Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Serving my Master


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Serving my Master Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:01:11 PM   
alysia


Posts: 257
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Wales
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Catgirl711

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Im not going to bother because to be honest you probably wont listen.

quote:

ORIGINAL: alysia
alysia is not going to attempt to go into anything else, as like colouredin says, you probably wouldn't listen.  

I mean... you just can't get advice more helpful than that.  I only hope more people begin to fill this thread with such knowledge and consideration for someone who is asking sincere questions....
which one is the eye-rolling smiley?


Well if you look alysia did actually answer her her question which was how to serve him.  She didn't ask for any other advice or for comments on the rest of her post.

(in reply to Catgirl711)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:21:02 PM   
ODschainedangel


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		true she did not ask for anything more. I feel if we all set and watch a person headed at 100mph into a train and do nothing then we are just as guilty as they are. They may not listen but as fellow lifestylers I feel we should say something when we see a person headed into an area of danger.
Just my two cents worth

Angel

(in reply to alysia)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:29:05 PM   
urlittleprincess


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
"Laylah, you joined CM almost three years ago. It says on your forum profile stats that you joined in February of 2006. In my book, that's not "new to the scene".

Was I not perfectly clear?


when i looked at her profile, it said she joined january 30/09....??
 
laylah, i started online with mine...and it was so exciting to me!  to 'feel' that element of control where in the past i had never been controlled by anyone...to feel that He truly understood me!  until we actually met in person and sorted out the reality from the fantasy we had to understand that the whole relationship was based on hopes and a big maybe. we were together long distance (which has its own challenges) for 2 years and i just moved in with Him at the start of november!  amazing!
 
you do realize that at this point it is actually you choosing whether or not to follow his commands, right?   eventually you might get to that point in real life where you follow his word whether you want to or not, but as others have mentioned first you have to actually meet...and determine whether or not both of you feel an attraction and wish to continue. 
 
to serve online just do as he says, but protect yourself...no graphic camming (can be recorded or broadcasted) if the guy is not who he says and is less than upstanding.  make sure you use the same safety precautions you would when meeting ANY person from the net.  in public etc.  i know you feel such a sense of trust for this man, but truly, you do not know him.
 
to serve in real life is way different....you have to humble yourself and do as you are told...depending on your personality, submissive or not, that is not always easy....but is usually very rewarding!!
 
feel free to email me if you want to talk, otherwise i wish you all the best...and remember to be safe!!!!  :)

< Message edited by urlittleprincess -- 1/30/2009 3:37:34 PM >

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:29:59 PM   
Morniel


Posts: 60
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Wow there's so much wrong here that it's hard to even decide where to start.

First of all, as someone above said, it's pretty hard to watch an accident about to occurr and not try to stop it, or try to help prevent it.

Second, if you're calling some online-phone contact "Master" and you're cybering or phonesexing, then you need to wake up and realise that you're ROLEPLAYING.  You've never met this person, you don't know anything other than the personality he is projecting over the two fairly impersonal media.

Next, you state that you've got a boyfriend.  You're with someone in a relationship that's intimate enough to include physical closeness and sex, but you're involved with someone else on the phone/online?  That's called cheating, unless you've informed your boyfriend and he's all right with a "poly" situation, or all right with you flirting and "playing" with this other man while you're still supposed to be committed to him.

Further, with this "Master" or any other -- no one can tell you how to serve him, or what to do for him, or how to submit to him, or how to please him in bed, or how to please him around the house -- EXCEPT that master.  What pleases one person as far as breakfast, might make another person vomit.  What one person thinks looks sexy on you in the way of clothing, another person might think makes you look like a frumpy old maid.  What pleases one man in bed tonight, may not please that same man tomorrow -- and may not please another man, ever.

And as a side note, that "tease you till you're ready to climax then not let you" is not punishment.  That's sex play, and hasn't anything to do with correcting you or disciplining you for misbehaviour.

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:31:08 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ODschainedangel

true she did not ask for anything more. I feel if we all set and watch a person headed at 100mph into a train and do nothing then we are just as guilty as they are. They may not listen but as fellow lifestylers I feel we should say something when we see a person headed into an area of danger.
Just my two cents worth

Angel


We know next to nothing about her or her relationship, just one tiny post in which she said she was very happy. maybe it will be not what she wants maybe it will we dont know. All we do is speculate and often frustrate the OP. Also I dont agree that anyone has an obligation to anyone else simply because they are on the same website. I dont mean that in a nasty way.

