RE: how to use your submissive ways...

RE: how to use your submissive ways... (Full Version)

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LPslittleclip -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/28/2009 6:35:50 PM)
in any relationship start with the same thing communicate and clarification. keep listening to him and looking for things that will be positively rewarded. always ask questions when unsure do so respectfully of course. you seem to be well on your way to making him happy having only met twice. i wish you the best on you journey.

AquaticSub -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/28/2009 6:46:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexySassySensual This is not my dom yet, however he had asked me to post that I am under the consideration of ..him.. He is teaching me ...and said this to me.. "dammit girl... use your submissiveness to make me Wanna MAKE YOU HAPPY " Ok ..now I am new to the titles not to the lifestyle ways.. I am new to dating again..and I have been talking to this man, for almost a month now..and met him twice... He is great.. He does have patience..but when he said that ...I feel lost.. How does one use their submissive ways.. I would like some ideas...please.... Erm... I'm not sure that's possible. I can't make Val want to make me happy. He wants to make me happy because I'm me and he loves me. Maybe he means serve more/better/more suited to his tastes so he feels more inclined to indulge you? You'd really have to ask him.

agirl -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/29/2009 6:38:28 AM)
I have to admit that M has always been very clear and concise over the years. I wouldn't want to get to know someone through a veil of inhibiting ways and he didn't either. He's never left me uncertain about anything and I don't have any submissive ways unless I'm actually submitting. Getting to know someone is time consuming enough without putting hurdles up. agirl

OttersSwim -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/29/2009 6:54:41 AM)
While I agree that it may be very different for everyone...I instantly knew what "using submissive ways" means to me. For me, that is proactively serving my Lady. It means getting out of bed with her at 5:45 a.m., ironing her work uniforms, cooking her an egg, brushing her hair out...cleaning up her place, looking after her nails and generally helping her in her life. For me...that is part of submission - acts of service and it engenders a definate response from Her and I am very happy! Hope you can find what "submissive ways" means to your Master. [:)]

SexySassySensual -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/29/2009 7:17:55 AM)
Thank you so much for all your comments and suggestions. I believe that I had made both him and I happy...and that is the key. It was like it was all right there in front of me..and I was not getting it..until I let go. Then it was just who I am...the person he was looking for was just me. I opened my heart..the way I have not with any other...and it was easy. So thank you all again..and I wish you each happiness.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/29/2009 8:51:34 AM)
I think wayyyy too much is trying to happen online. I'd never even be considering serious submission to someone without an offline meeting.

DesFIP -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/29/2009 10:39:38 AM)
Draping myself naked over his knee always gets a good response.

MistressDolly -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/29/2009 11:19:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexySassySensual This is not my dom yet, however he had asked me to post that I am under the consideration of ..him.. He is teaching me ...and said this to me.. "dammit girl... use your submissiveness to make me Wanna MAKE YOU HAPPY " How sweet of him! Lucky lady! ;)

rubberpet -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/30/2009 3:39:04 AM)
I'm with OttersSwim's statement about proactively serving. I do little things to pamper Mistress. I often catch myself rubbing her back (which she absolutely loves) and running my fingers through her hair. I'm constantly showing her affection my holding her hand almost everywhere we are, putting my arm around her, rubbing her arm, and even my hand in her back pocket so I can grab a handful of her tushy. [:D] Hey, it may not be very sub-like, but I am the resident anti-subby and she does have a very sexy tushy! [:D] I cook for her, serve the meal to her, and basically wait on her hand and foot. I paint her nails, give her massages, bathe her, wash her hair, dry her with extra-soft plushy towels, and just generally pamper her like the queen she is. Heck, when we're somewhere together, she doesn't open a single door. I carry her bags when she's shopping, I hold her purse while she's browsing, and follow closely behind like a well trained puppy to hold anything she wants to try on. [:)] I know whenever I drop to all fours, nuzzle against her thighs, and gaze up to her as I whimper a bit, it usually receives very positive feedback. [;)]

