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examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 1:33:06 PM

ALAstella

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Imagine that you work in an office. You're working at your desk, doing your work. A colleague approaches you and informs you that your boss or line manager wants to see you immediately. This comes out of the blue.

So what do you do? What do you think? Do you speculate about the reason why your boss wants to see you? Are you calm? Confident? Worried?

Your boss or manager makes you wait whilst he's on the phone. You sit there, perhaps wondering what the reason could be? Finally they finish the call, put the phone down, and greet you with a smile. You have a promotion, or raise. How would you feel? What about the worry or stress you have been through?

Now think about other situations in your everyday life where you can find mindgames, and examples of sadism and masochism, but without BDSM, without kink, without any sexual overtones, but simply examples of sadism and masochism found in routine, humdrum, everyday events and circumstances.

What further examples can you think of? Describe? What further examples can you relate from your own experience?

The above examples of sadism and masochism are perhaps not very good, I am not a sadist, I am rubbish at masochism, but I'm just curious as to any other situations taken from everyday life which may involve interactions which may be perceived as sadomasochism. I'm sure there are many of you out there who can provide much better examples.

What are they?

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Post #: 1

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 1:59:24 PM

LaTigresse

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I had a pressman I simply LOVED to "council". He would get so upset that he would tremble and get teary eyed. I really had to be careful to keep a firm control of myself and not go beyond the reprimand he actually deserved.

My graphics guy is a typical employee of his age, background, education. A sense of entitlement tends to creep into his behaviour that irks the rest of us. I enjoy reminding him of his place in the big picture and that doing so often pisses him off or upsets him. We have guidelines. Quite often we can wiggle those guidelines around to help make an individual's life easier. The problem is when they expect it. Example 2 weeks prior notice for vacation requests. Yet he constantly seems to try and make last minute plans and expect to break that 2 week rule. Most of the time it isn't a problem but occasionally it is. I have to tell him no. It upsets him and he storms off. I enjoy it. Knowing that he made an assumption, his horrid, headcase of a wife made plans and expected him to do whatever he had to do to make it work and now he has to go placate her. (She used to work for me too. I had to fire her........I enjoyed that IMMENSELY!!!! And the unemployment hearing that followed also

)

I adore mental fucks, always have and always will. I have a disgust/love/fascination with people that seem to constantly set themselves up to be fucked with.

Growing up and maturing has meant that I have learned the boundaries of all of it rather than just indescriminately messing with people.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/22/2009 2:01:07 PM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 2

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:03:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Anything that requires "mingling" is an example of self masochism for me.

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Post #: 3

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:08:49 PM

jakelogan01

Posts: 71
Joined: 1/1/2004
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hehehe...i'm a professor...i make them suffer....every day...

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Post #: 4

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:10:09 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
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Sorry if what follows is a little too personal, but it's the first thing that sprang to my mind... In high school, I had a pulsating orgasm as I ran to my Spanish class holding an essay the writing of which I had left to the last minute. The turn-on from the fear that I might be late handing it in was that strong

. What a sick puppy I wa... am.

After that, there was no looking back. It's a mind fuck.

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Post #: 5

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:11:10 PM

DavanKael

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Public speaking for someone who fears it?
Davan

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Post #: 6

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:17:17 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Anything that requires "mingling" is an example of self masochism for me.

Funny, it tends to be a fantastic opportunity for sadism when I am not in the mood.....which is most of the time.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:23:48 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Sorry if what follows is a little too personal, but it's the first thing that sprang to my mind... In high school, I had a pulsating orgasm as I ran to my Spanish class holding an essay the writing of which I had left to the last minute. The turn-on from the fear that I might be late handing it in was that strong . What a sick puppy I wa... am.

After that, there was no looking back. It's a mind fuck.

Oh my gosh, this reminds me of how much I loved messing with the adults in my life that tried in vain to control me. I used to wait and turn really fantastic papers/projects in, a day late. They would get so upset because it would have been a perfect scoring paper but because it was a day late they would have to knock it down a grade.

Every teacher parent conference. "LeeAnn has SUCH potential but she just doesn't apply herself! We cannot understand how to motivate her!"