If someone is wrapped up in a relationship will they really give two shits about what random strangers on a message board think? Hell I know I wouldnt, even when people try to make it personal.  

Often we turn threads like these into the direction that we think they should go, find the hidden meaning in the post and despense advice as though we are the authority on the matter. If people were to take it as gospel that would be very sad. Often those who are most sure of themselves are the worst ones to take advice from. Lots of hot air normally.

If this girl was struggling with her relationship she would have said so, she isnt. She has made her decision so more power to her. As I said there is no point talking about our experience or what we think because she wont listen, she isnt in the right mind frame to listen. If it doesnt work out she will get a far more valuable lesson than anything we here could teach her.

Sorry ODschainedangel, that wasnt really to you more how I was feeling about many threads that this happens with. I just wanted to say it. Please dont take it personally.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:33:10 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Looks like another news story to tell the world how terrible we are. After they've found the body, figured out who she was, searched her home for clues, then her computer.......voila'!!!!

More sick BDSM freaks torturing and killing innocent stupid girls.The media will love it.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to laylah)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:45:59 PM   
LarabysLair


Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline 		Hey, coloured

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

We know next to nothing about her or her relationship, just one tiny post in which she said she was very happy. maybe it will be not what she wants maybe it will we dont know. All we do is speculate and often frustrate the OP. Also I dont agree that anyone has an obligation to anyone else simply because they are on the same website. I dont mean that in a nasty way.

If someone is wrapped up in a relationship will they really give two shits about what random strangers on a message board think? Hell I know I wouldnt, even when people try to make it personal.  


First of all, nice sidetrack.

Secondly, why should people on a message board need or want to know every detail of a posters life to be able to make a comment or speak into their life words of encouragement or of caution?

It seems to me that some folks just need to point out the error of others ways by bringing up the flimsiest and most obvious things and saying that therefore everyone should shut the hell up and quit posting what was not asked for. Of course we aren't going to want to read a biography of another persons relational life. Not to menion the fact that a good deal of posters can't be completely honest on these boards (sometimes for obvious reasons and some not so) and are likely to be only as honest to the boards as they are with themselves, anyway. And, don't expect people to ask the things they haven't even considered... they haven't even considered them... pretty obvious, huh.

If I were to ask, "how should one drink anti-freeze in the most optimum way?" I would fully expect to get people answering questions I had not asked. Wouldn't you? Should someone here castigate them and tell them to quit posting if they don't want to address the question directly? Wow! I hope not, but some people apparently are doing just that.

Not meant at all to point any fingers at you, coloured. It's just a common thing on these boards and you did at least post a few good posts to the OP. Good luck.

Call me LL

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 3:52:58 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LarabysLair
Not meant at all to point any fingers at you, coloured. It's just a common thing on these boards and you did at least post a few good posts to the OP. Good luck.

Call me LL


I have come to the conclusion that being vicious gets you off and that rocks for you, but sorry hun I dont really want to be part of it.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to LarabysLair)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 4:13:12 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laylah


I can't explain how satisfying my relationship is with my master, and I want to learn how to satisfy his every desire.
Then you'll have to do your homework because it's very hard to serve someone you haven't taken the time to get to know.

Be observant. Does he chuckle when you're uncomfortable or does it make him frown? Does he like it when you ask for things or does he prefer to guide everything himself?

Listen to his inflection when he speaks. Pay attention to the little clues that he will give to you that are not verbal.

When you meet him, watch to see what makes his eyebrow raise or causes a crease at the corner of his mouth. Is the crease a smirk or a smile? Learn to tell the difference so you can repeat behaviors he finds endearing and shed those behaviors he does not wish you to have.

Be creative and, if allowed, come up with scenes or scenarios that you think he will enjoy based on your observation of his likes and dislikes.

He will tell you many things, but his body language, demeanor and tones will tell you many more. Ask him questions .. everything and anything you can think of from his favorite color to what sort of breakfast cereal his likes. Ask him if there are areas he doesn't wish to share with you, then respect those. Share all the areas of your life he wishes to know and if he wants full transparency, give that to him as soon as you feel able to do so.

Take baby steps, you'll still get places with them and your footing will be solid and sure without the need to back step because you went too quickly for your own comfort.

