Question for Female slaves

Question for Female slaves (Full Version)

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MistressAinCT -> Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 5:48:50 AM)
I am curious about something, and this q really goes out to femmeslaves who serve FemmeDommes more than anyone else, but I am curious about what all think. I noticed that on serveral profiles for female slaves who serve MaleDoms, they seem to take care of thing for their Masters...daily chores, the well being of their Dominants as well as serve their Master's other desires whether they be masochistic and sexual. However, I find it very difficult as a FemmeDomme to find a femmeslave who wants to be owned in that fashion-serve OUTSIDE the "dungeon" or play. In other words: service. Before anyone criticizes My profile-and I know you all will-note that I am frustrated as most are with the wannabees and fakes on CM who only want the play, and think BDSM is a way to get off and not a lifestyle. So while it might seem harsh, the reality of it is, its what I am looking for. And I'm not looking for suggestions on how to change it, thanks anyway. So here is the question: is it the female mindset that a man needs to be cared for but a FemmeDomme can take care of herself? That as a woman, the FemmeDomme should be able to take care of daily tasks HERSELF as women "should" and therefore doesn't need a female slave to assist? I actually have found males to be more compliant to serve than females are, and I just need to know if its a gender thing, a sexual thing (are FemmeDommes looked at as more like sexual beings?) or even as a "Mother" type being (I get "kids" asking to come serve..but what they really want is a mommy). I can find a female plaything in a hearbeat, but its difficult to find the entire package. Maybe its My location-I don't know-but I think its an interesting dynamic to explore: does gender make a difference when it comes to a female serving a Dominant? I look forward to the answers.

jen182 -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 5:52:19 AM)
to me Male or Female deserve the same treatment the full package

starshineowned -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 5:53:45 AM)
quote: My profile-and I know you all will-note that I am frustrated as most are with the wannabees and fakes on CM who only want the play, and think BDSM is a way to get off and not a lifestyle. Greetings.. To my understanding Ma'am...BDSM is about "play and getting off by doing diverse things not considered of the normal". Elements can be integrated into a dynamic for whatever purpose the persons involved choose..but BDSM is not the dynamic which produces the lifestyle. The D/s and M/s or Poly does that. Well Wishes starshine

MistressAinCT -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 6:16:40 AM)
I should mention that yes, I am seeking a D/s relationship and I do make that clear in the profile-I am probably one of those who use the term BDSM to encompass what we do, and I should be clearer. Of course its a relationship thing-I wouldn't as someone I was just merely playing with to walk My dogs or empty My dishwasher. I would expect and think a slave who is SERVING Me in a collared/ Ds relationship to do what I ask. Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required?

rubberpet -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 6:28:37 AM)
While I'm not a female, I am, however, a collared slave to an absolutely wonderful domme. My mindset is to take care of things for her so she isn't bothered and inconvenienced by trivial or mundane everyday tasks, unless she decides to do them. I love doing things for her and aim to make her life as easy and pleasant as I can make it. I am a believer in Female Supremacy and happily accept the general notion that women rule and boys drool. LOL I am not submissive to any man, so that mindset is out of the question. I guess what I'm trying to say is that slaves usually cater to the dominant opposite sex because of the primal need to care for their partner. Women typically want to care for their man like the stereotypical 1950s subservient wife thing, while men want to typically care for the woman they love like in the days of chivalry and knights and queens. I guess female slaves look at female dominants as a way to explore the other side of things, get their rocks off, and go back to the other side of "normalcy". Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 6:34:56 AM)
I am who I am, and that is a service-oriented, kinky, submissive woman. Were I oriented and inclined to seek a relationship with a female dominant, I would seek a relationship where all that I am could be fulfilled, including my need to serve. Kink, submission and service aren't always a package deal. There are plenty of submissives who post here who will tell you that they are submissive and kinky, but are not service-oriented. So you must be encountering submissives who aren't wired for service, or they don't express it within a relationship.

