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RE: feelings? :) - 1/28/2009 9:22:58 AM

urlittleprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I have deep loving feelings for my sub. I do not hesitate to tell him that I love and adore him. He knows that he belongs to me and I do not have to remind him of that fact. I am a laid back Domme with only a few protocols. So this works for us.

FYI Dom "feelings" can vary, so be happy that your Dom is happy, he could be displeased and take his collar back.
If you need "more" then tell him, perhaps he isn't aware that his showing his emotions in this way bothers you or makes you think of him as being "less Domly". If you need more discipline, again tell him as I am sure he is not a mind reader, most of us "D" types aren't.

Good luck,
~Lashra

good morning Lashra, and everyone who has replied!

He is also a laid back type of Dom...and i know what is expected of me and how to make Him happy. i dont really see Him as being less Domly...i think i just worry He is reverting to the vanilla again...He did that with purpose a few months ago, and i dont want to feel uncertain about things again. i like knowing exactly what is happening in the relationship (control freak in my own right...lol) i guess the warmth and closeness He expresses is something to be grateful for...i do thrive on it...but also need the control aspect as well...discipline yes, punishment no!!! lol

learning to go with the flow i guess!!! thank you again for the D perspective...gives me food for thought!! have a beautiful day!

< Message edited by urlittleprincess -- 1/28/2009 9:24:22 AM >

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/28/2009 12:08:23 PM

LaTigresse

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Another thing to consider. When I am feeling less than 100%, sick, worried, stressed, etc. Sometimes I am more loving and mushy than I am regularly. Not always, sometimes it has the opposite affect. But that is something to consider.

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/28/2009 12:30:42 PM

allthatjaz

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As I read this post I couldn't help but be touched by sadness. Sadness that love, care, compliments are being taken as a weakness, sadness because it reminds me of the abused women who get into relationships with shits because they needed the 'treat em mean, keep em keen' sort of men and if you gave them a real man that could look after, love and compliment his woman then she would spit him right out.

Saying your beautiful, that he adores you, loves you, admires you does not = vanilla, does not = submission and does not EVER = weakness.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 1/28/2009 12:31:55 PM >

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/28/2009 1:34:50 PM

urlittleprincess

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hello LaTigresse and thank you for your insight...sometimes He likes alone time when feeling less than 100%, but often needs a little more tlc, which i love to give! :) i think i just bring out the mush in Him at times!!

allthatjaz...sorry if my post inspired some sad feelings...was just a question i had based on thoughts from another thread, and the subsequent thoughts and reflections of other points of view. i dont beleive i once said being mushy was a weakness...i personally just find it difficult to go from one extreme to the other...i prefer the middle ground! of course i understand that Dom or not, people are people with a wide range of emotions...i have been with Him 2 years but only living together for a couple months...i have alot to learn about Him and about the lifestyle, although He cautions me not to listen to others interpretation too closely because it is how we interact and feel about each other and our life togehter that matters!

in my past relationships i have been the dominant partner...always making the decisions, always assuming the control...and it just wasn't me. i suppose some of the behavior He displays when feeling mushy reminds me of some of the behaviors displayed by the submissive people i have dated...and i suppose my tolerance for it has not increased! He never sucks up to me though thank goodness as i found that to be a turn off with the previous subby-like guys i dated. (not meant as any form of disrespect to submissive males or their Dom/mes)

thank you to everyone who has taken time to read and/or reply! im still learning!! :)

< Message edited by urlittleprincess -- 1/28/2009 1:41:58 PM >

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/29/2009 3:46:02 PM

MasterTslave

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My Master and I have a relationship that he can be loving and open with me...and I would not think of him as UN-Domly...that is crazy! In my slave rules one of them is that I need to understand and remember that I am my Master's greatest treasure and he loves me with all of his heart...so if he wants to say that I am cute, that is fine...as long as it isn't during a whipping session (unless he is acting like some psycho)

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/29/2009 5:40:30 PM

Zechriel

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Good evening!
Personally, I needed the mushiness and stuff. And I only realized that after I had been with 2 Masters that were not like that. So happily I found Daddy- and the rest is history....
Love,
Zechriel

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/29/2009 5:47:27 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: urlittleprincess

im just wondering what it means when a Dom is constantly telling His submissive how cute she is (do you know how cute you are? i think you are so adorable!)...or saying how much He likes her (I just want you to know how much I like you...I like you so much...I liiiiiike you!)...and isn't so much into the discipline anymore. are His vanilla feelings outweighing His Dom feelings??? will it even out? :)

I... think it means he thinks she's cute and he likes her?

As for anything else, you'll have to ask him. There could be a million reasons why the discipline isn't there anymore and the two things could very well be completely unrelated.

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/29/2009 6:22:49 PM

Cuffkinks

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Pardon my bluntness, but I have to say...you've been doing alot of "talking" about your situation here on the boards, but how often do you talk to him? That would be the thing to do. I'm sure many here have said the same thing.
Just for the record...
I tell my little girl how cute I think she is all the time. Because...she is.
I tell my little girl how much I like and appreciate her all the time. Because...I do.
I'm not a terribly demanding man, and my girl knows that. Perhaps yours is the same way. There are times I get downright mushy with my girl. I love her and have no problem telling her or anyone else that will listen. That doesn't make me any more or less Dominant. That makes me a man in love with a woman. Perhaps you should view your situation that way.

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/30/2009 1:27:16 PM

urlittleprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks

That makes me a man in love with a woman. Perhaps you should view your situation that way.

thank you to all who have taken the time to reply with their thoughts...Cufflinks, i think you are right...why questions something so good...i will focus on the positive feelings His words and actions inspire!! :)

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RE: feelings? :) - 1/31/2009 12:20:25 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: urlittleprincess

good morning to everyone! :)

i was in another thread entitled 'what do you call your dom'...and one person replied that she used to call him Master or Sir, but as the vanilla began creeping into the relationship the way they addressed each other became less formal.

im just wondering what it means when a Dom is constantly telling His submissive how cute she is (do you know how cute you are? i think you are so adorable!)...or saying how much He likes her (I just want you to know how much I like you...I like you so much...I liiiiiike you!)...and isn't so much into the discipline anymore. are His vanilla feelings outweighing His Dom feelings??? will it even out? :)

Two things come to mind. He is either trying to convince himself that she really is cute OR she needs constant ego stroking.

BadOne

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RE: feelings? :) - 2/1/2009 11:19:45 PM

subsmissive4play

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My Master also pays me a lot of compliments, but I still know that he is the one in control. We are also not very formal about using the words Master or Sir. I guess I know when it is appropriate and when he expects me to use them. One question that does come to mind is... Is your Master in love with you? My Master and I have fallen in love, and I know he sometimes struggles a bit with discipline, but he does make a conscious effort not to let the love get in the way when he needs to discipline.

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