He's a human which means he's going to have foibles and flaws. Make allowances for his imperfections .. ask him to make allowances for yours.

Be truthful even when you think it may hurt him. He'll appreciate it more in the long run even if it, temporarily, seems like a bad idea. Be truthful with yourself.. even if that hurts more than you think you can bear .. you'll bear it.

Be yourself so that you'll know if any compatibility has the chance for long term or not. Allow tweaking, but try to avoid major or radical change to your personality just to satisfy a whim or fancy. Be open to exploration, inspiration, exaltation and illumination.

Have a blast .. laugh, live .. giggle, wiggle and fill as many of your moments with joy as you can. If things don't work out, it's okay to grieve and it's okay to move on and keep trying and if things do work out, enjoy the wild ride! It's going to be amazing. :)

Good luck!


< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 1/30/2009 4:19:17 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to laylah)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 7:06:25 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		Well, the OP hasn't returned so answering the original question may just be pissing in the wind.  I did want to say that I was surprised by some of the statements in others' replies here though.  I don't know WHY I'm surprised....pretty normal stereotypical answers that happen to be in error....but I am.

First of all, we all know you don't have to be physically together for one to serve another.  It helps in many ways (the physical ones) but isn't necessary for "serving" to be present.  There are threads upon threads upon threads of how couples who are apart can manage to do so until they are together.  I was owned by Master for well over a year before we actually lived together.  I served Him well every single day.  It can be and is done quite often for many.

Secondly, another poster was surprised she called him "Master" before meeting him.  I called Him "Master" before we met and it worked out great for us.  Together going on three years and married for nearly half that time.  Some people know right away who their Master is.  Doesn't necessarily HAVE TO be after they've met.  Rare, but true, at least in our case.

Next, just because the OP created an account here back in 2006 doesn't mean she's not "new to the scene."  Anyone can happen along and create a profile.  Doesn't mean they're actually involved in any "scene." 

As I said, just surprised by these common misconceptions popping up again............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to laylah)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 7:29:08 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		You really should wait till you meet this person in real life to decide if he is the one. People pretend to be all sorts of things online and on the phone. I see lots of things that need time to develop and not rushing into things would be helpful. I hope you listen to the advice that has been given.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to laylah)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 7:40:44 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ODschainedangel
I suggest you look up some stories about girls who go meet a man they have only chatted with online and phone and allowed them to tie them up and collar them. Most end in death or so hurt they wish they were dead.

WTF??????

This message board alone is full of stories of people who safely played on the first meet.  I've done it lots of times.  Now, I didn't "collar" anyone... but then, that's not my kink, so why the hell should I?  And I haven't sent anyone to the hospital or the morgue yet.

Posts like that are the flip side of "living online" -- thinking every man is a rapist or a murderer, instead of thinking the man online must love you because he says so.  Well, get a grip.  99.99999% of BDSM first meets end in survival, not death.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 10:17:31 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: urlittleprincess

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
"Laylah, you joined CM almost three years ago. It says on your forum profile stats that you joined in February of 2006. In my book, that's not "new to the scene".

Was I not perfectly clear?


when i looked at her profile, it said she joined january 30/09....??
 


No, her forum profile. Not her Cmail profile. When you see the list of "Ask a Master" threads, listed next to the names of the threads are the number of hit, replies, the latest post, and the thread starter. click on her name under "thread starter" and you'll see her forum "member profile". Under "member stats" there, it shows that she joined 2/25/2006. (Am I the only one who looks at those things?)

You can also see that "joined" date right under her vanilla cone, here.

And to slaveluci: you are correct, she might have just come here years ago, looked around and left. That would explain the cluelessness of the original post. If she'd have stuck around all that time, she could have learned a lot.

I thought I smelled bullshit, so I called it, that's all.

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 1/30/2009 10:20:40 PM >

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to urlittleprincess)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Serving my Master - 1/30/2009 10:55:55 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ODschainedangel

I suggest you look up some stories about girls who go meet a man they have only chatted with online and phone and allowed them to tie them up and collar them. Most end in death or so hurt they wish they were dead.

It amazes me that people even would allow a person they have never meet before in person to do things like this.



*blink*


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 12:12:06 AM   
ODschainedangel


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: ODschainedangel
I suggest you look up some stories about girls who go meet a man they have only chatted with online and phone and allowed them to tie them up and collar them. Most end in death or so hurt they wish they were dead.

WTF??????

