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For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 3:46:15 PM

TwistedAffection

Posts: 14
Joined: 11/24/2008
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I think there is a huge difference for one to get off after they get their Mistress off, rather than before. I think women aren't pleased often enough in general anyhow. When a Mistress ask a submissive/switch, what they can do for them. And that person tells them what ever it takes to get them off, before they do because that it return will allow them to know their Mistress was satisfied and give them satisfaction. Isn't this how it's supposed to be? Is this what a Mistress wants to hear?

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RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 3:56:37 PM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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Well, if you are just getting to know someone and she asks "what can you do for me" talking about how you'll help her orgasm first is probably missing the point of the question. That question in general means "What can you offer me that isn't about sex or kink?"

Do I wish more women would be more direct with the questions they ask? Yes.
Do I think dominant women in general need to be more direct and clear? Yes.

But the fact is that many aren't and leaves the guys in the unhappy position of trying to figure out what each vague question means.

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(in reply to TwistedAffection)

Post #: 2

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 4:03:43 PM

LunaVenus

Posts: 161
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline

Yes I agree. I would say " Please tell Me how you can make Mistress' life easier?"

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 5:10:01 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
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This question assumes the Mistress is seeking 'sexual' satisfaction as a primary objective.

For many, the first layer of power exchange is sexual. That's fine, but its not for a lot of other people. If it is sexual, part of the compatibility factor has to be determined almost immediately. Beside the obvious 'chemistry', you also have to figure out....no emotion/one night stand, friend with benefits, ongoing/long term, emotional connection requirements, etc.

I think this needs to come before the "I'll do you first" offer or the 'I'll do you first if you'll do me' list...and sexually submissive men should realize what they are truly seeking, just as Dominas should feel comfortable stating their requirements as well.

Cleaner communication would help us all.

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to LunaVenus)

Post #: 4

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 6:55:42 PM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
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Communication along with not being selfish in one's desires might help a bit.

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Post #: 5

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 7:17:41 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'd probably rather hear the door closing behind as it's being walked through.

As someone else already said, not all of us are in this because it hinges on sex. There is no sex or sexual service until there's been a lot of work done on the D/s structure. Even in My profile I'm very specific about the fact that there won't be any sex involved and if that's what a person is looking for, they should do so with someone else.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to vampchick88)

Post #: 6

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 7:30:40 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

well, jeez, LadyP.. ya just broke my heart *wink*

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Post #: 7

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 7:31:24 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Nah, you're special.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 8

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 7:33:44 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

I'm not quite sure what you were saying. From the other post I'm guessing a Mistress ask what you can do for her.

I'm just speaking for myself ...although I have talked to a few others that say the same thing. That is not a question that I would normally ask, except when I get the extreme "do me" emails.

Basically, I'm just asking...ok I see all this pleasure for you...what do I get out of it, other than being the one to give you all this pleasure, where do I fit in?

Sometimes when someone ask that question, they really just want you to see that you've made things awfully one sided, and maybe trying to give you a little hint.

That's what it means in my kingdom any way.....LOL

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(in reply to TwistedAffection)

Post #: 9

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 7:35:51 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Nah, you're special.

oh don't listen to her LadyP....she's already lined up for a lifetime of sex, she's just being greedy....oh...wait....lol

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 7:53:17 PM

LunaVenus

Posts: 161
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline

Again, I don't see the question as sexual at all but rather.... What skills like house cleaning, gourmet cooking, carpentry, webdesign they have that you can use. Can they take you on weekend getaways, mow the yard, fix the roof, plumbing, electrical, buy pretty dresses, keep your dungeon updated, etc or just write checks for all of the above. That's how I see the question... "what can you do for me"

If the question was instead..."how would you do me baby?" LOL then I would think it was obviously sexual.

< Message edited by LunaVenus -- 1/25/2009 7:54:59 PM >

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 11

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/25/2009 9:32:17 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

TwistedAffection,

It is a foregone conclusion that a Dominant female will insist on her own sexual satisfaction when she wants it, in whatever time frame or manner she desires it.

Therefore, no I do not want to hear my slave (or a prospective submissive partner) tell me that he will get me off first. Of course he will, unless I desire otherwise. It would be like him telling me that the sun will rise in the morning. Well, duh. Tell me something I don't know.

What else can you do for me?

I apologize for not being able to come up with a less snarky way of making my point. You are young and will have newbie questions like this, so that's fine. I'm glad you asked. Welcome to the forums!

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(in reply to TwistedAffection)

Post #: 12

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 4:55:49 AM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

Hey OP, if you're not sure what to do, and want to avoid the embarrassment/pain of being unsure what to do, play dumb, or assume she meant sexual things. It's how most females see us males anyhow, so why act out of character? lol..

(I feel really bad today) lol.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 13

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 5:27:11 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

Hey OP, if you're not sure what to do, and want to avoid the embarrassment/pain of being unsure what to do, play dumb, or assume she meant sexual things. It's how most females see us males anyhow, so why act out of character? lol..

(I feel really bad today) lol.

Or you could try to rise above what "most females" (who are these females, btw?) expect and act with character.

