Question for Female slaves

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Question for Female slaves

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Question for Female slaves

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 5:48:50 AM

MistressAinCT

Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

I am curious about something, and this q really goes out to femmeslaves who serve FemmeDommes more than anyone else, but I am curious about what all think.

I noticed that on serveral profiles for female slaves who serve MaleDoms, they seem to take care of thing for their Masters...daily chores, the well being of their Dominants as well as serve their Master's other desires whether they be masochistic and sexual. However, I find it very difficult as a FemmeDomme to find a femmeslave who wants to be owned in that fashion-serve OUTSIDE the "dungeon" or play. In other words: service.

Before anyone criticizes My profile-and I know you all will-note that I am frustrated as most are with the wannabees and fakes on CM who only want the play, and think BDSM is a way to get off and not a lifestyle. So while it might seem harsh, the reality of it is, its what I am looking for. And I'm not looking for suggestions on how to change it, thanks anyway.

So here is the question: is it the female mindset that a man needs to be cared for but a FemmeDomme can take care of herself? That as a woman, the FemmeDomme should be able to take care of daily tasks HERSELF as women "should" and therefore doesn't need a female slave to assist? I actually have found males to be more compliant to serve than females are, and I just need to know if its a gender thing, a sexual thing (are FemmeDommes looked at as more like sexual beings?) or even as a "Mother" type being (I get "kids" asking to come serve..but what they really want is a mommy).

I can find a female plaything in a hearbeat, but its difficult to find the entire package. Maybe its My location-I don't know-but I think its an interesting dynamic to explore: does gender make a difference when it comes to a female serving a Dominant?

I look forward to the answers.

_____________________________

When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow www.mobiusmetals.webs.com

So many toys-so little flesh...

Post #: 1

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 5:52:19 AM

jen182

Posts: 495
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline

to me Male or Female deserve the same treatment the full package

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 2

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 5:53:45 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

My profile-and I know you all will-note that I am frustrated as most are with the wannabees and fakes on CM who only want the play, and think BDSM is a way to get off and not a lifestyle.

Greetings..

To my understanding Ma'am...BDSM is about "play and getting off by doing diverse things not considered of the normal".

Elements can be integrated into a dynamic for whatever purpose the persons involved choose..but BDSM is not the dynamic which produces the lifestyle. The D/s and M/s or Poly does that.

Well Wishes

starshine

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 3

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 6:16:40 AM

MistressAinCT

Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

I should mention that yes, I am seeking a D/s relationship and I do make that clear in the profile-I am probably one of those who use the term BDSM to encompass what we do, and I should be clearer. Of course its a relationship thing-I wouldn't as someone I was just merely playing with to walk My dogs or empty My dishwasher. I would expect and think a slave who is SERVING Me in a collared/ Ds relationship to do what I ask.

Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required?

_____________________________

When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow www.mobiusmetals.webs.com

So many toys-so little flesh...

(in reply to starshineowned)

Post #: 4

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 6:28:37 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

While I'm not a female, I am, however, a collared slave to an absolutely wonderful domme. My mindset is to take care of things for her so she isn't bothered and inconvenienced by trivial or mundane everyday tasks, unless she decides to do them. I love doing things for her and aim to make her life as easy and pleasant as I can make it. I am a believer in Female Supremacy and happily accept the general notion that women rule and boys drool. LOL I am not submissive to any man, so that mindset is out of the question.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that slaves usually cater to the dominant opposite sex because of the primal need to care for their partner. Women typically want to care for their man like the stereotypical 1950s subservient wife thing, while men want to typically care for the woman they love like in the days of chivalry and knights and queens. I guess female slaves look at female dominants as a way to explore the other side of things, get their rocks off, and go back to the other side of "normalcy".

Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to starshineowned)

Post #: 5

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 6:34:56 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

I am who I am, and that is a service-oriented, kinky, submissive woman. Were I oriented and inclined to seek a relationship with a female dominant, I would seek a relationship where all that I am could be fulfilled, including my need to serve.

Kink, submission and service aren't always a package deal. There are plenty of submissives who post here who will tell you that they are submissive and kinky, but are not service-oriented. So you must be encountering submissives who aren't wired for service, or they don't express it within a relationship.

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 6

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 7:11:48 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

Responses in red -

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT

I am curious about something, and this q really goes out to femmeslaves who serve FemmeDommes more than anyone else, but I am curious about what all think.

I noticed that on serveral profiles for female slaves who serve MaleDoms, they seem to take care of thing for their Masters...daily chores, the well being of their Dominants as well as serve their Master's other desires whether they be masochistic and sexual. However, I find it very difficult as a FemmeDomme to find a femmeslave who wants to be owned in that fashion-serve OUTSIDE the "dungeon" or play. In other words: service.

