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the lifestyle - 1/11/2006 4:59:12 PM

crazychris52285

Posts: 28
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Grand Rapids, MI
Status: offline

ok, i don't know how this'll sound but here goes: i've been on this site for months, and i've still had no luck at all. is it my age, lack of experience, or what that's getting me nowhere? do i just resign and give up as well?

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RE: the lifestyle - 1/11/2006 5:22:57 PM

fergus

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

My Goodness!

YOu've only been on the site for maybe a month!

Have patience!

Just be yourself, and treat everyone with respect. YOu'll do okay.

fergus

(in reply to crazychris52285)

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Post #: 2

RE: the lifestyle - 1/11/2006 5:29:18 PM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

I'll second what Fergus said. Relax.

Just sit back, make friends, learn. Then don't rely on the internet to be your sole osource of eductaion and search for someone. Seek out your local BDSM group. Go to munches, and participate in a person to person setting.

You'll get there...smiles

Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to fergus)

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RE: the lifestyle - 1/11/2006 5:39:06 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

And believe, in yourself, in your dreams, and that all things are possible.

_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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Post #: 4

RE: the lifestyle - 1/11/2006 6:10:51 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazychris52285

ok, i don't know how this'll sound but here goes: i've been on this site for months, and i've still had no luck at all. is it my age, lack of experience, or what that's getting me nowhere? do i just resign and give up as well?

Hi, you may want to work on your profile. Instead of complaining about not getting anywhere on here, perhaps you can talk about what you have to offer a Domina? You have quite a few skills listed on your profile, why not list them on your main profile. "I am a computer expert, I am also a great cook. I would love to spoil you with my culinary skills" something to that effect. Too many times we read profiles of submissives of what they are looking for, what a Mistress can do for them, how they would like this and that. Try being different. Put in your profile what you can do for them, not what they can do for you. You have only been on collarme for a little over a month. Give yourself some time, visit the message boards, do some research. Find out more about yourself and what you are looking for in a D/s relationship. It will happen. Hang in there <s>

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(in reply to crazychris52285)

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Post #: 5

RE: the lifestyle - 1/11/2006 7:34:09 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Sorry to burst the bubble of everyone who wants to find someone online (that's most of us on here) but your best luck, in my not limited experience is to get involved in a face-to-face community -- munch, workshops, conferences, conventions, clubs. whatever is near you.

Now near you may be an hour or more travel so you have to ask yourself what is all of this worth in terms of gas money and time.

Also I note your listing for posts is "vanilla" -- I'd work on changing that. I, myself, would be far more impressed by someone who posts and tries to be come part of this online community than someone who just hangs out.

If I may also suggest expand your horizons. Think beyond finding "the one" or "the only" or a mistress and finding play partners and buddies to talk to first. The more experience you have and the more knowledge you gain the more attractive you may become to a lot of people.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to crazychris52285)

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RE: the lifestyle - 1/12/2006 8:27:45 AM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

it took me ayear to find both of my Owners...

you just have to wait.

why are you in a hurry?
wait for THEE right one...not just..any one.

take care

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to crazychris52285)

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Post #: 7

RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 10:30:22 AM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

I haven't been around this site very long but I sure do see a lot of these type of posts.

Honestly it sounds whinny. Time to rethink the ol strategy.

(in reply to veronicaofML)

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Post #: 8

RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 10:53:45 AM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Sorry to burst the bubble of everyone who wants to find someone online (that's most of us on here) but your best luck, in my not limited experience is to get involved in a face-to-face community -- munch, workshops, conferences, conventions, clubs. whatever is near you.

Now near you may be an hour or more travel so you have to ask yourself what is all of this worth in terms of gas money and time.

Also I note your listing for posts is "vanilla" -- I'd work on changing that. I, myself, would be far more impressed by someone who posts and tries to be come part of this online community than someone who just hangs out.

If I may also suggest expand your horizons. Think beyond finding "the one" or "the only" or a mistress and finding play partners and buddies to talk to first. The more experience you have and the more knowledge you gain the more attractive you may become to a lot of people.

I'm not a vanilla anymore, THANK GAWD!

As to finding somebody on here. Well I'm not seeking but have a friend who is and by just posting an incredible profile she has been hit with over 500 offers. And some are very interesting to say the least. Lots of pretenders on this site but I can assure you there are many legit "MAJOR LEAGUE" lifestyler types around here as well.

I am quite involved in her search, acting as an assistant (what a surprise.) Make no mistake, finding somebody on here will take work, lots of work.

First you need to find somebody that strikes you as a possibility. Then you have to present yourself. Read and study this individuals profile. If possible check out any posts in the forums (if they participate) Your first E-mail contact should be special, yet real, and not over the top with superfluous crap. Make sure you hit all the points on the number as to any info they have requested. Then explain concisely, without flowery exaggerations, why YOU would be desirable and someone they would want. (I’m always telling my “Ma’am” that it is my goal to have her “think” she would never want to be without me. In my mind I always remind myself that there are millions and millions of other subs out there ready to take my place.)

