RE: Paying (Full Version)

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OneMoreWaste -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 6:49:09 AM)

No such luck [:o]



antipode -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 7:14:56 AM)

I tend to insist on paying. With some, I have had this recurring discussion that they don't want that, that it creates an obligation. My answer is invariably the same - a sub is entertainment to me, and I have a budget for that. NSA. Usually does the trick.



feydeplume -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 9:13:03 AM)

Generally, over 14 years, he controls the money. It is a serious trust thing and was really challenging for me after being radically taken advantage of by a previous D. It was one the scariest and hardest things to just hand over my paycheck, money made from crafts or babysitting or consulting. After a few years, when it had become second nature and the damage healed with his trustworthiness and my facing the hurt, he started giving me money to do things. Like "go out with the girls (other subs and slaves) have a girls day out, buy yourself something to eat and drink, and if possible find something sexy to wear or something interesting to read. DO NOT spend the money on others, including me."

Turned out that was waaay harder than i had thought it would be and made for alot of second guessing. With the support of the other submissives and slaves (mixed genders by the way) and their gentle teasing and coaching, I learned to fulfill this whim and get quality social time with friend.



oceanwynds -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 9:33:04 AM)

I was reading through this thread and looking at the posts. It is good that there is not one ideal for a relationship. People are happy in either case of having someone pay for them or not. I don't think a Dom paying for everything really matters beyond the relationship, nor does it make them anymore special then one who doesnt.



SunNMoon -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 9:50:59 AM)

I pay or we go every other time (ie I pay then he pays). I always feel it a bit odd when someone treats me.



mc1234 -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 10:01:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

I was reading through this thread and looking at the posts. It is good that there is not one ideal for a relationship. People are happy in either case of having someone pay for them or not. I don't think a Dom paying for everything really matters beyond the relationship, nor does it make them anymore special then one who doesnt.



[sm=agree.gif]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 10:04:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Nope.  I'm often expected to provide service through money.
I love the way you say it...   Without making an type of service a dirty word.    M

Thanks!  That's really what it is to me- another opportunity to serve. 



malloves69 -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 10:32:51 AM)

being a submissive male i always pay for my lady [:)] after a great together often we do lunch afterwards and yes i always pay ..theres only 1 time per year when i dont and thats on my birthday [:)] flowers ..gifts ...lunches ..whatever it is i feel better when i pay for having her company i am honored she is there with me [:)] i feel its the mans responsibility to pay for his lady ..call me old fashion but thats one thing is mals not cheap [:)] men who dont pay = being cheap to me and why would she bother with them if they are cheap ...have fun ..mal



agirl -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 4:38:47 PM)

Nothing was ever agreed upon or discussed. If it's a few groceries then it isn't significant to him or me. Neither of us have any *feelings*attached to who's paying for what. As a rule, I don't even get a look-in, he forks out the lion's share......but he's not at all bothered about saying * Righto, you can get this lot*......lol

agirl



oceanwynds -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 4:46:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SunNMoon

I pay or we go every other time (ie I pay then he pays). I always feel it a bit odd when someone treats me.


I would feel odd, especially with how the economy is. Even if Sir was a millionair though, i would still feel delighted to be able to pay for things. To me it is a pleasure that I enjoy.



tkenslve -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 4:47:42 PM)

There have been very few times when my Master has asked me to pay, usually when He hasnt made it to the bank and has no cash on Him. The only thing i do pay for is my train ticket up to see Him, but that seems so small compared to what i receive in return.



oceanwynds -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 4:47:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

I was reading through this thread and looking at the posts. It is good that there is not one ideal for a relationship. People are happy in either case of having someone pay for them or not. I don't think a Dom paying for everything really matters beyond the relationship, nor does it make them anymore special then one who doesnt.



[sm=agree.gif]


Thanks:)



Gage46Bstn -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 5:13:26 PM)

I like to pay for everything, meals toys. I am in control. He is mine and taken care of.

Question for anyone: I don't know what the term money slave means? It could mean several different things. What is the most common definition when someone refers to themselves that way? Any help?



oceanwynds -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 5:42:13 PM)

Gage
I do not know, though Sir has mentioned about Doms requiring tributes, which he doesn't. It is good that you have your relationship the way you wish. Sir does too and I am grateful for that.

oceanwynds



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 6:56:50 PM)

When I am working, I make way more money than He does, so I pay as often as He will allow it.  I always ask permission to pick up the tab, or I offer to contribute to the bill, leave the tip..... something.  The offer is made, then He decides.

But over any span of time, we bounce back and forth.  He may pay for the movie tickets and I go get us some [sm=popcorn.gif] and a [sm=chug.gif].



trappedinamuseum -> RE: Paying (1/24/2009 7:16:50 PM)

It hasn't really come up, but I guess we are not in a real relationship....  The first time we met, he paid.  When I helped him clean his house, he bought me lunch.  But, if we ever went out again (on an actual date), I would try to pay.

I like being able to pay for things. 

If I suggest a meeting, I offer to pay.  I won't fight if he chooses to override or ignore my offer, but I want the offer to stand.



BitaTruble -> RE: Paying (1/25/2009 2:17:32 AM)

fr I'm not allowed to work outside the home, so he pays for everything. I make sure to keep his credit in tip top shape so he 'can' pay for everything.



NorthernGent -> RE: Paying (1/25/2009 4:33:09 AM)

A slightly different perspective.

For me, money/paying is purely utilitarian in nature: it's a means to an end, rather than a indication of due care. Consequently, I'm more than happy to split costs based on relative income; in my mind, this is the most useful approach.

I find expectations of being paid for and associating paying with care, to be extremely distasteful. I wouldn't go near a woman who expected to be paid for in a million years.

I do tend to pay more often than not, but were I to suspect that she was taking it for granted, then I'd find a way to bring her back down to earth.



Rayne58 -> RE: Paying (1/25/2009 9:31:12 PM)

We're a married couple and we each get the same amount every fortnight (disability and carers pensions).  Bills are split down the middle - He gives me His half in cash and I pay the bills through internet banking.  When we go grocery shopping together He will give me money to help pay (around half the total).  He pays for His own medications - there are a lot of those (I have paid for the last 3 items but I have permission to take the cost out of His wallet, but I haven't done so yet). 

When we go out for dinner or coffee we take turns to pay. 

I also know His PIN number.  He doesn't know mine (and doesn't want to, although I have offered to give it to Him).  The main reason I have it is so I can get money out of His account for Him when He is too ill to go out, or He's on the dialysis machine.



sparkyRBF -> RE: Paying (1/26/2009 11:41:12 AM)

All money earned goes into accounts we both have access too.  I'm free to take money out as it is needed, groceries, gas, pay bills, etc.   However, if we are going out to dinner.. Master likes for me to pick up cash and put it in his wallet to pay for dinner. 

When we were dating neither of us had any money so it wasn't an issue.   We did alot of free stuff  like canoeing, walking through the woods,  hot passionate pictionary,  oh yes, and sex.

sparkyRBF




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