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RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 10:47:44 AM

Catgirl711

Posts: 41
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Also I dont agree that anyone has an obligation to anyone else simply because they are on the same website.

No, maybe you don't. But there are many of us who believe that "we ARE our brother's keeper" and it is only through that attitude that we can learn to work together as a society (and I mean the world, sweetie, not just bdsm).

That attitude reminds me of the people who stood on the sidewalk after the elderly man got hit by a car. Nobody ran to his side to see if he was ok, nobody called the cops or 911, in fact, one girl was seen taking pictures of this poor elderly man laying in the street, cars continued to drive past him. He died later. After the cops who were driving by happened to see him, because again NOBODY called 911. You can find the security video on Youtube.
If somebody wanted to go swimming in shark-infested waters, I would do everything I could to stop them. You sound as if you would say, it's not my business what they want to do.
Perhaps you only are like that online. And I pray that is not how you treat people in real life. And I pray when your time comes to need help from a stranger you are not left abandoned (or thrown a quarter and told to call someone who cares).

< Message edited by Catgirl711 -- 1/31/2009 10:49:14 AM >

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 41

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 12:51:59 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for the personality analysis, ill just warn everyone. In future if you feel you want to insult me please could you do it via the messaging service here.

_____________________________

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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Catgirl711)

Post #: 42

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 12:54:00 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Catgirl711
But there are many of us who believe that "we ARE our brother's keeper"

I have seen no indication that you believe that, Catgirl. Most of what you write is vitriolic and confrontational.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Catgirl711)

Post #: 43

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 12:55:16 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
if you feel you want to insult me please could you do it via the messaging service here.

You've got mail, colouredin!

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 44

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 1:12:59 PM

ODschainedangel

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline

I can agree it is better to know if you will hit it off in person. All I have said here is it should be done in a safe way. After posting here last night I went and done some google searches on meeting people from online. There are tons of sites out there to give tips on meeting the first time. Many ideas but somethings they have in common is , do so in public, have a safe call, tell another who you are going with and where, and to keep things public not to go off alone to have sex or play. Is nothinng wrong with trying to live out a dream just do it in a safe way.

Angel

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 45

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 1:30:59 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Catgirl711

Ya'll know newbies don't know how to ask the right questions. Quit playing with them.

In my experiences, newbies frequently don't care about the validity of their relationships and get pissy when you answer anything but the direction question they asked.

It's the whole "your parents hate him so you like him more thing". She'll probably get burned by the situation she's put herself in and, hopefully, she'll learn from it. There are some mistakes people have to make for themselves.

Now, if she does learn from the wisdom of those choosing to provide more than what was asked for, that's great. But people really shouldn't be snarky about those who decided it probably wouldn't make a difference. Particularly if they are going to complain about other's being snarky.

For all we know, the boyfriend helped her find this guy and all she needs is advice on how to better serve him. I'll suggest caution in the meeting up to the OP but there are plenty of people on these forums who didn't use caution and are still alive. It's all about what the OP is comfortable with. I can't know that anything is a trainwreck until I know more.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Catgirl711)

Post #: 46

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 1:37:10 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Catgirl711

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Also I dont agree that anyone has an obligation to anyone else simply because they are on the same website.

No, maybe you don't. But there are many of us who believe that "we ARE our brother's keeper" and it is only through that attitude that we can learn to work together as a society (and I mean the world, sweetie, not just bdsm).

Nothing in the OP suggests anything that dangerous. If you stick around the forums and talk to people, there are tons who have survived first meetings that lead to play - including me. Some have even brought them directly back to their houses.

Is that advisable? I'd say no but it doesn't mean that you don't care about other people because you don't feel every newbie needs to be wrapped up in cotton and protected from the big bad world. These are adults, not children, who should know some basic safety and relationship skills. I believe firmly in helping people and creating a better society - and sometimes that is done by letting people skin their knees. I doubt the OP's life is really in danger, only her emotions. It will hurt and it might cost her her boyfriend. But being your brother's keeper doesn't mean protecting them from all hurts, it means looking out for their long-term good.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Catgirl711)

Post #: 47

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 2:28:18 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ODschainedangel

After posting here last night I went and done some google searches on meeting people from online. There are tons of sites out there to give tips on meeting the first time.

A preponderance of websites means zip... anyone can make a website, doesn't lend the information any more credence just by it existing.