A picture is worth a thousand words. So many pics on here are anything but flattering, and that frankly shocks me. Do yourself up the best you can. This is the attention grabber. Most of us are not graced with ideal physical qualities, but if you do the BEST with what you have it makes a very good impression. Maybe a secondary pic could be more "fun" in nature, but you need to make a splash in your presentation so make that first pic count.

This friend’s profile is not real long. But the verbiage is impressive and the pics are phenomenal. Go check out the profile “blondbluesub4u” and you’ll see what I mean.

< Message edited by TeeGO -- 1/13/2006 10:55:36 AM >

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 11:05:02 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

I'll second TammyJo. Port Huron is not all that far from Detroit, which has a huge BDSM community. Flint isn't that far away either and they have a munch. Check out the listings on http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

As for your advert here. Think of it from a buyer's perspective. Do you really look like that picture? Consider what the expression conveys. Look at the text; have you given someone a reason to contact you?

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 11:15:39 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Great advice above, and I'll add that non crazy folks don't usually don't deliberately run to people who are/call themselves crazy, so I'm thinking that name isn't helping you either, but it could be just me.

M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to crazychris52285)

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RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 1:09:27 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazychris52285

ok, i don't know how this'll sound but here goes: i've been on this site for months, and i've still had no luck at all. is it my age, lack of experience, or what that's getting me nowhere? do i just resign and give up as well?

Chris, I was on CM for nearly a year before I recieved any substantive messages and experiences. Having said that, I'll reflect an earilier comment already made: work on your profile. Lift your head up in a new photo and perhaps smile a little; it's amazing what a simple smile will do (although I should really take my own advice some time on that—I look morbidly pissed in my profile).

More details in your profile are crucial. Submissives have to sell themselves on all their good points; namely attitude and personal philosophy. If you don't point them out, you might get skipped over.

Examine your approach as well. Male submissives "are in high suppply," as one person on this site put it. A Mistress is usually a tremendously busy woman and her time is often limited; make each word count, and above all things, be respectful of her time and attention.

(in reply to crazychris52285)

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Post #: 12

RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 1:33:56 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazychris52285

ok, i don't know how this'll sound but here goes: i've been on this site for months, and i've still had no luck at all. is it my age, lack of experience, or what that's getting me nowhere? do i just resign and give up as well?

Chris,

The very first word in your profile essay and headline is misspelled. Then you go on to immediately announce to the world that you have issues, and are unsure of yourself.

I can see that you're just trying to be honest. However, do you really want to portray the image of having issues, being unsure and careless... but honest?

Whether true or not, it appears as though you may be unknowingly using D/s as a means to process low self-esteem. Most Dommes don't want to get involved in this dynamic, since it's often linked to unresolved guilt or pain. Why should they get caught up in this when there are so many malesubs to choose from?

Also, I would consider posting a different photo. You're a good-looking kid, but you look downtrodden in your photo. IMHO... this serves to further solidify the low self-esteem image you have already inadvertently projected.

If you're going to post a photo at all, I suggest that you:

1) make eye contact with the camera lens when taking your pic
2) hold your head up straight
3) smile confidently, like you're God's gift to Femdoms!

But remember above all that you'll still need to be very patient, even if you have an outstanding profile. As with similiar sites, there are at least as many game-players and outright fakes here than there are genuine Dommes.

As several people have already mentioned, your odds of connecting with a Domme are probably better in real-life settings than they are online.

Good luck!

(in reply to crazychris52285)

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Post #: 13

RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 1:37:44 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
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Hmm... it seems as though amayos said some of the same things I did, as I was typing mine... lol

(in reply to subfever)

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Post #: 14

RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 3:20:24 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

Hmm... it seems as though amayos said some of the same things I did, as I was typing mine... lol

Great minds...

(in reply to subfever)

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Post #: 15

RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 7:02:32 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I'll second TammyJo. Port Huron is not all that far from Detroit, which has a huge BDSM community. Flint isn't that far away either and they have a munch.

There is alot going on here in Michigan if you take the time to really do some looking. I belong to two communities in Flint...both have munches. There are some not far to the north, many things going on in the Detroit area....and I have even been getting a few things coming out of Port Huron. Numerous other things going on in just about any direction.

I would also suggest checking out this link: This is an email notification only group that will send you the dates and times of all events that are registered with them

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MichiganMunches/

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to JohnWarren)

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Post #: 16

RE: the lifestyle - 1/13/2006 9:51:04 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever

Hmm... it seems as though amayos said some of the same things I did, as I was typing mine... lol

Great minds...