RE: BDSM and University

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Tine11 -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 12:46:31 PM)
Its funny, one of my mom's friends put it to her that being in collage means that the person is tryign to find who they are, and is trying on differnt skins to find which fits them best. I would not mind having people on campus that were into BDSM, but sadily on a small private collage campus, i don't think that will happen. Let alone being able to start a club, so and not have the campus turn against you. But hey thats life.

Slipstreme -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 12:53:54 PM)
the mention was to create university groups geared for college students, and I think, an online group. But, even in the groups that colleges do have, there is definately the older and the more experienced community involved as well. It would never be a good idea to cut off the involvement of those who can be mentors. But, I think that such groups could serve as a good foundation to helping the young BDSM practicioner, to find people to confide in, and learn from. Yes, the teaching is subjective, but then again, so is teaching any subject, a subjective experience, shaded by the experiences of the professor. It would be a nice hook up place, but then again, that can become a problem in itself. But in general, I can see it as a great oppertunity to share and learn. And no, I don't see it becoming a college course. Would be interesting though, and I've already said physics and materials science should be taught from a BDSM perspective. And there are classes out there teaching people to become porn stars as well, typically hidden under such terms as Human Sexuality, and such. [:D] LOL My college did have an online Alt.com group called Gator Pain, but alas, they seem to have disbanded.

cloudboy -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 1:46:11 PM)
>And no, I don't see it becoming a college course. < They do, its called ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY.

Slipstreme -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 2:12:43 PM)
Yes, and so it would be also the study of all paraphilias and human behaviour beyond the norm. Personally, I love psychology. All of it. But alas, not part of my major, I would have to do any study on my own. And yes, Im sure you meant it to be taken as a sarcastic remark. That was not lost on me.

thetammyjo -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 2:19:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spacehippie Ok, I'm not sure if its just me but I think I didnt make my self very clear, my mistake. What I was wondering about it students who are at university and are interested in BDSM, how do they handle it? With a job, uni work, social life etc. I was hoping to set up a group for students (me included) to see how they do it etc. Does that clarify things? I wanna talk to other students and see how they handle it. Peace A good way to start is to form a student group. Now, if you are all beginners it is good to just have a group to talk about desires and feeling, maybe have a book reading, one book a month to discuss, and if you can get the funding or live in a relatively big area, you can invite in guest speakers. You may also include non-students but based on my experience with two such groups I'm going to offer some strong advice. Do not let non-students have authority in the group to make decisions about membership or programs or even where you meet. You do much better if you keep all the leadership in the hands of students. Remember 'students' can be a big group because it includes undergraduate and graduate students and people go to college now in all age groups. How you find each other to start said group? Advert in the school newspaper or television -- "Know what BDSM is? Come to the coffee house at 10pm on Thursday." something simple like that. How do you cope with being kinky and a student? The same way you cope with being in the college republicans or the Pro-choice group or the Hemp Awareness group. It is exactly the same. Any extracurricular activity requires you balance work and classes and projects and friends. You start small, like an hour discussion a week. You remind yourself you don't have to attend everything but that you do have to honor your obligations. You make friends inside and outside of the group and you respect everyone's privacy as well as expect them to respect yours. I left the student group where I'm currently a graduate student because I was bloody burnt out by it and from it (see "strong advice" above). But this is exactly how I handled it -- just as I would any other interest or student group. Now, is money an issue? Are you worried about the parents finding out? Or are there other issues you want to discuss? I've known a lot of students over the years in these two different groups (one in NYC and one in Bloomington IN) so while I haven't had every experience, I've held the hands of many folks dealing with a variety of issues.

Mariposa -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 2:38:11 PM)
As a literary editor for my campus' (sex radical) porn magazine, I can offer a bit of advice about starting campus groups. As has already been stated, your best bet is to play by the rules and work with the administration. You should also schedule a meeting with the university attourney to discuss what types of events/ happenings you can schedule without breaking any local obscenity laws. I know my college (known for its fairly liberal administration) has stood by our publication (even after we were confronted and unwillingly publicized by the mainstream media!) because though we have pushed boundaries, we have never broken the rules. Peace and good luck, Mari

veronicaofML -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 3:33:50 PM)
no one has yet written the textbook....most likely because there are no right and wrong ways, no right and wrong answers....everyone practices in their own way ========== really? what d'ya call old man wiseman and that one gal that claims to be a pro domme with all her books? there are plenty of "textbooks". they all claim to know it all. they all claim THEIR way is the REAL way.

JohnWarren -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 3:36:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML no one has yet written the textbook....most likely because there are no right and wrong ways, no right and wrong answers....everyone practices in their own way ========== really? what d'ya call old man wiseman and that one gal that claims to be a pro domme with all her books? there are plenty of "textbooks". they all claim to know it all. they all claim THEIR way is the REAL way. Actually all the SM nonfiction authors I know are pretty upfront at saying they write about what they know and make it explicitly clear there are other valid approaches.

veronicaofML -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 4:09:56 PM)
Actually all the SM nonfiction authors I know are pretty upfront at saying they write about what they know and make it explicitly clear there are other valid approaches. ========== then why does everyone (except YOU....) CLAIM it is THEE way to go? YOU i know are a gentleman and a scholar...at least YOU never had a crossword against ME.