Little did they know that they were, just not in the direction they were hoping for. I found such perverse pleasure in tweaking one Mr Harter........So suave, such a flirt with all the female teachers and students, so loved. Except by evil little me. I just loved that confused look on his face when his charms fell flat.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 8

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:42:04 PM

jakelogan01

Posts: 71
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Sorry if what follows is a little too personal, but it's the first thing that sprang to my mind... In high school, I had a pulsating orgasm as I ran to my Spanish class holding an essay the writing of which I had left to the last minute. The turn-on from the fear that I might be late handing it in was that strong . What a sick puppy I wa... am.

After that, there was no looking back. It's a mind fuck.

hmmm...now i understand some of the smiles i get from students submitting (sic) their papers late...

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 9

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:43:10 PM

cjan

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I'm a massage therapist. One thing I've found , over the years, is that, invariably, the clients who have asked for and enjoyed the most pressure during a massage have been women...rather small, thin women. I especially remember one who was a regular client of mine for years. I don't think she weighed 100 lbs.. She demanded and got more pressure than any other client of mine, ever, and I have made big guys whimper. Don't get me wrong, I think that too much pressure is counterproductive, but, every now and then, I get clients that simply enjoy a great deal of pressure. I know it must be hurting. Anyway, during one session, I jokingly said to this woman, "you know, there is a surcharge for masochists". She just laughed and replied, "well, don't add a surcharge because you haven't hurt me yet, and I always expect to get what I pay for". She used to really wear me out.

< Message edited by cjan -- 1/22/2009 2:45:17 PM >

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 10

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 2:43:46 PM

Lockit

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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Would having a boss like you discribe Stella... mean I was a paid/pro submissive?

My brain damaged adult son... can't put his clothes on right without help most of the time... but hand him a remote car and he finds a way to chase cats. He loves cats too!

Call a cable company or government office.. you are asking for a beating and you will get one. I don't care how much you pay them... you are going to get it up the ass for the most part.

But I do have to say... marriage to the wrong person and parenting are some of the most complete examples of sadism and masochism I know of. Pick a day to see which is which.

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Post #: 11

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 3:02:29 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan
I don't think she weighed 100 lbs.. She demanded and got more pressure than any other client of mine, ever, and I have made big guys whimper.

CJ - have you read Tennessee William's short story, Desire and the Black Masseur? If not, I order you to go and read it this instant *stomp*.

_____________________________

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Post #: 12

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 3:18:33 PM

bound4more

Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ALAstella

Imagine that you work in an office. You're working at your desk, doing your work. A colleague approaches you and informs you that your boss or line manager wants to see you immediately. This comes out of the blue.

So what do you do? What do you think? Do you speculate about the reason why your boss wants to see you? Are you calm? Confident? Worried?

Your boss or manager makes you wait whilst he's on the phone. You sit there, perhaps wondering what the reason could be? Finally they finish the call, put the phone down, and greet you with a smile. You have a promotion, or raise. How would you feel? What about the worry or stress you have been through?

Now think about other situations in your everyday life where you can find mindgames, and examples of sadism and masochism, but without BDSM, without kink, without any sexual overtones, but simply examples of sadism and masochism found in routine, humdrum, everyday events and circumstances.

What further examples can you think of? Describe? What further examples can you relate from your own experience?

The above examples of sadism and masochism are perhaps not very good, I am not a sadist, I am rubbish at masochism, but I'm just curious as to any other situations taken from everyday life which may involve interactions which may be perceived as sadomasochism. I'm sure there are many of you out there who can provide much better examples.

What are they?

Hmmmm - you know - I don't see the examples you supplied as necessarily having anything to do with sadomasochism - I suppose if we want to think of them way, well, why not. But, I just see them as situations that we can make something out of or not, if we choose to. I'd simply go into my boss's office, wait patiently and then say why thank you when I was informed I received a raise. Sorry - this doesn't seem sadomasochistic to me - guess with a stretch of the imagination it could be - just like the guy on the freeway who won't let me change lanes. But then I've always been told that I'm very literal. I thought they meant literate - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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(in reply to ALAstella)

Post #: 13

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 3:26:23 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

I'm a massage therapist. One thing I've found , over the years, is that, invariably, the clients who have asked for and enjoyed the most pressure during a massage have been women...rather small, thin women. I especially remember one who was a regular client of mine for years. I don't think she weighed 100 lbs.. She demanded and got more pressure than any other client of mine, ever, and I have made big guys whimper. Don't get me wrong, I think that too much pressure is counterproductive, but, every now and then, I get clients that simply enjoy a great deal of pressure. I know it must be hurting. Anyway, during one session, I jokingly said to this woman, "you know, there is a surcharge for masochists". She just laughed and replied, "well, don't add a surcharge because you haven't hurt me yet, and I always expect to get what I pay for". She used to really wear me out.

