LadyLou
Posts: 110
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
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SubforLTR,
There are lots of 'academies' who will happily take your money, and 'train' you, and you will probably get a kick out of it and enjoy yourself. The training you will receive will be worth practically nothing in real life, rounded personal D/s-BDSM relationships. Most of these academies are catering to that fast-track desire of quick submission. The ones I have seen are glorified interactive porn entertainment programs catered to the sub male, with the fancy title of 'training'.
I doubt any of these programs will prepare you for real time D/s-BDSM relationships (assuming that is what you seek). People are highly individual in their desires, and most dominant woman will teach you their desires – i.e, train you. D/s-BDSM relationships are no different to any other personal relationship in that you develop a rapport/bond/trust/affection/love etc with another human being – you can't buy that, or be trained for it. Having basic social skills and a desire to submit the 'right' lady will prepare you enough for that sort of thing.
The thing I recommend you do – and I am making the huge assumption that you are looking for more than the occasional kinky-beating – is forget your notions of homogenised 'training'; being blunt, you coming across as a fantasist. Get your head out of the erotic-fantasy clouds, people live this lifestyle for real; separate the fantasy from the reality. For a lot of ladies here, this lifestyle is about more than getting a submissive man off by beating him.
Seek friendships with like minded folk, get to know people, try your local BDSM community, don't shape your relationship goals on BDSM porn, try to understand your target audience. Most importantly, take time to get to know yourself and others. There is no quick solution, personal relationships can't be bought, nor can self awareness. I was lucky enough to meet the man I love, a wonderful male submissive, after only a few weeks of being here on CollarMe, but the relationship part didn't happen overnight, these things take time, effort and personal emotional investment.
RedMagic made the excellent suggestion of learning a few popular skills sets highly sort after in male subs – this will add to your desirability. It was a little bit more than “practical advise”, as a lot of sub males have a hard time in their search. Compatibility is more than “very important for success”, it is essential. There is a heck of a lot more to D/s-BDSM relationships than you just being submissive (and a dominant just being dominant).
If you genuinely need the threat of a beating to 'be' submissive (and this isn't just wanker-speech), then I feel you are going to have a hard time finding what you seek. Most people don't want to have to beat their submissive partners just to assert authority and to inspire your obedience – very few want constant power struggles in a D/s-BDSM relationship.
But if all you seek is a bit of kinky play and the occasional beating (and there is nothing wrong with that), then throwing money about, and taking part in 'training' programs will most probably be your fastest and easiest option.
Either way, have fun.
< Message edited by LadyLou -- 1/23/2009 4:13:48 AM >
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