something out here - every submissive says "it never gets boring" - but not all the Doms agree. Thats because few realize how difficult it is to keep things "fresh" for those we work with. Its can be hard to be D even when the mindset is natural for us. But back to the original point.



This is silly! And the the typical Dominant ego inflating about how tough it is to be Dominant.  I have never found it difficult to keep things fresh and exciting... In fact.. it has been rather easy!..... It's easy not just because of my two wonderful girls.... and it's easy... because there is a desire and commitment by all of us in the relationship to put the effort into it!  Every step... Every effort is a joy and part of the excitement and challenge of having the relationship. 

Passion for the journey is to me much more important than trying to get to the destination.  If ones' focus is all on trying to get to a destination... they will see difficulties and feel the yoke of the challenge to get there!  But... I have found taking joy in the journey makes things easy and challenges are embraced to be overcome and savored as one overcomes them!

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 2:29:29 PM   
DrSysAdmin


Posts: 37
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline 		KoM - your entitled to your opinion - but kindly don't presume to speak for all of us, as you cannot know or have experienced every situation with the people involved.. I did not say it to inflate any ego, my own or any one elses. The fact is that both sides have great responsibility, and that we as leaders can sometimes - depending on both the person and situation, have a struggle. Perhaps you have not, and I hope you never do.

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 2:36:13 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
This is silly! And the the typical Dominant ego inflating about how tough it is to be Dominant.

I read it more as a lack of delegation skills... that the success of the relationship is entirely up to me, as opposed to a community project and shared responsibility.


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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 2:38:10 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DrSysAdmin

- but kindly don't presume to speak for all of us,


The irony of this comment is particular amusing when one consider statements like this in another thread.

"However, I will say as a D - its our job to not allow you that,"

Maybe you should take your own advice!

and for the record... I was speaking on what it is like for me!!! that it is easy! and not difficult.  I didn't imply or stated what it was like for anyone else!

and as far is this comment...

quote:

  your entitled to your opinion


thank you for your support... but I have no need for the sleeves out of your vest... keep them for yourself!

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Ho hum, now what? - 1/20/2009 4:30:00 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
--but eventually they don't deliver the wow factor or they get boring or too hard to plan for--


aaaaawww No...

After 20 plus years... that smile of Alandra still wows me... her laugh wows me... her eyes still wows me...  Even last night as I lay to sleep.. I was wow'd with just being between Alandra and Kyra.   Kyra is has only been with me a few years... I am excited as hell to know that next 20 plus years is going to be more wowing... and then some.

If Alandra or Kyra ever stop wowing me... I am going to have to look at what I am doing wrong and not look for something new to wow me.


Awwwwww.  This is why I'm semi-single.  Because this is what I've yet to find, that person who I am this compatible with that they don't have to do anything at all, and they still wow me. 
 
To the OP:
 
For me, there are some activities that I can take or leave, and there are some that I love to do all the time.  If I don't love doing those things with someone anymore, the problem is not the activity, it's my approach to it.  I have to examine what's missing, what's wrong, what's different, what's changed?  It usually has more to do with my feelings about that person and our relationship than anything else.

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