To the OP....There's an old saying "never assume, it makes an ass out of u and me". If you're not sure, ask the Lady in question to clarify her statement. Think of it this way...you go on a job interview and you're asked "What do you have to offer this company?" What do you have to offer this particular Lady? That's how I would interpret the question, unless the entire conversation has been of a sexual nature.
When in doubt....ask.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Underumam)

Post #: 14

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 8:07:22 AM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedAffection

I think there is a huge difference for one to get off after they get their Mistress off, rather than before. I think women aren't pleased often enough in general anyhow. When a Mistress ask a submissive/switch, what they can do for them. And that person tells them what ever it takes to get them off, before they do because that it return will allow them to know their Mistress was satisfied and give them satisfaction. Isn't this how it's supposed to be? Is this what a Mistress wants to hear?

I am not seeking a sub that wants to fill my sexual needs..... all of my sexual needs are completely fulfilled.

This Mistress wants to hear how you (ne: any sub) can better my life or make my life easier.

(in reply to TwistedAffection)

Post #: 15

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 8:16:39 AM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

Hey OP, if you're not sure what to do, and want to avoid the embarrassment/pain of being unsure what to do, play dumb, or assume she meant sexual things. It's how most females see us males anyhow, so why act out of character? lol..

(I feel really bad today) lol.

Or you could try to rise above what "most females" (who are these females, btw?) expect and act with character.

To the OP....There's an old saying "never assume, it makes an ass out of u and me". If you're not sure, ask the Lady in question to clarify her statement. Think of it this way...you go on a job interview and you're asked "What do you have to offer this company?" What do you have to offer this particular Lady? That's how I would interpret the question, unless the entire conversation has been of a sexual nature.
When in doubt....ask.

CarrieO--I was joking.. :)

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 16

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 8:30:32 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

Hey OP, if you're not sure what to do, and want to avoid the embarrassment/pain of being unsure what to do, play dumb, or assume she meant sexual things. It's how most females see us males anyhow, so why act out of character? lol..

(I feel really bad today) lol.

Or you could try to rise above what "most females" (who are these females, btw?) expect and act with character.

To the OP....There's an old saying "never assume, it makes an ass out of u and me". If you're not sure, ask the Lady in question to clarify her statement. Think of it this way...you go on a job interview and you're asked "What do you have to offer this company?" What do you have to offer this particular Lady? That's how I would interpret the question, unless the entire conversation has been of a sexual nature.
When in doubt....ask.

CarrieO--I was joking.. :)

I know but the last thing we need is for this young man to come here and not see it as a joke.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 1/26/2009 8:37:05 AM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to Underumam)

Post #: 17

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 8:36:01 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Playing dumb proves two things... you think we are dumb and you have proven you are. (Not speaking of anyone personally) I don't think it is a funny haha thing to make statements that conclude a negative opinion or falsehood and spread it around for some to think you are serious. We have a newbie thread... we have some who are genuinely seeking information and to find themselves and to highlight or enhance improper thinking on males or females... submissive or dominant... isn't smart in my opinion... and I am not joking. When someone is presenting as new and asking for information... it is best not to joke about such things in my opinion... if they seem sincere anyway.

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(in reply to Underumam)

Post #: 18

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 8:56:24 AM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

Oh my.........

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 19

RE: For what to get his Mistress off. - 1/26/2009 11:39:35 AM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedAffection

When a Mistress ask a submissive/switch, what they can do for them. And that person tells them what ever it takes to get them off, before they do because that it return will allow them to know their Mistress was satisfied and give them satisfaction. Isn't this how it's supposed to be? Is this what a Mistress wants to hear?

I realize this is probably going to come across as somewhat brutal, but reading yet another one of these questions, I suddenly had a revelation about why women ask the question "what can you do for me" in such vague terms. Because thinking back to the Bad Old Days when I was actually chatting with prospective subs by email, on one or two occasions, I have actually found myself asking someone this question without giving any specifics. It was always the email before I started ignoring him.

Whenever I would ask a man "What can you do for me?", it was always in a context of HIM HAVING ASKED ME FOR SOMETHING.

Do you like to use a strap-on, mistress? Will you spank me until I can't sit down? Will you use me as a human ashtray, mistress? Will you make me worship your boots? Will you blackmail me, dress me up like a sissy, put me in a diaper and call me "Doody Judy", blah blah blah me me me my fetishes my fetishes blah?

Yes, I realize that most men who hit a woman with the laundry list of their kinky desires, fantasies and fetishes do not think that they are presenting a woman with a List of Demands or an exhausting set of chores. But guess what, darlin'--no matter how dominant we are, no matter how much we like people with penises, the vast majority of women DON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU IF WE DON'T KNOW YOU.

Ever.

End of story.

So if you are sending a woman emails about what you want sexually, when she sends you an email back asking what you can do for her? It generally means that NOTHING you've said so far has done ANYTHING for her. The space between her thighs has not heated up a single degree. You are giving her no desire to "get off" whatsoever--you are not turning her on, or making her want to have sex with you or dominate you. If you were, she'd already be telling you want she wanted because she'd be excited about you as a man and a sex object.

As it stands, when she asks you "what can you do for me", she's giving you one last-ditch chance to prove that your head isn't completely up your own ass and that you aren't a completely worthless, self-obsessed bore. "I'll make you come too", "I'll make you come first", or any other sexual offer is probably not the way to go at that moment. I have no idea what might actually work to turn the situation around at that moment, but I think my recommended strategy from now on would be a hasty reply of "Wow, I got off on a tangent there talking about ME for a while, didn't I? You're right, I should probably get to you know better and think about what you want as well. I can see you have some interests listed in your profile--what about this (fill in her interest of choice) thing? I'm interested in that, although I don't know much about it..."

Etc.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to TwistedAffection)

Post #: 20

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