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Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 8:38:13 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		Changes in the lifestyle.

We all know in society we’ve had baby boomers, Generation X etc. We also know characteristics and attitudes in people have changed. For example; years ago dads never changed diapers, now we have stay-at-home Dads. Women stayed inside of the home mostly and now not uncommon at all to be a CEO.

How has the community evolved with society? What significant changes have you seen in the lifestyle in actions and attitudes? Has the general characteristics of Doms and submissives changed along with society? Particular interested in if slave roles are perhaps more liberal now, in general.

Where have we been? What direction are we heading?

Realizing this is a broad subject, I would greatly appreciate you relating your wisdom and experience in your own life as well as your perceptions of the community.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 8:51:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve
How has the community evolved with society? What significant changes have you seen in the lifestyle in actions and attitudes? Has the general characteristics of Doms and submissives changed along with society? Particular interested in if slave roles are perhaps more liberal now, in general.

Where have we been? What direction are we heading?

I think the most that has changed is numbers, accessibility and organization. With the web everything is far more available to the common person, and with mainstream exposure in all media I see a low level acceptance on a much wider scale than ever before.

I think there is a trend towards less traditional relationships (poly/mix gender/mix orientation) along with the backlash trend towards hyper-traditional relationships.

I think the numbers of younger people entering the scene will continue to rise and that will shape the face of the sub culture more than anything.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 8:59:08 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

hyper-traditional relationships.


Forgive my ignorance, but what is hyper-traditional relationships. I am not familiar with the term.

Thank you


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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:08:15 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2serve
Forgive my ignorance, but what is hyper-traditional relationships. I am not familiar with the term.

Thank you


monogamous male-dom-head-of-household, female-sub-follower-of-authority domestic type situation


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:12:18 AM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		This is what I know; I make no claims that it's correct, though!

There are two major places that we come from: Victorian SM and WWII motocycle military.

There's a part taken from the military men who rode motocycles for intelligence delivery in WWII. (Motorcycles were developed for the military and didn't become main stream until these men made a market for it after the war). Hence the background was male and very structured and naturally became gay male oriented. The leather component also came from this tradition. It has an SM component and a very structured Ms component.

The Victorian influence is mostly BDSM play....and mainly came through porn. If you think all of the people in the Victorian era were prudish, you'd be wrong. A lot were kiny bastards! Only, it was hidden (which is why it's not more mainstream today).

Then, the gay leather community began to expand and the Victorian influence (in particular of Female Domination) came much more into play. Thus, we end up with the pansexual community we have today with the very much more relaxed structure.

If you really want to study our history, go to an event where you can see Vi Johnson's personal library. It fills a room and dates back to the Victorian times. Unlike a lot who deal with antiquarian material, she allows you to TOUCH the stuff.

Fire


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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:22:12 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

If you really want to study our history, go to an event where you can see Vi Johnson's personal library.


Thank you very much for taking the time to be very informative on the history and i will take advantage of learning more.

However, I may have miscommunicated my actual intent of the post, which is how actions and attitudes have changed in the lifestyle from personal perspectives, just have they have in society.

I hope that I have clarified a bit.

Respectfully,
BTs willing

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:22:57 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.
===========

I am guessing...You are vehemently against poly?


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:28:59 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline
quote:

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.
===========

I am guessing...You are vehemently against poly?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)


Actually LA's add states she is a bi-poly sub.... it's always best to check out a persons ad before jumping

(in reply to veronicaofML)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:31:18 AM   
MsIce


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFire70

There are two major places that we come from: Victorian SM and WWII motocycle military.
Fire



I was talking about this very thing the other day. It is my understanding that the Victorian Kinksters were in the main only from the Aristocracy, the rest of them were too busy working themselves to death. Only the rich had the idle time and cash to play.


(in reply to MistressFire70)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:33:51 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		There is a greater public acceptance for alternative lifestyles. Up in Canada the swingers have won a MAJOR court battle that is going to change how we define obscene. Add that to the changes in the marriage acts allowing same sex marriages and it points to two things.
Acceptance and a backlash coming up.
You just know the ultra conservative bible thumpers are going to freak out over it.
Tony

(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:35:15 AM   
phoenixslave


Posts: 66
Joined: 6/13/2004
Status: offline 		whatever the changes may be, and they always change..., i think the face of things on the internet have changed much more than the reality we all get down to in exploring this life.