thishereboi -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 7:11:48 AM)
Responses in red - quote: ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT I am curious about something, and this q really goes out to femmeslaves who serve FemmeDommes more than anyone else, but I am curious about what all think. I noticed that on serveral profiles for female slaves who serve MaleDoms, they seem to take care of thing for their Masters...daily chores, the well being of their Dominants as well as serve their Master's other desires whether they be masochistic and sexual. However, I find it very difficult as a FemmeDomme to find a femmeslave who wants to be owned in that fashion-serve OUTSIDE the "dungeon" or play. In other words: service. Before anyone criticizes My profile-and I know you all will-note that I am frustrated as most are with the wannabees and fakes on CM who only want the play, and think BDSM is a way to get off and not a lifestyle. So while it might seem harsh, the reality of it is, its what I am looking for. And I'm not looking for suggestions on how to change it, thanks anyway. Your profile states what your looking for. I don't see anything wrong with that. So here is the question: is it the female mindset that a man needs to be cared for but a FemmeDomme can take care of herself? Actually I think a FemmeDomme might need more looking after than a male. That as a woman, the FemmeDomme should be able to take care of daily tasks HERSELF as women "should" and therefore doesn't need a female slave to assist? Yes my ex Mistress could take care of the daily tasks, but I never thought she should have to. (well ok to be honest at that point she really couldn't cook and yes at her age she should have been able to, but she can now so it's all good) I actually have found males to be more compliant to serve than females are, and I just need to know if its a gender thing, a sexual thing (are FemmeDommes looked at as more like sexual beings?) or even as a "Mother" type being (I get "kids" asking to come serve..but what they really want is a mommy). While most of the males I know in real life are very capable, judging from the amount of posts on here whining about not being able to find one makes me wonder. I think that is more an internet thing. Of course I have never looked for a male online so I can't say for sure. I can find a female plaything in a hearbeat, but its difficult to find the entire package. Maybe its My location-I don't know-but I think its an interesting dynamic to explore: does gender make a difference when it comes to a female serving a Dominant? While I have been topped by a male, I have no desire to serve one. So I guess yes, gender does make a difference to me in that respect. I wish you luck in your search. I look forward to the answers.

thishereboi -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 7:13:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT I should mention that yes, I am seeking a D/s relationship and I do make that clear in the profile-I am probably one of those who use the term BDSM to encompass what we do, and I should be clearer. Of course its a relationship thing-I wouldn't as someone I was just merely playing with to walk My dogs or empty My dishwasher. I would expect and think a slave who is SERVING Me in a collared/ Ds relationship to do what I ask. Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required? OMG...you have a dishwasher? Mine didn't even have a stove. Of course that meant less pans to wash, but still.

NuevaVida -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 7:58:57 AM)
I'm not a fan of housework, but in serving my former master, anything I did for him was because of my feelings for him and the connection I had with him - I wanted to do whatever would make him happy. So, it wasn't a "service kink", it was a "master kink". I am not implying this to be the case for you, but I see a lot of people talk about how they can't find someone to do domestic stuff for them, and I always wonder if that's because they have not yet developed the connection and mindset in their slave to receive such service without hesitation. Perhaps that's ignorance on my part and I'll concede to that if it is, but it's where my thoughts fall on the topic. I had a male pet for a time who was local to me, and who jumped at the idea of cleaning my apartment. chauffeuring me to the airport, shopping for me, etc. He said he didnt particularly LIKE doing those things, but doing them for ME is what made them enjoyable. Again, that is just my personal experience. It may be much different for others.

MommyFiercest -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 8:07:09 AM)
Correction-Straight people tend to want to cater to people of the "opposite sex". NOT everyone is staight.

starshineowned -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 8:14:00 AM)
quote: Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required? I'm not sure Anyone Male Dom or Fem Dom is deserving of anything until they find a person who wishes and feels that they deserve what it is the Dominant is asking for. There are probably just as many female slaves who are owned by Masters who are the sexual beasts only or public persona, and they hire a maid to clean. Maybe its a cultural thing somewhere in there that most females were raised to think housework was their dept. and not a Mans, and maybe even some feel they do it better or more efficient than a Man due to training more in it growing up. Maybe they feel with a Fem Dom that she to..is capable of doing house chores ..meaning that the desire or urgency with a Fem Dom versus a Master isn't quite as strong or rewarding. starshine

VampiresLair -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 8:27:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT Be that as it may, I'm not sure you answered the question. Don't FemmeDommes deserve the same treatment as MaleDoms as far as female service is concerned if that is what is required? When I have been in actual relationships with femsubs, they have been every bit as attentive to me as they would have been a male. The whole point is that you have to be in a relationship with them. Just like finding a male sub who is the full package right off, its hit and miss. Getting what you want usually takes the time to build a relationship before they will happily serve. Insta-sub always come with catchs, male and female. Once you build the relationship, you will be able to get the service you want based on that relationship, not on expectations of that persons position. DV

