how to tell a Dom im not interested

how to tell a Dom im not interested (Full Version)

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lovehurtsattimes -> how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 8:48:15 AM)
i have been talking to and meeting several doms i think i know which one is the best match for me now that i have gotten to know each of them, the one Dom though seems very attatched to me recently and He is not the one that i believe is a good match, dont get me wrong He is a good guy and all but we are not into the same things and he has some anger issues that make me feel a little uneasy, so question is, how do i tell Him that i have made my desicion and chose to go with Someone else?

CalifChick -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 8:50:09 AM)
"I don't feel we are a good match at this time in our lives, but I appreciate the interest you have shown in me. I hope you find what you're looking for." Don't argue the point, don't explain yourself, just keep repeating yourself as necessary. If you say "you have anger issues", he will just argue the point with you. Cali

littlewonder -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 8:53:15 AM)
Just say "it has been nice getting to know you but I just don't feel we are compatible. I wish you the best of luck in your search though."

LaTigresse -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 8:57:08 AM)
I would MUCH rather someone just tell me the truth immediately. No sugar coating necessary, no beating around the bush (just typing that made me smile). Just tell me how you really feel. If he doesn't like it, it is his problem, not yours.

SassySarijane -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 8:59:18 AM)
Keep it simple. Just tell him you don't think you are a compatible match. I wouldn't overexplain nor let him push you into continued contact with whys, etc. if he starts that. If he reacts badly or gets pushy, I'd simply cut all contact permanently. Block, delete, move on. my 2 little pennies.

lovehurtsattimes -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:14:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick "I don't feel we are a good match at this time in our lives, but I appreciate the interest you have shown in me. I hope you find what you're looking for." Don't argue the point, don't explain yourself, just keep repeating yourself as necessary. If you say "you have anger issues", he will just argue the point with you. Cali thank you for your help...i will make sure not to bring up the anger issues

lovehurtsattimes -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:15:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Just say "it has been nice getting to know you but I just don't feel we are compatible. I wish you the best of luck in your search though." short sweet and straight to the point thank you

lovehurtsattimes -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:17:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I would MUCH rather someone just tell me the truth immediately. No sugar coating necessary, no beating around the bush (just typing that made me smile). Just tell me how you really feel. If he doesn't like it, it is his problem, not yours. i understand that beating around the bush is bad, as is sugar coating but at the same time i dont want to hurt his feelings. but i think the best way to go will be the quick to the point route. thank you for your help

lovehurtsattimes -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:19:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SassySarijane Keep it simple. Just tell him you don't think you are a compatible match. I wouldn't overexplain nor let him push you into continued contact with whys, etc. if he starts that. If he reacts badly or gets pushy, I'd simply cut all contact permanently. Block, delete, move on. my 2 little pennies. yes, short and simple seems to be the best way to go, i shouldnt need to explain as i told him from the start i was talking to multiple Doms at once, hopefully it dont get too ugly but block delete and move on might just be what needs done thank you

myotherself -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:23:45 AM)
I agree with all the other posters. Just bear in mind you owe him nothing. He knows you were looking and he was one of several under consideration. If he gives you any kind of grief, just walk away. Don't look back. And it's great that you're listening to your 'inner voice' warning you about his anger issues [:)]

lovehurtsattimes -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:30:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself I agree with all the other posters. Just bear in mind you owe him nothing. He knows you were looking and he was one of several under consideration. If he gives you any kind of grief, just walk away. Don't look back. And it's great that you're listening to your 'inner voice' warning you about his anger issues [:)] thats my theory never look back.

VeryNastyDom -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:30:42 AM)
There is nothing wrong with "Thanks for taking the time to meet with me. You seem like a wonderful person, but I have met someone else who I think I will be more compatible with. Best of luck in finding the submissive of your dreams." Just don't leave it hanging with an indefiinite "but if things don't work out maybe we can talk again" unless you really mean it. That creates false hopes and invites him to contact you further.

littleone35 -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 9:36:34 AM)
I agree with most of the others keep it short and simple. I will add however that if he has anger issues you may want to do this in a public place just for your own safety. If he gets very angry the others around will be your safety net. Matt's littleone

YourhandMyAss -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 10:50:08 AM)
What is wrong with the plain and simple and strait forward truth. Thank you for the opertunity to have gotten to know you, but I don't believe you're a good match for me. If he has anger issues tell him in public, in a safe spot with lots of people. Why do people have to complicate, what is kind of easy. quote: ORIGINAL: lovehurtsattimes i have been talking to and meeting several doms i think i know which one is the best match for me now that i have gotten to know each of them, the one Dom though seems very attatched to me recently and He is not the one that i believe is a good match, dont get me wrong He is a good guy and all but we are not into the same things and he has some anger issues that make me feel a little uneasy, so question is, how do i tell Him that i have made my desicion and chose to go with Someone else?

LaTigresse -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 11:27:12 AM)
Some people do not like to hurt others, regardless of the message. She also may just purely be afraid of his reaction. Given some of the behaviour I've seen, and heard about........I cannot say that I blame her.

CallMePatches -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 11:30:32 AM)
Politely. When, for whatever reason, someone offers me an invitation for anything. Be it play, a relationship, or even just chatting....I'm sure to thank them for that ivitation and tell them at this time I can't or won't be part of whatever is going on and wish them luck on thier search and journey. Not everyone is going to become a part of your life. People realize that. I would keep in mind though that the person you turn down today may be your absolute match in time. Don't burn bridges by being rude.

GoddessTeaze -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 12:58:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovehurtsattimes i have been talking to and meeting several doms i think i know which one is the best match for me now that i have gotten to know each of them, the one Dom though seems very attatched to me recently and He is not the one that i believe is a good match, dont get me wrong He is a good guy and all but we are not into the same things and he has some anger issues that make me feel a little uneasy, so question is, how do i tell Him that i have made my desicion and chose to go with Someone else? Think how it would b when the roles would be reversed.. how would you want to hear it? That's the right way lovehurtsattimes. Better spill the beans. Goodluck GoddezzT`

tornaway -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 1:12:48 PM)
Direct , to the point , polite, respectful . Works well no matter what your station , or who you're giving a "no thank you" to . Often , as has been suggested earlier - in this case , mentioning you met someone else that really clicked , is helpful when you wish to close the door abit more firmly . Good luck !

YourhandMyAss -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 6:56:43 PM)
LA, that is true, I've seen some people fly into a rage, at the simplest email that was supposed to be friendly and then, this sweet social person on the boards is like a crazy loony out of some horror movie in private lol. quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Some people do not like to hurt others, regardless of the message. She also may just purely be afraid of his reaction. Given some of the behaviour I've seen, and heard about........I cannot say that I blame her.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: how to tell a Dom im not interested (1/23/2009 7:53:15 PM)
I am blunt..tell them you wold not consider them for a Dominant as he is not a good match for you..if he gets rude tell him to sod off.

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