JohnWarren -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 4:34:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML Actually all the SM nonfiction authors I know are pretty upfront at saying they write about what they know and make it explicitly clear there are other valid approaches. ========== then why does everyone (except YOU....) CLAIM it is THEE way to go? YOU i know are a gentleman and a scholar...at least YOU never had a crossword against ME. I'm polite but don't take that as agreement. And everyone does not claim one true way. Just about every author I know including Jay Wiseman makes it clear they aren't the final word on anything.

IronBear -> RE: BDSM and University (1/12/2006 4:43:19 PM)
Crikey, and here's me thinking that all those discussions over coffee, munches and nights at Club Lib. were part of a Formal Teaching Institution. Guess I wont be applying for Government Adult Education Funding then....

Wolfie648 -> RE: BDSM and University (1/13/2006 12:19:18 AM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: Wolfie648 It's not going to happen on a site like collarme.com ever because this is a non-pay site. John expects to be paid for his time, which if you are attending 'school' is fine - pay for your education. This site however offers the exchange of information for free. Actually, I don't get paid. I get airfare and a hotel room and (rarely) a few meals. All the other out-of-pocket expenses I pay myself. I try to cover those with back-of-the-room book sales but it's a rare trip in which I come home with more money than I had when I left. I don't take issue with being paid or losing money. I take issue with misrepresentation - which it seemed to me you were doing. quote: I have rarely seen a website where the information consists of disagreements and contradictions, a situation that reflects the scene better than a monolithic viewpoint Since I was responding to the OP I neglected to specify I was talking about the kind of website that he was referring to, not a discussion site like CollarMe Since you cannot know the OP's mind (thoughts, whatever terminology you choose, etc.) you cannot refer ('talk about the kind of' - minus verb conjugation on 'talk' vs. 'talking') to a website that he was referring to. I went back, I read the original post. No mention of a website - mention of a group (fair to assume web based absolutely) yes. Website no. Moving along the OP says "Ok, I'm not sure if its just me but I think I didnt make my self very clear, my mistake. What I was wondering about it students who are at university and are interested in BDSM, how do they handle it? With a job, uni work, social life etc. I was hoping to set up a group for students (me included) to see how they do it etc. Does that clarify things? I wanna talk to other students and see how they handle it. Peace " Which is to date 12:05AM (Fri morning just entered) west coast time his only 2 posts on the subject. quote: But if you are paying for one of his classes you are getting a 'monolithic viewpoint'. He is only one man. Even if he is drawing his presentation through mulitple sources, it all goes through one filter (him). That was why I suggest conventions like Sinsations in Leather. While one class may be biased, there are multiple speakers. Also the attendees can interact giving an observer a good idea of how mainstream any individual speaker is. I have no clue what Sinsations in Leather is all about (prior to what you've said); I've never been, never heard of it before these posts; I don't read minds and can't be expected to 'know' by electronic web-site osmosis of thought; I think you don't read minds (could be wrong); I think most other people don't read minds (could be wrong); I can't respond to what I don't see presented. Details, qualifications, I can only go by what's presented. As presented it sounded like you promoting yourself (which I have no issue with) by misrepresentation (which I do have issue with). D (owner of j).

KidIcarus -> RE: BDSM and University (1/13/2006 2:09:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin *no one has yet written the textbook....most likely because there are no right and wrong ways, no right and wrong answers....everyone practices in their own way To set this up you will need faculty, advisors, curricula, materials, and could only teach fairly intellectual subjects (no how-tos). Then you would need students, a large chunk of whom enter with relatively similar levels of experience and interests. And money for tuition, time for study, and desire to go to courses. With most metro areas already having solid or semi-solid groups to socialize and enjoy...with travelling lecturists and panelists and conventions already giving mini-versions of what you propose, with so many disparate levels of understanding, desire, experience and the fact that most people come into this far after the standard "structured learning period" of life...I just don't see it as a feasible thing. Again, it's a good idea. When I lived in Texas, amazingly, things like this could have been arranged very quickly and very easily...