Before anyone criticizes My profile-and I know you all will-note that I am frustrated as most are with the wannabees and fakes on CM who only want the play, and think BDSM is a way to get off and not a lifestyle. So while it might seem harsh, the reality of it is, its what I am looking for. And I'm not looking for suggestions on how to change it, thanks anyway.
Your profile states what your looking for. I don't see anything wrong with that.

So here is the question: is it the female mindset that a man needs to be cared for but a FemmeDomme can take care of herself?
Actually I think a FemmeDomme might need more looking after than a male.

That as a woman, the FemmeDomme should be able to take care of daily tasks HERSELF as women "should" and therefore doesn't need a female slave to assist?
Yes my ex Mistress could take care of the daily tasks, but I never thought she should have to.

(well ok to be honest at that point she really couldn't cook and yes at her age she should have been able to, but she can now so it's all good)

I actually have found males to be more compliant to serve than females are, and I just need to know if its a gender thing, a sexual thing (are FemmeDommes looked at as more like sexual beings?) or even as a "Mother" type being (I get "kids" asking to come serve..but what they really want is a mommy).
While most of the males I know in real life are very capable, judging from the amount of posts on here whining about not being able to find one makes me wonder. I think that is more an internet thing. Of course I have never looked for a male online so I can't say for sure.

I can find a female plaything in a hearbeat, but its difficult to find the entire package. Maybe its My location-I don't know-but I think its an interesting dynamic to explore: does gender make a difference when it comes to a female serving a Dominant?
While I have been topped by a male, I have no desire to serve one. So I guess yes, gender does make a difference to me in that respect.

I wish you luck in your search.

I look forward to the answers.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 7

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 7:13:40 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT

I should mention that yes, I am seeking a D/s relationship and I do make that clear in the profile-I am probably one of those who use the term BDSM to encompass what we do, and I should be clearer. Of course its a relationship thing-I wouldn't as someone I was just merely playing with to walk My dogs or empty My dishwasher. I would expect and think a slave who is SERVING Me in a collared/ Ds relationship to do what I ask.

Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required?

OMG...you have a dishwasher?

Mine didn't even have a stove. Of course that meant less pans to wash, but still.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 8

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 7:58:57 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I'm not a fan of housework, but in serving my former master, anything I did for him was because of my feelings for him and the connection I had with him - I wanted to do whatever would make him happy. So, it wasn't a "service kink", it was a "master kink".

I am not implying this to be the case for you, but I see a lot of people talk about how they can't find someone to do domestic stuff for them, and I always wonder if that's because they have not yet developed the connection and mindset in their slave to receive such service without hesitation. Perhaps that's ignorance on my part and I'll concede to that if it is, but it's where my thoughts fall on the topic.

I had a male pet for a time who was local to me, and who jumped at the idea of cleaning my apartment. chauffeuring me to the airport, shopping for me, etc. He said he didnt particularly LIKE doing those things, but doing them for ME is what made them enjoyable.

Again, that is just my personal experience. It may be much different for others.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 9

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 8:07:09 AM

MommyFiercest

Posts: 27
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

Correction-Straight people tend to want to cater to people of the "opposite sex". NOT everyone is staight.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 10

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 8:14:00 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required?

I'm not sure Anyone Male Dom or Fem Dom is deserving of anything until they find a person who wishes and feels that they deserve what it is the Dominant is asking for. There are probably just as many female slaves who are owned by Masters who are the sexual beasts only or public persona, and they hire a maid to clean.

Maybe its a cultural thing somewhere in there that most females were raised to think housework was their dept. and not a Mans, and maybe even some feel they do it better or more efficient than a Man due to training more in it growing up. Maybe they feel with a Fem Dom that she to..is capable of doing house chores ..meaning that the desire or urgency with a Fem Dom versus a Master isn't quite as strong or rewarding.

starshine

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 11

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 8:27:18 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT
Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required?

When I have been in actual relationships with femsubs, they have been every bit as attentive to me as they would have been a male. The whole point is that you have to be in a relationship with them. Just like finding a male sub who is the full package right off, its hit and miss. Getting what you want usually takes the time to build a relationship before they will happily serve. Insta-sub always come with catchs, male and female. Once you build the relationship, you will be able to get the service you want based on that relationship, not on expectations of that persons position.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 12

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 8:41:56 AM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

Does gender make a difference when it comes to a female serving a Dominant?

Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe it has more to do with the sexual desires/ orientation of the sub and their ideas about the perfect life. Many of the subs looking to serve one (only and ever) male are also looking to have children and desire to BE a 1950's housewife in as many ways as possible. Implied in most of their profiles is their desire to not work outside the home and a promise to make it worth their Masters while to be the sole bread winner. For many this is the fantasy, even if it is rarely the reality.

