RE: How much is too much?

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RE: How much is too much? - 1/13/2006 8:04:34 AM

LadySiraufgaube

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline

Michael I just looked at your profile and boy you are shooting yourself in the foot with it. You say you are in a vanilla relationship and she comes first no matter what. How on earth do you expect to attract a Mistress witha statemtn like that. Don't you know that every bone in our bodies is deigned to be worship and to always come first? With a lower key approach you might find an understanding Domina who allows you the time to be at home in a crisis.

And your picture.... That long face would sour milk. Can you smile? Put up a picture that would at least make someone take a second look, just just shudder and keep going.

I felt sorry for you in the beggining because it's just as bad finding the right slave at times and the search can seem never ending but when I watched you turn away all these good people help and then saw for myself what you have on offer I have to say you are your own worst enemy.

(in reply to gbgirlz2003)

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Post #: 41

RE: How much is too much? - 1/13/2006 9:41:21 AM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

Get a Car, whether you are getting to go to meetings or so you can go to a grocery store.

I'm just thinking your priorities are out of whack. Your worried about getting a Dom when you don't have a vehicle? I'd suggest getting things together then start looking, you'll feel better about yourself, and be in a better position to meet people.

So you have choices
A, continue as you are going and no one will ever be interested.
So, currently the Dom if you got a Dom she would have to go get you, shop for you(not sure how you do that without a car), go get for everything you'd do. It sounds more like the Dom would be slave to your basic needs.

B, Get the basics of your life in order, and increase your chances.
You could go to meetings to find doms, go to doms once accepted, do things for dom.

It's really quite obvious. You might be the best in the world, but the fact that you are to needy at the moment will put nearly everyone off. You're needy in a way that has nothing to do with the lifestyle.

(in reply to LadySiraufgaube)

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Post #: 42

RE: How much is too much? - 1/14/2006 7:48:21 AM

hannahkissiwaa

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

hello am single 33m from ghana , looking. tell me something

(in reply to yourMissTress)

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Post #: 43

RE: How much is too much? - 1/15/2006 11:57:09 AM

ChainedExistence

Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

I see a lot of practical advice on this thread...at the same time, having suffered through depression myself at one time...all that advice simply is washing over someone in this position. When someone is depressed, the advice of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is simply more than you can handle. It's a chore to just wake up and get out of the bed, much less make career decisions and reach out beyond the confines of the narrow world in which you are encased. I finally had to drag myself to a therapist who listened to me cry for weeks and and helped me work out my own problems in the safety of acceptance. Michael, you feel powerless, you lack the power or energy needed to change the situation you are in. Everything seems dark to you..but I would say in your own heart and soul, you have more power than you realize. The main thing that holds you back is probably what held me back..fear of change, and fear of the unknown. Can you really see yourself in a different town, in a different job, in a different lifestyle? I couldn't, but I knew down deep what I wanted and needed . (My very smart therapist said...you already know what you want, you are just afraid...)When I finally could admit that to myself , even the scary unknown was better than my current position. The decision to make changes was frightening, but was ultimately freeing. My entire outlook changed. The skies got bluer, my relationships improved. The hardest part is just deciding to act. Maybe a friendly therapist, a loving friend, or someone who can just sit quietly and listen without judgment will help you see past the things that hold you captive in a cycle of unhappiness and stagnation. I didn't require medication to get past the depression, but I know it worked well for other family members caught in a similar state. Hold on, just take one baby step at a time, and before you know it, things may change in a positive manner for you. If all you do today is write down one thing that you'd like to change, then that's all you do, and be proud of yourself for that act. And it doesn't have to be able some major thing like your career. Organizational gurus will tell you tackling one junk drawer will give you the will to try bigger projects....Pick one tiny thing to change...and follow through on it. It will help you see that change is possible...baby steps...

(in reply to hannahkissiwaa)

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Post #: 44

RE: How much is too much? - 1/15/2006 12:43:42 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

if you think i'm whining, fine...i've heard it all before. but i see it as a frustrated cry for help. it''s hard on fem subs/slaves to find "The One', it's almost impossible for a male sub/slave to find them.

does anyone have any (positive) suggestions for me?

Well my take on this.. First it might help you to not think of finding "The One"
think of it more as looking to meet women who may have similar interests,
needs, desires, that are congruent with yours.

Second, I have kind of a hard time with the concept of "The One". Even though I am with the first Domina I met and I feel right now that she is the one, I still know the with the complexities of our lives we may not be together for the rest of our lives or maintain the same relationship with one another.

Maybe I am jaded with age but I have been in enough relationships that it is my experience that the one is the one until you out-grow each other and with all honesty and communication feel the need to change the dynamic and move on. This has been my experience, I am not speaking for everyone. I know there Are many couples who withstand the years of time and stay together, but I think in this day and age, even in this lifestyle it is a rarity.

I agree with other's it is probably time for you to get off the computer and go meet people. I also believe if you want it bad enough, you will find a way to it.

*Brightspot

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(in reply to michaelGA)

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Post #: 45