(in reply to MsIce)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 9:37:00 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		Do you really think that those in the rural areas didn’t have some kinky fun? Heck they didn’t have much else to do for entertainment. LOL
And when talking history of kink, let’s not forget the Japanese. They still out perv us ;-)
Tony


(in reply to MsIce)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 10:10:20 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		I honestly don't think I've been in this lifestyle long enough to really comment on it overall. I got started in 1994 and compared to some (like John Warren) that's just a short while ago. That said I'll limit my remarks to what I have noticed in my own experiences. When I got started in 94 there was a lot more emphasis on SM play and that was the main focus of most of those I encountered. The idea of a D/s relationship that didn't involve any S&M was a pretty novel idea to most I talked with. Since then I've noticed a shift towards more emphasis on the D/s aspect, though not necessarily any less on S&M... more like the two coming on par with one another. I can't say if that was a national trend, just something I've observed in my own area.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 10:33:33 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline
Twisted




Posts: 240
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Winnipeg
Status: offline quote:

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.
===========

I am guessing...You are vehemently against poly?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Actually LA's add states she is a bi-poly sub.... it's always best to check out a persons ad before jumping
============

i dont care--------STILL doesnt make sense to me...

but ah well

life's a bitch and she hates my guts


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 10:52:30 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Doesn't make sense to you... so I suppose you never heard of the concept of quality over quantity?

Now are you going to contribute something useful to this thread or just rag on LA when you quite obviously don't know the first thing about her or where she stands on various issues?

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to veronicaofML)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 11:02:28 AM   
MsCece2u


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
Status: offline 		I believe that the lifestyle is becoming more accepted in mainstream as just what it is an alternative way to live. There are more young people willing to speak up and admit that this something they want to experience and materials concerning the lifestyle are more readily available. When I first ventured into this lifestyle I didn't even know there was a term for it other than kinky. Now 16 and 17 yr olds are asking questions trying to define themselves and see if is for them. So it is definitely more out there.

_____________________________

Ms Cece
Tis better to let people think that you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 11:58:31 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.
===========

I am guessing...You are vehemently against poly?


Uhhh no I am in a committed open poly relationship with three people currently.

That's part of why I like my quote so much- to remind poly people to find good people to form relationships with, not just grab bodies to fill slots. It's witty and amusing and true.

If I were advocating monogamy over poly the quote would read "Choose a stable partner, not a stable of partners."

Mine specifically says "Choose stable partners"

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 1/10/2006 12:02:12 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 1:43:06 PM   
darkslife


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCece2u

I believe that the lifestyle is becoming more accepted in mainstream as just what it is an alternative way to live. There are more young people willing to speak up and admit that this something they want to experience and materials concerning the lifestyle are more readily available. When I first ventured into this lifestyle I didn't even know there was a term for it other than kinky. Now 16 and 17 yr olds are asking questions trying to define themselves and see if is for them. So it is definitely more out there.


Heh - except in my area the young female subs are swarmed fast by doms and dommes 20-30 years their senior. Often they have one relationship, it turns sour as with that age difference their is very little in terms of outside interests, and they leave the lifestyle in disgust.

At least four girls I know of in the local area have left as a direct result of being continually hounded by much older men. So honestly, I don't hold out a lot of hope for the future, as young male doms are somewhat shunned, and young female subs are preyed upon. The situation is a tad different for young dommes and male subs though. So prehaps the culture will return to its roots.

David


(in reply to MsCece2u)
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RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 2:17:39 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx

quote:

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.
===========

I am guessing...You are vehemently against poly?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)


Actually LA's add states she is a bi-poly sub.... it's always best to check out a persons ad before jumping


[laugh] It also helps to read carefully. The third word in LA's sig is "partners" not "partner."


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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Changes in the Lifestyle - 1/10/2006 2:28:28 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Actually, coming from another perspective, Ive seen a blending of lifestyles within my other half, (again the dichotomy, for those who read my intro, I seem to be living between two realities all the time) furry.

The furry community, though newer than and a bit more closeted than BDSM, has too grown, What has seemed to happen, is that Ive noticed a lot of people who are furs are into BDSM in some way or another. Not all furs. They are still the minority, but many of the ones I personally know, and in fact, almost all of my furgroup's regulars are into it. Most furs are relatively young mostly between the ages of seemingly 16-30.

So Ive seen the future.......and it is cuddly! Yay Furry Domination!

But no, seriously, Ive seen the melding of these two lifestyles and am a product of their melding.

And no, the furs who you see who are like the CSI episode are few and far between. Like BDSM furry has to deal with way too many negative and unaccepted stereotypes which only seek to divide us further. Although I have to admit, I am almost your stereotypical fur.

So perhaps, although I would hope it wouldnt divide us further. There will be a subgroup that forms in the future, of mainly furs who practice BDSM, as well as BDSM, and then Furry.

< Message edited by Slipstreme -- 1/10/2006 2:29:59 PM >

(in reply to darkslife)
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