I think (notice the word think there) that many bi or homosexual women have to give up that socially fostered fantasy to accept their sexuality, and in that mental shift, they have to de-eroticize housework, wearing an apron etc. They have to embrace other female roles and because none of us are Superwoman, they have to let some skills lapse to work on others. So they either don't make the link between chores and sexual/emotional fulfillment or purposely supress or break that link.

I would think that this is more true for women that come to their sexuality latter in life because they have spend years already cooking and cleaning for someone that couldn't fulfill them and the acts invariably get linked to being unfulfilled and unhappy. I would guess that they would be resistant to going back into that role, unless they slowly relearned that link between day to day life and sexual/emotional fulfillment.

I may be wildly off on ALL of this, but I don't think it is some "lack" or expectation of the D, but rather something social and personal to the s

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to MommyFiercest)

Post #: 13

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 8:42:26 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

It simply depends upon the Female in question. I have had a few Female slaves offer sex, service and total obedience, males as well have offered this. While others of both genders have jumped at the kinky sex. It just depends upon who you are speaking too.

I think many Female slaves do so much housework because it usually is a requirement for them in a M/f relationship. Many do not like to do housework (although some thrive on it) but they do it as it is part of the dynamic. My male sub loves to do housework and if he could stay home and be a house husband he would surely do so. Perhaps when I hit the mega millions he can fulfill that dream.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to VampiresLair)

Post #: 14

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 8:52:56 AM

MistressAinCT

Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

For Me, the job of a slave of either gender is to make My life easier. In turn, the slave will get what s/he wants or needs. I don't care WHAT people might say, D/s IS a mutual thing in many respects. People should get what they need and deserve just like in the nilla world. Does it always happen? Unfortunately no, but we do strive for that perfection. I just will not be the one giving more than I receive.

I wouldn't expect to tattoo, pierce or even collar a slave (not in that particular order, btw) right off the bat: they have to earn that right. By the same token, I should earn their respect as well (yeah, and anyone who says a Dominant doesn't earn respect I think has issues, but that's MHO) -I don't expect IMMEDIATE gratification BUT what I DO expect is that if someone comes to Me and says they are ready to SERVE, they SERVE. And they SERVE first before there is anything physical.

I had a femmeslave come to My house, sit on the couch and ask, "is there coffee?". I told her she needs to buy a coffee machine for Me she could work, make it for herself and one for Me, too. Needless to say I also showed her the door. This is a person who swore up and down, six ways from Sunday she was a service oriented person. Apparently she meant HER being served. She wondered why I let her go, if it was something she did. I told her it was something she didn't do. I am sure to this day she hasn't a clue.

I find the diverse answers here very interesting. I know its possible to find service oriented people because I have seen it personally. I know that CM is probably NOT the ideal place because any jerk with a keyboard can be anything they want here (or anywhere else) so who knows what's really what. I shall keep trying, as I figure that every pot has a lid somewhere..just might take more time than I would like ( I could use a slave to sift through My pots to find the lids!). Hopefully, it will be worth it.

Keep posting, its interesting!

_____________________________

When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow www.mobiusmetals.webs.com

So many toys-so little flesh...

(in reply to VampiresLair)

Post #: 15

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 9:12:46 AM

beth314

Posts: 121
Joined: 1/7/2009
Status: offline

Maam, your demands are not unreasonable at all. Many who call themselves slaves are only interested in the sexual part of the dynamic and then there are others who desire the security and safety of finding the ONE who they can trust enough to give 100% of themselves, body, mind and soul. It is just as frustrating for the unowned lesbian slaves, who find that decision making and the responsibilities of dealing with life in general overwhelming. At times it feels as though we are just stumbling through life or enduring it until the Domme comes along and we can attend to the things we were created to do...serve our Domme, however she sees fit. I can say "we" because I do know others who feel the same way I do.Truth be known, many of us are bombarded by Doms and Dommes who are seeking a "playdate" and are arent interested in ownership. In another thread, someone wrote that slaves are entitled to choose who they want to be with, because it is ultimately their last choice of anything. I agree with that and surely you can understand what kind of pressure that is for a slave who would preferably have someone else make her decisions for her?

_____________________________

life is not measured by how many breaths you take...but by how many moments take your breath away!

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 16

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 11:02:16 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You're missing out on what a male dom may be giving his female sub. Yesterday The Man fixed the driver's seat in the car which wasn't locking into position. I made dinner and cleaned up while he was doing this. He gets out the ladder and changes the bulbs above my height, being as he's above six feet he can frequently change these without a ladder but he can carry the ladder by himself and I can't.

