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Being Polite - 1/26/2009 1:41:43 AM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline 		After casually talking to someone, via instant messenger or e mail, sometimes, I find that I am in no way interested in conversating with this person anymore. So I usually just ignore them. Some people are persistant though.

What is a polite way to let someone know you're no longer interested in them without hurting their feelings?

Thanks, Sugar
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:16:39 AM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Just be straight forward and if they can't take a hint block em.

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:34:07 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		FoF!!! (In commanding attitude)..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:36:03 AM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline 		FoF? I could definitely use forum translation guide.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:37:25 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

FoF? I could definitely use forum translation guide.


F**k of Fred

I've head it said in a commanding voice froman expreemn;y lady like in whose mouth butter wouldn't melt (You Southern Gals know what I mean)


< Message edited by IronBear -- 1/26/2009 2:39:34 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:39:20 AM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline 		Merci Beaucoup!

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:41:19 AM   
bamagirl4u


Posts: 151
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline 		I tell them nicely--once!  If they persist I block them.   I admit--it feels good to know they can't spew all they like and I won't see it...lol.  You don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to.  If after telling them you aren't interested, they continue to persist..well...that waves a big ole red flag to me.  Good luck.

_____________________________

~Don't settle for the One you can live with~~Wait for the One you can't live without.~
~To thine own self be true~~no compromise.~

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:45:54 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Avec plaisir

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 2:58:29 AM   
cagliostro


Posts: 128
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline 		Just like you said it there.  You list yourself as a submissive, so some will take that to mean you just need convincing.  This gives them away as fools and fakes, which means you shouldn't concern yourself with how you come across anymore.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 3:38:36 AM   
Riesa


Posts: 94
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline 		i have this problem i talk to people on email on here, then they want to add me to msn etc, I tend to ask what for, as i am not looking for anything other than friends, they say thats all they want, I add them and within a couple of hours The person seems to think they are going to Dom me, or demand tasks etc. Usually i explain again, i am not looking  etc and if they dont take the hint i just block and delete, but some times they come back here give me grief, if it gets bad on here they go on block here...
(Others sites i use are same too, want more than friendship and get persistant no matter how many times i say sorry but no, read my profile lol.)
Riesa

_____________________________

Live for today, Not for what might have been Yesterday.

(in reply to cagliostro)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 3:39:10 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You can either just put them on ignore which is what I usually do because from my experience if they haven't gotten the hint when you don't respond to them then they eventually just become nasty..or you can just say "thank you for the conversation but I'm just not feeling any kind of connection. Good luck to you though." but my experience is they will still continue so again, just put them on ignore.

(in reply to cagliostro)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 4:41:48 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		"Dear Buddy, The votes are in and you're off the list!"
 
Seriously, I don't think there is a good or bad way--you try to be nice and they may persist and get nasty---you are abrupt--and the same can happen---people just don't like rejection and it seems here where there is the perception that if one must simply claims an orientation,  their yangs will just fall from the sky--rejection seems to come as a shocker.
 
But to thine own self be true.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 5:45:24 AM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		I understand what you are saying here, as I do like hurting feelings either, it is a dilemma. I used to if someone bothered me, just tell them I had to go, then put myself on stealth mode to them, that I felt was message enough.

Now, I rarely bother with the messenger service with new people, those I do have on it are friends from here, people I am familiar with, people I tend to trust. I don't give out my IM willy nilly, that may come after a fair few C-mails are exchanged and I have known a person more than a few weeks and I am interested in them more than just someone to chat to. The people I have whom I talk to quite regularly I have known for more than six months and three years in one case, two in another.

Yep, only three people, but I was always one to accept quality rather than quantity, I would rather have few very good friends than many aquaintances.




< Message edited by Aneirin -- 1/26/2009 5:46:56 AM >

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 6:46:18 AM   
Metamorph


Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2008
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I think it's poor form not to clearly let someone know that you're no longer interested if they continue to try and speak to you after communication channels have been opened. You may think you've given enough of a hint but these kinds of things don't translate well to the online medium.


(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 6:50:03 AM   
sweetpeasmiles


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline 		I normally just tell them politely that there is no connection,  and wish them luck in their search.  If it turns nasty then the iggy button it is.  Life's too short to be dealing with the clueless constantly.

(in reply to Metamorph)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 6:50:05 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		You could tell them something along the lines of thank you for your time, but I don't feel it's going to go anywhere. Best wishes. Then when they start in on why why why, fat ugly bitch, didn't want you anyway, etc., etc., etc., just block and ignore without anymore responses.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to Metamorph)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 7:18:25 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		OK Sugar,

One post you coluld send him after telling him no, is: 

Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!  Braccae tuae aperiuntur - Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket! Your fly is open

Now if he doesn't take any notice or gets rude send this:

 Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem - In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 7:40:10 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I rarely add anyone to my instant messenger stuff. That is for family and close friends and a select few that survive the long term screening process. I would rather talk to them on the phone before that sometimes.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 7:42:17 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cagliostro

Just like you said it there.  You list yourself as a submissive, so some will take that to mean you just need convincing.  This gives them away as fools and fakes, which means you shouldn't concern yourself with how you come across anymore.


Whoever believes that a submissive 'just needs convincing', as if she didn't really know what she wanted, hasn't done his homework, definitely.

_____________________________



(in reply to cagliostro)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Being Polite - 1/26/2009 7:46:27 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

After casually talking to someone, via instant messenger or e mail, sometimes, I find that I am in no way interested in conversating with this person anymore. So I usually just ignore them. Some people are persistant though.

What is a polite way to let someone know you're no longer interested in them without hurting their feelings?

Thanks, Sugar


Dont be in such a rush as to give out messaging info. Stay on C-mail or mail provided at the site. Thats what it is there for to let you retain your aninimity. But say its not a match and if they persist. Block. Dont worry about their feelings. Worry about YOU.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 20
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