feydeplume -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 8:41:56 AM)
Does gender make a difference when it comes to a female serving a Dominant? Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe it has more to do with the sexual desires/ orientation of the sub and their ideas about the perfect life. Many of the subs looking to serve one (only and ever) male are also looking to have children and desire to BE a 1950's housewife in as many ways as possible. Implied in most of their profiles is their desire to not work outside the home and a promise to make it worth their Masters while to be the sole bread winner. For many this is the fantasy, even if it is rarely the reality. I think (notice the word think there) that many bi or homosexual women have to give up that socially fostered fantasy to accept their sexuality, and in that mental shift, they have to de-eroticize housework, wearing an apron etc. They have to embrace other female roles and because none of us are Superwoman, they have to let some skills lapse to work on others. So they either don't make the link between chores and sexual/emotional fulfillment or purposely supress or break that link. I would think that this is more true for women that come to their sexuality latter in life because they have spend years already cooking and cleaning for someone that couldn't fulfill them and the acts invariably get linked to being unfulfilled and unhappy. I would guess that they would be resistant to going back into that role, unless they slowly relearned that link between day to day life and sexual/emotional fulfillment. I may be wildly off on ALL of this, but I don't think it is some "lack" or expectation of the D, but rather something social and personal to the s

Lashra -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 8:42:26 AM)
It simply depends upon the Female in question. I have had a few Female slaves offer sex, service and total obedience, males as well have offered this. While others of both genders have jumped at the kinky sex. It just depends upon who you are speaking too. I think many Female slaves do so much housework because it usually is a requirement for them in a M/f relationship. Many do not like to do housework (although some thrive on it) but they do it as it is part of the dynamic. My male sub loves to do housework and if he could stay home and be a house husband he would surely do so. Perhaps when I hit the mega millions he can fulfill that dream. [:D] ~Lashra

MistressAinCT -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 8:52:56 AM)
For Me, the job of a slave of either gender is to make My life easier. In turn, the slave will get what s/he wants or needs. I don't care WHAT people might say, D/s IS a mutual thing in many respects. People should get what they need and deserve just like in the nilla world. Does it always happen? Unfortunately no, but we do strive for that perfection. I just will not be the one giving more than I receive. I wouldn't expect to tattoo, pierce or even collar a slave (not in that particular order, btw) right off the bat: they have to earn that right. By the same token, I should earn their respect as well (yeah, and anyone who says a Dominant doesn't earn respect I think has issues, but that's MHO) -I don't expect IMMEDIATE gratification BUT what I DO expect is that if someone comes to Me and says they are ready to SERVE, they SERVE. And they SERVE first before there is anything physical. I had a femmeslave come to My house, sit on the couch and ask, "is there coffee?". I told her she needs to buy a coffee machine for Me she could work, make it for herself and one for Me, too. Needless to say I also showed her the door. This is a person who swore up and down, six ways from Sunday she was a service oriented person. Apparently she meant HER being served. She wondered why I let her go, if it was something she did. I told her it was something she didn't do. I am sure to this day she hasn't a clue. I find the diverse answers here very interesting. I know its possible to find service oriented people because I have seen it personally. I know that CM is probably NOT the ideal place because any jerk with a keyboard can be anything they want here (or anywhere else) so who knows what's really what. I shall keep trying, as I figure that every pot has a lid somewhere..just might take more time than I would like ( I could use a slave to sift through My pots to find the lids!). Hopefully, it will be worth it. Keep posting, its interesting!

beth314 -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 9:12:46 AM)
Maam, your demands are not unreasonable at all. Many who call themselves slaves are only interested in the sexual part of the dynamic and then there are others who desire the security and safety of finding the ONE who they can trust enough to give 100% of themselves, body, mind and soul. It is just as frustrating for the unowned lesbian slaves, who find that decision making and the responsibilities of dealing with life in general overwhelming. At times it feels as though we are just stumbling through life or enduring it until the Domme comes along and we can attend to the things we were created to do...serve our Domme, however she sees fit. I can say "we" because I do know others who feel the same way I do.Truth be known, many of us are bombarded by Doms and Dommes who are seeking a "playdate" and are arent interested in ownership. In another thread, someone wrote that slaves are entitled to choose who they want to be with, because it is ultimately their last choice of anything. I agree with that and surely you can understand what kind of pressure that is for a slave who would preferably have someone else make her decisions for her?