What I do not understand is your extreme response to the idea that she is going to meet this guy. "Will I live to see another day"... "have made out your will"... wow, just wow. It's hard to even know what to say, other than, I would hope that anyone who reads that sort of information keeps on reading to find more information.

If this is an example of being your brother's keeper, I'll stick with being an only child.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to ODschainedangel)

Post #: 48

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 6:08:32 PM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Dreamerdreaming, Hello:)

quote:

Laylah, you joined CM almost three years ago. It says on your forum profile stats that you joined in February of 2006. In my book, that's not "new to the scene".

I just wanted to point out something, though it might not be the OP's case. Under my name it shows I joined in 2006, but I never started to post until 2008. The reason for that was I thought this was a dating site after I joined, and that was not my intent. In 2008 someone told me there were message boards here, so I came back on the site and educated myself:) So perhaps, the joining date is immaterial in some cases.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 49

RE: Serving my Master - 1/31/2009 6:29:54 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

oceanwynds,

(BTW I like your screen name too. You are like the ocean: beautiful, and deep... And like the wind: gentle, yet strong... but I digress...)

You and Slaveluci are correct, of course. Even my own "joined" date is misleading since I have been here off and on, in different incarnations since early 2006.

Points to anyone who can PM me one of my previous screen names.... ;o)

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 50

RE: Serving my Master - 2/3/2009 9:45:31 AM

DomM&SubK

Posts: 64
Joined: 11/21/2008
Status: offline

Cat Girl I would also like to know of where these site and the information can be found. I am a Collared sub. My Dom and i have been partners for 2 years and i wanting to get more in tume with my submisive side. At first i was very Scared of it but with his help i have found that i like getting him his coffee every morning and taking care of him in the ways that i do.

And now to the young lady who started this post all i can tell you is yes only the Master can tell you how to best serve him but you do need to be carefull as well as HONEST with both men. But i also belive that this "online Master" is just that a net surfer that likes making you Cam for him and such. But maybe we are all wrong and dont know every thing as well and for that matter do you know every thing about him as well. How old is he REALLY? Does he have a FAMILY and WIFE? and do they know about you or are you a play toy on the side? How far away does he live from you? So please think about all of these before you meet some strange man in a hotel. Sub K

(in reply to Catgirl711)

Post #: 51

RE: Serving my Master - 2/5/2009 11:49:14 PM

bound4more

Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I can't explain how satisfying my relationship is with my master, and I want to learn how to satisfy his every desire.

Wow - so much satisfaction without having ever met him. Amazing. Well now, you say you want to satisfy his every desire? How about if his desire is for you to scrub his floors everyday, or clean his toilet with your tongue? How about if he wants you to fuck his dog? Or maybe he wants you to walk down the street naked until you're arrested. You have no idea what his every desire is. Please, take some time to get to know one another. Lust is not submission or dominance - it's lust.

_____________________________

You can tell who someone really is by how they act

(in reply to laylah)

Post #: 52

RE: Serving my Master - 2/6/2009 4:50:18 AM

Knite064

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: laylah

I can't explain how satisfying my relationship is with my master, and I want to learn how to satisfy his every desire.

Then you'll have to do your homework because it's very hard to serve someone you haven't taken the time to get to know.

Be observant. Does he chuckle when you're uncomfortable or does it make him frown? Does he like it when you ask for things or does he prefer to guide everything himself?

Listen to his inflection when he speaks. Pay attention to the little clues that he will give to you that are not verbal.

When you meet him, watch to see what makes his eyebrow raise or causes a crease at the corner of his mouth. Is the crease a smirk or a smile? Learn to tell the difference so you can repeat behaviors he finds endearing and shed those behaviors he does not wish you to have.

Be creative and, if allowed, come up with scenes or scenarios that you think he will enjoy based on your observation of his likes and dislikes.

He will tell you many things, but his body language, demeanor and tones will tell you many more. Ask him questions .. everything and anything you can think of from his favorite color to what sort of breakfast cereal his likes. Ask him if there are areas he doesn't wish to share with you, then respect those. Share all the areas of your life he wishes to know and if he wants full transparency, give that to him as soon as you feel able to do so.

Take baby steps, you'll still get places with them and your footing will be solid and sure without the need to back step because you went too quickly for your own comfort.

He's a human which means he's going to have foibles and flaws. Make allowances for his imperfections .. ask him to make allowances for yours.