Lol, Cjan, I'm one of those females of whom you speak. :> So, I suppose that would make my massage practitioner (Also a friend and a small female) something of a sadist as that little girl can put a hurtin' on me and she knows it!

I think that to be a physical therapist or a dentist, one must have a sadistic streak, though I've wondered if a people who aren't sadists going into the dental profession is one of the reasons for a high suicide rate.

My acupuncturist gets a particular look on her face when she's going to do something that hurts and laughs at me and calls me a wimp when I move a body part because I've caught her with 'that look' on her face.

Can't forget my chiropractor who I tell people "does horrible things to me and makes me feel better". I hate the popping and cracking, hate it! But, I can't argue with the results and I trust him not to damage me.

And, I guess I'd have to admit that there would have to be a bit of hopefully productive sadism and masochism in my own profession, counseling.

Interesting...I'd say there's a fair bit of S&M in the helping professions at large. Thanks for provoking the thought, Cjan. :>
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 1/22/2009 3:30:55 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 14

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 4:14:27 PM

Petruchio

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Most of the descriptions are vicarious or indirect, but I practiced direct BDSM, which grew harder and riskier as restrictive employee laws went into effect.

Early in my career, I had an employee come onto me. After a spanking for 'insubordination', we entered into an affair. This scenario happened again in a similar situation with a colleague.

One of the sexiest encounters was limited but exciting. The marketing manager was a slim blonde and very conservative. Our chemistry was obvious but low key; we stopped and chatted and flirted a little. One day I was eating M&Ms when she stopped in to say hi. I offered her an M&M and she ate it from my fingers. After a couple more, I held out a few in my palm and we joked about her eating out of my hand. It was very sexy holding out my hand like I was feeding oats to a horse. A few days later, she draped over my knee with her skirt up and pantyhose down.

Other than fondling, we didn't have a sexual affair, but the d/s relationship was very sexy.

(in reply to bound4more)

Post #: 15

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 4:28:22 PM

feydeplume

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my nurse practitioner and i used to go to the same munch and i have to say, i sorta wondered what she was thinking when she would strap the arm cuff thingy on me and inflate it until my hand went numb.

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Post #: 16

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 5:04:31 PM

LordDarkPleasure

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I once broke my ankle while playing Volleyball. I had to go to the hospital in my sports outfit, which was kind of tight. The nurse started hitting on me, at one point saying that some people like knowing that others are hurting and then asked me if I was hurting... followed by if there are kinds of pain I enjoy...real subtle!

I closed the conversation and kept to myself, but now that I think of it, that could have been the greatest fantasy of some people in here, a sadistic nurse unafraid of hitting on patients...

Besides that during my internship I was working for really high ranking people, and my supervisor would always try to scare me by telling me my boss wants to see me and he was angry, but I'd always only give a pragmatic "oh, really?" and she'd get disappointed.... Sorry, I know how to cover my ass, and I wouldn't be responsible for whatever pissed him off!

(in reply to feydeplume)

Post #: 17

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 6:12:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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CJ what can I do to get you here for a weekend? One of my goals this year is to find an appropriately sadistic masseuse who will finally and thoroughly work out ALL the tension and knots in my shoulders and enjoy all the crying I do through it.

I can find decent massuers, I can find sadists, but I haven't found the right mix who will just keep going for just the right reasons....

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LordDarkPleasure)

Post #: 18

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 6:23:11 PM

windchymes

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Be careful what you wish for. A week ago, I had a full-body massage at a local school, and my frail little about-to-graduate masseuse asked if I wanted light, medium or firm pressure. Now, I also like it really hard, dig the knots out, please, you can't hurt me! So I said firm, thinking to myself, yeah right.

That little thing was the first one ever to break me down! It was the first time I ever told someone to back off, I had tears in my eyes, and actually didn't leave there relaxed because I was grimacing and bracing myself for the next onslaught.

The females seem to have such sharp fingers and elbows...I'd rather have a big, meaty-handed guy do it.

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Post #: 19

RE: examples of sadomasochism found in wider society - 1/22/2009 6:27:16 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I WANT tears in my eyes, I want them streaming down my face. I've only ever once since graduating high school had loose shoulders and that was after nearly two straight days of hard and heavy massage- and then it was only the one side! The other was a mass of solid stubborn muscle.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 20

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