JohnWarren -> RE: BDSM and University (1/13/2006 3:26:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolfie648 quote: quote: ORIGINAL: Wolfie648 It's not going to happen on a site like collarme.com ever because this is a non-pay site. John expects to be paid for his time, which if you are attending 'school' is fine - pay for your education. This site however offers the exchange of information for free. Actually, I don't get paid. I get airfare and a hotel room and (rarely) a few meals. All the other out-of-pocket expenses I pay myself. I try to cover those with back-of-the-room book sales but it's a rare trip in which I come home with more money than I had when I left. I don't take issue with being paid or losing money. I take issue with misrepresentation - which it seemed to me you were doing. quote: I have rarely seen a website where the information consists of disagreements and contradictions, a situation that reflects the scene better than a monolithic viewpoint Since I was responding to the OP I neglected to specify I was talking about the kind of website that he was referring to, not a discussion site like CollarMe Since you cannot know the OP's mind (thoughts, whatever terminology you choose, etc.) you cannot refer ('talk about the kind of' - minus verb conjugation on 'talk' vs. 'talking') to a website that he was referring to. I went back, I read the original post. No mention of a website - mention of a group (fair to assume web based absolutely) yes. Website no. Moving along the OP says "Ok, I'm not sure if its just me but I think I didnt make my self very clear, my mistake. What I was wondering about it students who are at university and are interested in BDSM, how do they handle it? With a job, uni work, social life etc. I was hoping to set up a group for students (me included) to see how they do it etc. Does that clarify things? I wanna talk to other students and see how they handle it. Peace " Which is to date 12:05AM (Fri morning just entered) west coast time his only 2 posts on the subject. quote: But if you are paying for one of his classes you are getting a 'monolithic viewpoint'. He is only one man. Even if he is drawing his presentation through mulitple sources, it all goes through one filter (him). That was why I suggest conventions like Sinsations in Leather. While one class may be biased, there are multiple speakers. Also the attendees can interact giving an observer a good idea of how mainstream any individual speaker is. I have no clue what Sinsations in Leather is all about (prior to what you've said); I've never been, never heard of it before these posts; I don't read minds and can't be expected to 'know' by electronic web-site osmosis of thought; I think you don't read minds (could be wrong); I think most other people don't read minds (could be wrong); I can't respond to what I don't see presented. Details, qualifications, I can only go by what's presented. As presented it sounded like you promoting yourself (which I have no issue with) by misrepresentation (which I do have issue with). D (owner of j). In just what way am I misrepresenting myself? The only personal comment I've made here is that I don't charge to make a presentation. Everything else has been general feelings about the value of conventions. As for Sinsations, it's a gathering in Chicago, but I could have just as easily been talking about Black Rose, Fetish Flea Market, Columbus Leatherfest, Beat Me in St Louis or any of the many other events that take place across the country.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: BDSM and University (1/13/2006 5:56:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolfie648 As presented it sounded like you promoting yourself (which I have no issue with) by misrepresentation (which I do have issue with).** D (owner of j). Good point, I've just been getting postings from my DC and Baltimore lists weekly about Sinsations so I forget that not everyone is as anal as I am about keeping track of all the conventions going on. Anyone else going to Arisia this weekend? What about Womyn Winter Bash in Atlanta in Feb? And definitely Leather Retreat in June? We should hook up.

Sensualips -> RE: BDSM and University (1/13/2006 8:16:54 AM)
Now you are just making me jealous. I wanna go somewhere fun! :)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: BDSM and University (1/13/2006 8:18:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sensualips Now you are just making me jealous. I wanna go somewhere fun! :) DC/Baltimore...always fun here :) Why not plan for LR? Or BR 06?

Wolfie648 -> RE: BDSM and University (1/20/2006 10:30:25 PM)
quote: In just what way am I misrepresenting myself? I don't take issue with being paid or losing money. I take issue with misrepresentation - which it seemed to me you were doing. please note the word and tense of SEEMED D (owner of j)

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: BDSM and University (1/20/2006 11:02:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spacehippie Ok, not sure how to start this, but I'm gonna try any ways. I read a profile by MistressUni, about how she wanted to start an online group for students who are into or want to be into the scene. Since I myself am one of these students, I was looking forward to hearing more about this. But that hasn’t happened :( So I thought I'd see how many people are interested in such a group, and who would be able to organize it. I'm not the best with computers, so I wouldn’t know how to start a group. But I really would be interested in joining one, and talking to other students and their experiences. Peace out, Spacehippie As a personal note, I wouldn't feel comfortable being a part of an on-campus BDSM group. I would not wish to be "out" among my peers while trying to compete for scholarships, internships, and career opportunities. If the group was community based and not involved in the Associated Student Body, I would consider joining them while studying. However, everyone has different opinions. I have seen little mention of BDSM or Alternative groups while applying to colleges this past fall. LGBT communities seem to be in higher demand, though they are still uncommon outside of major metropolitan areas. If you would like to start a group at your local school, ask your ASB board for any necessary paperwork, then write up a few flyers.

JohnWarren -> RE: BDSM and University (1/21/2006 1:02:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolfie648 quote: In just what way am I misrepresenting myself? I don't take issue with being paid or losing money. I take issue with misrepresentation - which it seemed to me you were doing. please note the word and tense of SEEMED D (owner of j) I repeat. In what way do you think I "seem" to be misrepresenting myself? Personal attacks should at least be specific enough so one can defend one's self. quote: Original attack As presented it sounded like you promoting yourself (which I have no issue with) by misrepresentation (which I do have issue with).** [\quote]

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