This message board alone is full of stories of people who safely played on the first meet.  I've done it lots of times.  Now, I didn't "collar" anyone... but then, that's not my kink, so why the hell should I?  And I haven't sent anyone to the hospital or the morgue yet.

Posts like that are the flip side of "living online" -- thinking every man is a rapist or a murderer, instead of thinking the man online must love you because he says so.  Well, get a grip.  99.99999% of BDSM first meets end in survival, not death.



I should have said Many not Most. It still does not change the fact people need to be safe when meeting people for the first time. They still need to have safe calls in place. They also need to meet in public and I truely do not feel playing with a person or having sex with them in a first meeting is a good thing.
You are very right is many happy ending stories online. I meet my Master online and later in reallife but I did use safe calls and I even had a friend take down his plate number on his car before I got into it with him. Now I have been living with him almost 5 years. We have talked about the safty procations I had in place and he is glad I was wise enough to use them even with him.
I  do not feel in this day and time you should go off half cocked in sub frezzy and meet a Master or Mistress and give your total control to them on a first meeting. The Dom and the sub both need time to learn more about each other. Online you can talk for hours and learn many things but face to face meetings tell you more. How each person reacts to what is said, a look in their eyes all things that can tell you about a person. Online is great for getting to know each other on one level but reallife is going to another level and should have it's own time to grow trust within. Just common sense should tell people not to give all control in a first meeting and not to go playing and having sex in a first meeting. I guess sub frezzy can be stronger than common sense sometimes.

I do however stand corrected when I said Most I should have said Many end up dead or hurt not Most or all.

I still stand on the rest of what i said.  One case is of a person known as SlaveMaster. Do a google on that person and you might think twice about meeting and letting one tie you up. 

Angel

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 12:25:15 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Most end in death or so hurt they wish they were dead.

Most? umm... no... as in "not even close". While warning someone of the dangers of playing with a stranger on first meet is fine, this is bullshit. Are there people online who are bad actors and would hurt someone if they could? Yes. Is that what happens most times when people play on a first meet? No.

To the OP- Your question was answered in the first few posts. The only person who can really tell you how to serve is him. That said, reading and learning is always a good idea, so I'm glad you are venturing onto the boards.

[Edit]- I just saw OD's response. I'll let others deal with the whole "safe call" and "sub frenzy" cans of worms


< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 1/31/2009 12:31:08 AM >

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 4:35:56 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

She's way past that point.  She's cheating and seriously caught up in the naughty/freedom parts and he's whispering all the words that make her wet at the right time.

You serve him like he tells you to serve him.


Agreed. She won't listen to any other advice. Just let someone know where you are.
Get his name and personal information before "indulging".

Be careful (she won't listen, but ... I said it)

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 5:32:45 AM   
laylah


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for your advice. My boyfriend is aware of this other relationship and is OK with me experimenting with my sexuality.

I'm not comfortable enough to start going out to bondage clubs etc just yet, which is why I've decided to try out this online. I've found it to be everything that I could have wanted in a sexual sense and I do feel comfortable with this guy.

I think that I would give it much more time before we were to meet up, if that would happen. Only time will tell. I've been reading up what I can online, it's difficult to find the information I want and I truly value everyone taking the time to give me your advice (whether it be positive or negative, it's good to see things from both perspectives).

I also created my profile about 10 minutes before I made the original post, so I'm not sure why it's showing up as 2006.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 10:16:01 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well isn't this one of the strangest threads I've read in a long time.  From "many" first encounters ending in harm or death (WTF?) to the definition of "kinky sex" now including masturbation while someone talks dirty to you on the phone.  By the way, lots of people are good at spinning fantasies (on the phone or in a story), but turn out to be sorely lacking when it comes time to actually DO it.

OP, I would say give it LESS time, not MORE time, before you meet up.  Instead of investing a lot more time in what is right now just a fantasy in your head, why not hurry up and meet and see if there is a connection at all?

And before anyone jumps on it, by "fantasy in your head", I mean that you have not met this person, don't know what they're like in real life, therefore, you have an impression of him in your head, that may or may not mimic reality.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to laylah)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 10:26:52 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I have to agree with Cali.  Why not meet him soon and see if there is an attraction beyond on-line between you?  At that point you can decide if/how to proceed.  It seems silly to waste a ton of time with on-line stuff, unless that is what you are in to.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Serving my Master Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094