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ChainedExistence -> RE: How much is too much? (1/15/2006 11:57:09 AM)
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I see a lot of practical advice on this thread...at the same time, having suffered through depression myself at one time...all that advice simply is washing over someone in this position. When someone is depressed, the advice of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is simply more than you can handle. It's a chore to just wake up and get out of the bed, much less make career decisions and reach out beyond the confines of the narrow world in which you are encased. I finally had to drag myself to a therapist who listened to me cry for weeks and and helped me work out my own problems in the safety of acceptance. Michael, you feel powerless, you lack the power or energy needed to change the situation you are in. Everything seems dark to you..but I would say in your own heart and soul, you have more power than you realize. The main thing that holds you back is probably what held me back..fear of change, and fear of the unknown. Can you really see yourself in a different town, in a different job, in a different lifestyle? I couldn't, but I knew down deep what I wanted and needed . (My very smart therapist said...you already know what you want, you are just afraid...)When I finally could admit that to myself , even the scary unknown was better than my current position. The decision to make changes was frightening, but was ultimately freeing. My entire outlook changed. The skies got bluer, my relationships improved. The hardest part is just deciding to act. Maybe a friendly therapist, a loving friend, or someone who can just sit quietly and listen without judgment will help you see past the things that hold you captive in a cycle of unhappiness and stagnation. I didn't require medication to get past the depression, but I know it worked well for other family members caught in a similar state. Hold on, just take one baby step at a time, and before you know it, things may change in a positive manner for you. If all you do today is write down one thing that you'd like to change, then that's all you do, and be proud of yourself for that act. And it doesn't have to be able some major thing like your career. Organizational gurus will tell you tackling one junk drawer will give you the will to try bigger projects....Pick one tiny thing to change...and follow through on it. It will help you see that change is possible...baby steps...
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