If your sub is doing your laundry and dishes, what are you contributing to the household chores? Do you do the lawn care? Snow shoveling? Anything? Because although I'm doing all the traditional female stuff, he does the traditional male stuff. If I had to do all of it while he lay around, I would be angry and resentful, not to mention too tired at night for sex or play. And too broke from paying a garage two hours work for fixing the car to buy anything good for dinner or any new toys.

Male/female/trans/sub/dom/switch doesn't matter. There are only so many hours in a day and lots of chores needing to be done. Either we share them or we get resentful.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to beth314)

Post #: 17

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 11:08:20 AM

MistressAinCT

Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

I have to say, beth, that it had occured to Me that perhaps it is My bisexuality that gives femmeslaves pause. I know many lesbian Domina who own female slaves, and they get service. Maybe that's because they can identify with each other better on the "sex"ual level.

The slave I spoke of in a previous post was lesbian-butch. She did NOT like men at all and did NOT get along with My male slave. The thing is, I did NOT hide My sexuality nor the fact I even owned a male, so she went into this relationship knowing all. She didn't accept it, she was gone. I am very clear on what's what-why lie? So I understand full well if someone who is lesbian wouldn't serve Me.

As a bisexual, I believe that a femmeslave would feel like there is competition with the male dynamic in the relationship. For Me, that wouldn't be the case but very few would know that. Gender aside, a slave is a slave when it comes to SERVICE (of course, play is another matter I won't go into). However: I believe that it would be MORE advantagous as the female; I UNDERSTAND cramps, menopause (all the damned well) etc that we females go through. Many men have no clues, don't understand, and can't relate. On that level, a FemmeDomme would probably be more relatable (is this a word? LOL)

I also believe that a female might misunderstand My intentions. I am not looking for a sexual partner for My husband nor My male slave. In fact, My husband has nothing to do with My lifestyle-he USED to-but no more. And as far as My male is concerned, he is fine with a female (naturally) but is also accepting of the fact he might never see Me play with My girl nor would he be involved. The possiblility ALWAYS exists there would be interplay. But NO orgies (awww...). Sex is personal. I just want us all to get along ;)

Does anyone else feel that bisexuality changes things?

_____________________________

When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow www.mobiusmetals.webs.com

So many toys-so little flesh...

(in reply to beth314)

Post #: 18

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 11:16:54 AM

MistressAinCT

Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

********If your sub is doing your laundry and dishes, what are you contributing to the household chores? Do you do the lawn care? Snow shoveling? Anything? Because although I'm doing all the traditional female stuff, he does the traditional male stuff. If I had to do all of it while he lay around, I would be angry and resentful, not to mention too tired at night for sex or play. And too broke from paying a garage two hours work for fixing the car to buy anything good for dinner or any new toys.********

What am *I* contributing? I see you feel that you are equals with your Master. I don't agree but that's My opinion. What if he doesn't fix the garage but you still make dinner?

I do mow the lawn, shovel snow, drive My daughter around, feed and walk the dogs, clean the house, do laundry etc. I fix machines, change light bulbs, pump My own gas. If you are going to label what Male and Female jobs are, then you are going to have more than just D/s people on your case. I do what I do NOT because its MY FEMALE duty to, but because I love My family. Do I enjoy these things? Not all the time and yes, I need help. My maleslave does what he can, and no, he doesn't expect anything in return.

The slave I'm seeking-ideally-will do what she can to make My life easier and not expect anything in return. The moment she says "and what's in it for me?" I know she isn't the one for Me. Believe it or not there ARE slaves both male and female who serve because they were born to do it and they love it without expecting anything in return except maybe some affection and appreciation, all I am very happy to supply.

If its your opinion to say "if Master does these jobs I will do the other ones" then that's fine and it works for you-GREAT. But is isn't for Me and not what I'm looking for.

_____________________________

When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow www.mobiusmetals.webs.com

So many toys-so little flesh...

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 19

RE: Question for Female slaves - 1/22/2009 11:24:07 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

As a dominant woman only interested in a female, I don't necessarily feel that it is service that is an issue. Moreso overall compatibility and priorities of compatibilities. I also prefer to spend alot of time getting to know a person, as a person, before I seriously begin to focus on their potential as a slave or submissive in my life.

By the time a woman even got close enough to my sofa to think of sitting on it, she would not only be submissive to ME, but also whether or not there was coffee, how I liked it, when I wanted it, and whether or not she was allowed any. Not because of any ubersuperdommeness on my part, just choosiness about who walks through the door into my home. After 10 years online, only 4 women have been there. Two before I began to explore a M/s power exchange type relationship.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MistressAinCT)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Question for Female slaves

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.141