Anastasia25 -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/31/2009 8:54:01 AM)
I believe he is asking you to give, without expectation of being rewarded on your part...but simply to make him happy by being of unselfish service to him. This is a mindset that can be cultivated. Try by doing things around the house, like cleaning. When you are scrubbing the floors, think of how nice and clean they will be under his feet, whether or not he notices or thanks you. When you vacuum, think "less dust, means my Master's health and well-being will be improved". When you service him sexually, the attention should be focused on his pleasure only. The other scenario is that you do all these things with a hidden agenda, like "if I do X, he will give me Y."That is being centered on self. So you choose which seems like true submissive behavior. Being rewarded is a privilege, not a right.

SexySassySensual -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/31/2009 10:11:50 AM)
I find that when we are in person it is so much easier to be more submissive. My problem is that he lives 45 mins away...and we talk everyday online or on phone text, we have seen each other in person only twice..so it is a new relationship. But I am growing close to him. And I would like to keep him happy. I am looking for ways to do that. I know that once we see each other more and more..(which he says will happen more often) but in the mean time...what can one do ...to let him know I do care and VERY much appreciate having him in my life. He is very special to me ...and I just want him to know this.

Anastasia25 -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/31/2009 10:33:35 AM)
My Master lives 3000 miles away, yet the love and tenderness are still felt. We see each other every 1.5 months for 2 weeks atleast. Here's the thing. He still puts me on task, like finding other submissives to serve us both and that I train them. The other thing is we talk all the time! He directs me by giving me plenty of things to study and keep myself busy with. He calls me at night to say goodnight and to make sure I don't go to bed too late so that I stay healthy. We have phone sex which is wonderful, because he just knows what drives me wild. I write in a journal which is sent to him weekly. And he has me practice certain sexual techniques and exercises so that when he comes to visit or I visit, I can be of service to him. And I remain loyal, faithful, honest, trustworthy and true to him. He does likewise.

mc1234 -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/31/2009 8:24:54 PM)
OP, I understand that you like this guy a lot, and you're new to submission and even dating at this point. But establishing a D/s relationship really is the same as any other type of relationship. In order to let him know that you're happy being with him, just show him in the normal, everyday ways anyone lets someone else know how much they appreciate the other person. Let your happiness to hear his voice when he calls come through. (my dom always says how loves how I say 'hi' on the phone - so simple, but my contentedness shows through my voice). Send little notes to him through the day, just checking in and letting him know you're thinking of him - perhaps in a flirty way; other times mentioning a movie you want to see and wondering if it's his taste. Get to know one another. Get to know what he likes. What he likes to eat and his hobbies. Ask questions about him. Be curious. I'm not really sure what he means by 'use your submissiveness,' but from your speaking with him it sounds like you're beginning to understand what he wants.

ALAstella -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (1/31/2009 11:50:49 PM)
FAST REPLY The key to submission is being yourself and feeling it. Can you be submissive to someone you hardly know? What value is your submission then? Having an idea won't make you submissive. It's a feeling.

SexySassySensual -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (2/1/2009 7:03:45 AM)
I do understand that the submission is a gift, and cannot be given on a whim....it is to be earned by him...and the more we get to know each other the more of me he has. And I feel I have more of him each day also. It is as any other relationship....except so much deeper. I love absolutely love the feeling as I give him more and more of me...more of my gift..so yes I do understand. Thank you for your kind words...you are so very right..

StormsSlave -> RE: how to use your submissive ways... (2/1/2009 12:20:47 PM)
There are "submissive ways?" Dammit! What page of the manual is that on? I didn't see that?! Do the things that please him. It's that simple. In our house it can be as simple as rolling him a cigarette or making no sound when he inflicts pain. Try a few things. See how he likes them. Ask him. If not, try something else. He probably won't mind being the guinea pig, and you'll have fun, too.

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