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RE: The Lady's List - 1/28/2009 2:59:44 AM

LadyMedusa

Posts: 34
Joined: 2/12/2007
From: Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

lists are a great starting place, however, they don't substitute for real face to face conversation.. .I'll admit I prefer that...

I very much agree, and I usually do not hand out my list lightly either, they have to earn the chance to even fill it out.

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LadyMedusa

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RE: The Lady's List - 1/28/2009 3:02:36 AM

LadyMedusa

Posts: 34
Joined: 2/12/2007
From: Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: malloves69

you forgot 2 of my favorites fisting anally ...yes you said vaginally ..sorry i dont have one of those and prostate massages /prostate milking ...and yes i have one of those my lady knows my ass and prostate well i must say have fun ..mal

Sorry dear, my list came from a personal file, and I don't have malesubs in My life, so I did not think to add for a male... :)

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RE: The Lady's List - 1/28/2009 3:06:06 AM

LadyMedusa

Posts: 34
Joined: 2/12/2007
From: Florida
Status: offline

When I posted this, i knew there might be a few differences in opinion..lol. I didn't think to add my own opinions so here they are. I usually do not bring up this list right away, and I have found that many times it helps when I am plotting ...erm planning something for kelaine. I once enjoyed tying the wench up in my garden for an hour as a scarecrow, as I found she was not adverse to outside play.. although I don't think she ever imagined that one!

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RE: The Lady's List - 1/28/2009 11:55:32 AM

MsMillgrove

Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline

How you use the list is where the value lies.

For new dommes, it can be really helpful as a way to understand where you might match up with a sub or suggest to you ideas for play.. and definately it is always useful to see--what's the reward, where is the punishment?

The problem with the list lies with a newbie or less experienced subs. They "think" they'd like or dislike--but then.. when the moment comes--different story.
As said above, the list is a good jumping off point for discussions about limits, safewords and ideas for the future.

I don't use them any more because experienced subs know how to answer questions, they know how to present their limits, their likes and dislikes. The newbie doesn't. Filling them out sometimes only shows you how well subs follow written directions or reveals they cannot reason..because they'll chose two closely related items and rate them wildly differently.

Like a lot of tools in bdsm, i think trying it out a list is the best way to judge--does this work for me?

I don't need them anymore, but I learned a lot in using them.

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RE: The Lady's List - 1/28/2009 3:03:08 PM

MistressXahDee

Posts: 43
Joined: 4/29/2008
From: San Diego, Ca.
Status: offline

Thanks for the quick list, the one I used prior was a bit too long for a coffee chat. So, that also answers the question do I use them, yes, I do. For me, because I still consider myself new 'ish', I am still figuring the vast array of possible fetish/bdsm activties. This new list looks to be wonderful quick reference guide for use in coffee chats .

As an aside...there are still things on the lists that make even me blush