UPSG
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mummyman321
So from my perspective, those who have just entered into the lifestyle, I do not believe know what they are seeking yet. And maybe some learn much faster than others. For me it took every bit of 5 years to fully understand my wants, desires, and needs.
While I have not entered into the BDSM lifestyle, I think your post probably tags me accurately. I put down slave in my profile because I'm not in BDSM but I thought that better suited me than say... "dominant."
 Reading through this board I've started to get the feeling that what I might think I desire is not really what I desire. For me, I wanted to see what being a "submissive" or a "sexual slave"* meant or could mean erotically, in full tilt, and from sources other than my own mind and imaginations. I mean, the submissive fetish thoughts I have are morally corrupted anyways. To be on knees, licking some chicks boot, and obeying to give another guy a blow job is morally corrupted. I wasn't absent every Sunday Mass, I'm not illiterate and I can't claim "invincible ignorance." Nonetheless, the desire for my fetish, the delights involved (or imagined) lead me down a path, I'm fully cognizant of, is morally unorthodox. But it seems most thing morally unorthodox are the most wickedly fun. But then again, that could just be all in my imagination.
Reading through the board, most of which I don't comment on, I've gained the impression women by-and-large are not as perverted as men - ok, well lets just say me - but I've also gotten the impression that large, perhaps most, women get involved as doms to exploit submissive men finacially and in terms of labor, with little to no regard of giving them any sexual gratification. That's my impression. Wanting to learn something other than from my own personal fantasies, I was open to the idea that a male slave should put both his Mistress kink and her sexual gratification first, hell, even her not wanting sex or kink at whatever moment. This actually made sense to me. If you are going to commit to be a sexualized slave, you are still a slave, and hence you are duty bound to do as your told. If you're a "good slave" you try to please. This is what my mind tells me anyways. So, in the doms defense, I found male slaves or subs PMing them begging to be put in dresses, missing the point of being enslaved. I figure a slaves does what he's told, be that to put on jeans, paint a wall, or put on a dress and wig. It's up to his owner(s) wants or amusements at the moment.
However, I kept reading tiny things, little things that made me suspect many women were, or are, out to just get some submissive men to pay them money or build them a new porch. The dude? Nothing. Not a rub on the ass. Nada. If being a male slave means laying cement for some woman's (herself not entirely dominant, but partially fragile) driveway, then taking her to dinner and being chivalrous gentelman, under the condition that maybe in a year or two she might let you kiss the inside of her thigh, then I guess being a male slave is not what I really desire no matter what imaginations and perverted fantasies I had in my head.
So, this has been a learning experience. Not a bad learning experience, just a leraning experience.
It's probably for my own good anyways, because my own slave fantasies were so male disgraceful that doing them would even scare me. lol. I think for my own health and sanity, I stay steady with my original goal, finishing school, and knock on wood, one day become a surgeon in one of the medical specialties, and head Southward to Latin America (knock on wood, I'll keep myself out of trouble down there too).
*And I say sexual because I be damned if I'm going to become a non-sexual slave like all those generations of men that toiled in company mines - in debited to the company store. I'm not going to recreate that American story for some woman just because she likes to be called goddess (the new company store). I mean I do have some street in me so game does recognize game.
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