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Aneirin -> RE: Men and Femininity (1/28/2009 12:04:18 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
A spin off of the "women are afraid of maleness"..
I think men as a whole are not comfortable with displays of what is perceived as femininity--Im not talking crying at movies, or tenderness over world issues, I am talking--facing and embracing that "other" side-the WOMAN SIDE ( and note I didn't say natural state..)
Men? what say you?
My understanding, or my personal belief is that each sex is a makeup of both sexes, it is just what anatomy a person holds usually defines their dominant sexuality, their everyday role in the furtherment of our species, i.e. if you have a vagina, you a receiver, a penis you are a giver, the two doing what is natural can create further life, humanity continues into the future.
But is that all we are here for, the furtherment of our species and all the trappings that go with that, the seemingly constant interest in the pursuit of attractiveness to the opposite sex and what is thought to be the standard according to rules from the past, I think not, for there is more to us than that. Maybe in these recent years of media and mass communication, an advancement in thinking has occurred, maybe we have discovered at last we as a species are here for more than just the continuance of our species and with that we have gained the freedom to discover what we actually are.
Now myself, I eschew expected societal norms, the standards of old of what it was assumed a male should be, it took a while for it to sink in and did cause some malcontent, but now I have moved beyond that and am happy discovering myself, what it means to be me, the more I discover and accept, the happier I seem to become, so that to me means I am taking the right direction in my life. Now of these things I have accepted about myself, many of them could be considered feministic in our modern understanding, but are they, maybe they are considered such in our post modern thinking, but they were not always so. I wear my hair long, I actively seek to encourage it to grow as long as it will grow and because of wearing long hair, I am familiar with what could be considered a female chore, that of looking after the hair, the products involved and so forth to make it look it's best. I admit sometimes there is some discomfort when seeking products for the hair, where I have to go to get them and the packaging of such products, them being biased towards women, but that is my discomfort, as when confusion hits, I ask a shop assisstant and often it is I receive more advice than what is the ideal product and I go away thankful to them, a good experience. The fault in that case is the manufactures of such products and their box front advertising, they aim it at women, so the assumption is hair care is a female activity.
But with well kept long hair, there is a side effect which is good, for I have taken to skin care in that and other forms of personal care, I look after myself and my appearance, all my preening and care could be seen as feminine by the commonly set standard, but I don't care, for I like to be the best I can be and will make every effort in that direction, as me, is the only thing I will always have beyond any possession.
It is not just hair, skin and clothes care, things to do with the appearance that could be considered feminine for a modern male, but activities, one of those activities is healing and the care of others. I have for a long time been interested in alternative healing and care and so with that, I have learned massage, aromatherapy, some phytotherapy and reflexology, things I know to work, or at least provide another with some comfort and I have no problems in helping others, in fact I delight in it, perhaps it could be called service, if so why not do what you enjoy.
I mentioned clothes, hmmm, yes, I am interested in clothes, I will not wear just anything, especially the crap pedalled by a high street outlet, I am fastidious about what I wear and I seek clothing to suit my own style, sometimes something which is difficult due to the clothing not being the norm, but when I get it I am happy. Another feminine aspect perhaps, well not according to history it's not. The latest interest for me which I have already questioned and accepted is an interest in corsetry, because I am due to my age ( and probably beer),developing the ususal male pattern fat deposits and I seek to firm up the waist line to clean up my appearance, that's, not appear to be the typical male I don't care what I look like. The other thing is I like the armoured feel of corsetry and what it does for the posture.
One of my latest threads on here, ' skirts for men', yes, I am heading for a kilt, so what with long hair, skin care , corsets and kilts, one might even say I am in this modern world of assumptions, a closet cross dresser, or feminine, to that I say bollocks as every item can be traced through history to be at one time male attire and activity, they have their history and with knowledge of that history, I am comfortable in myself, I am me and that is all that matters, people may accept me or reject me that is up to them, but I tend to view a person beyond their outward appearance.
To the OP, apologies for the over long reply, my reason is I have not yet worked my way through my daily quota of coffee yet.
Take a look at this guy on this link, a guy I very much admire, his personal oppinions are very similar to my own, and through he, you might get to understand there are many of us who dabble with what can erroneously be considered the feminine
(A website of many interesting articles )
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