DesFIP -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 11:02:16 AM)
You're missing out on what a male dom may be giving his female sub. Yesterday The Man fixed the driver's seat in the car which wasn't locking into position. I made dinner and cleaned up while he was doing this. He gets out the ladder and changes the bulbs above my height, being as he's above six feet he can frequently change these without a ladder but he can carry the ladder by himself and I can't. If your sub is doing your laundry and dishes, what are you contributing to the household chores? Do you do the lawn care? Snow shoveling? Anything? Because although I'm doing all the traditional female stuff, he does the traditional male stuff. If I had to do all of it while he lay around, I would be angry and resentful, not to mention too tired at night for sex or play. And too broke from paying a garage two hours work for fixing the car to buy anything good for dinner or any new toys. Male/female/trans/sub/dom/switch doesn't matter. There are only so many hours in a day and lots of chores needing to be done. Either we share them or we get resentful.

MistressAinCT -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 11:08:20 AM)
I have to say, beth, that it had occured to Me that perhaps it is My bisexuality that gives femmeslaves pause. I know many lesbian Domina who own female slaves, and they get service. Maybe that's because they can identify with each other better on the "sex"ual level. The slave I spoke of in a previous post was lesbian-butch. She did NOT like men at all and did NOT get along with My male slave. The thing is, I did NOT hide My sexuality nor the fact I even owned a male, so she went into this relationship knowing all. She didn't accept it, she was gone. I am very clear on what's what-why lie? So I understand full well if someone who is lesbian wouldn't serve Me. As a bisexual, I believe that a femmeslave would feel like there is competition with the male dynamic in the relationship. For Me, that wouldn't be the case but very few would know that. Gender aside, a slave is a slave when it comes to SERVICE (of course, play is another matter I won't go into). However: I believe that it would be MORE advantagous as the female; I UNDERSTAND cramps, menopause (all the damned well) etc that we females go through. Many men have no clues, don't understand, and can't relate. On that level, a FemmeDomme would probably be more relatable (is this a word? LOL) I also believe that a female might misunderstand My intentions. I am not looking for a sexual partner for My husband nor My male slave. In fact, My husband has nothing to do with My lifestyle-he USED to-but no more. And as far as My male is concerned, he is fine with a female (naturally) but is also accepting of the fact he might never see Me play with My girl nor would he be involved. The possiblility ALWAYS exists there would be interplay. But NO orgies (awww...). Sex is personal. I just want us all to get along ;) Does anyone else feel that bisexuality changes things?

MistressAinCT -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 11:16:54 AM)
******If your sub is doing your laundry and dishes, what are you contributing to the household chores? Do you do the lawn care? Snow shoveling? Anything? Because although I'm doing all the traditional female stuff, he does the traditional male stuff. If I had to do all of it while he lay around, I would be angry and resentful, not to mention too tired at night for sex or play. And too broke from paying a garage two hours work for fixing the car to buy anything good for dinner or any new toys.****** What am I contributing? I see you feel that you are equals with your Master. I don't agree but that's My opinion. What if he doesn't fix the garage but you still make dinner? I do mow the lawn, shovel snow, drive My daughter around, feed and walk the dogs, clean the house, do laundry etc. I fix machines, change light bulbs, pump My own gas. If you are going to label what Male and Female jobs are, then you are going to have more than just D/s people on your case. I do what I do NOT because its MY FEMALE duty to, but because I love My family. Do I enjoy these things? Not all the time and yes, I need help. My maleslave does what he can, and no, he doesn't expect anything in return. The slave I'm seeking-ideally-will do what she can to make My life easier and not expect anything in return. The moment she says "and what's in it for me?" I know she isn't the one for Me. Believe it or not there ARE slaves both male and female who serve because they were born to do it and they love it without expecting anything in return except maybe some affection and appreciation, all I am very happy to supply. If its your opinion to say "if Master does these jobs I will do the other ones" then that's fine and it works for you-GREAT. But is isn't for Me and not what I'm looking for.

LaTigresse -> RE: Question for Female slaves (1/22/2009 11:24:07 AM)
As a dominant woman only interested in a female, I don't necessarily feel that it is service that is an issue. Moreso overall compatibility and priorities of compatibilities. I also prefer to spend alot of time getting to know a person, as a person, before I seriously begin to focus on their potential as a slave or submissive in my life. By the time a woman even got close enough to my sofa to think of sitting on it, she would not only be submissive to ME, but also whether or not there was coffee, how I liked it, when I wanted it, and whether or not she was allowed any. Not because of any ubersuperdommeness on my part, just choosiness about who walks through the door into my home. After 10 years online, only 4 women have been there. Two before I began to explore a M/s power exchange type relationship.

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