Be truthful even when you think it may hurt him. He'll appreciate it more in the long run even if it, temporarily, seems like a bad idea. Be truthful with yourself.. even if that hurts more than you think you can bear .. you'll bear it.

Be yourself so that you'll know if any compatibility has the chance for long term or not. Allow tweaking, but try to avoid major or radical change to your personality just to satisfy a whim or fancy. Be open to exploration, inspiration, exaltation and illumination.

Have a blast .. laugh, live .. giggle, wiggle and fill as many of your moments with joy as you can. If things don't work out, it's okay to grieve and it's okay to move on and keep trying and if things do work out, enjoy the wild ride! It's going to be amazing. :)

Good luck!

Hello laylah
I think the post ive put in quotes above says it all (apologies to the poster for "taking" it but it really does sum it all up as as i see the original post)
There is another post i wanted to add to this one that creates a centre balance but as i have no clue how to so ill post it seperately.
I ve only met one person i talked with online and she was exactly as she potrayed herself online and we went onto having a wonderful 3 year journey partially together(lived quitea distance apart but met as often as possible )
I did talk with one other that i felta similiar chemistry could exist face to face but a few twists and turns later we have ended up being very good friends that kept in touch.

Of course as others state their is risk in meeting someone from online but common sense kicks in and no matter how well you think you know the person always take plenty time getting to know them when you do meet before putting yourself into a vulnerable situation and make sure that a friend knows(i instructed the girl i met to take a friend with her for our very first meet (who obviously gave us time alone to go for coffee and time together just talking )
Be well

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 53

RE: Serving my Master - 2/6/2009 4:53:09 AM

Knite064

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bound4more

quote:

I can't explain how satisfying my relationship is with my master, and I want to learn how to satisfy his every desire.

Wow - so much satisfaction without having ever met him. Amazing. Well now, you say you want to satisfy his every desire? How about if his desire is for you to scrub his floors everyday, or clean his toilet with your tongue? How about if he wants you to fuck his dog? Or maybe he wants you to walk down the street naked until you're arrested. You have no idea what his every desire is. Please, take some time to get to know one another. Lust is not submission or dominance - it's lust.

A very good and sobering post.

This was the post i referred to laylah so its all a question of balance and common sense

Be well

(in reply to bound4more)

Post #: 54

RE: Serving my Master - 2/11/2009 3:49:10 PM

WiseCracknSadist

Posts: 163
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

Why ask us? We're not him. While we can tell you what we like in the end we can only taint you by putting ideas in your head that he may or may not like which could lead to disappointment.

You can serve him by being open, honest,loving, forgiving, understanding, and obeying.

(in reply to ODschainedangel)

Post #: 55

RE: Serving my Master - 2/17/2009 3:58:53 AM

Crissyms

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline

Please forgive me if I'm not suppose to post here, just realized where I was posting and do appologize if I shouldn't have posted.

As far as how to please Him, only He knows that....

Like others before me, I won't comment on most of what was said but I will say be very careful. I suggest meeting first at like a coffee shop just to get to know each other and even then, have two safe calls (where you let someone know exactly where you'll be at and have them call at 2 dif times while your out to make sure all is well). If you're really inexperienced in the area, I also suggest a lot of reading up on what all is involved in a collaring. You are here, that's a start but I think you should also make sure you know what your getting into (as much as possible anyway). But hey, what do I know...I'm still looking for that first rl experience but when it happens, I will do as I was told and meet for coffee and have two safe calls.

< Message edited by Crissyms -- 2/17/2009 4:01:54 AM >

(in reply to ODschainedangel)

Post #: 56

RE: Serving my Master - 2/17/2009 8:51:51 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Crissyms

Please forgive me if I'm not suppose to post here, just realized where I was posting and do appologize if I shouldn't have posted.

Crissyms, this is a public forum. You are welcome to post here.

Welcome to collarme. Explore, and have FUN!

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Crissyms)

Post #: 57

RE: Serving my Master - 2/17/2009 10:33:34 AM

Crissyms

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: Crissyms

Please forgive me if I'm not suppose to post here, just realized where I was posting and do appologize if I shouldn't have posted.

Crissyms, this is a public forum. You are welcome to post here.

Welcome to collarme. Explore, and have FUN!

Thank you very much. I wasn't sure with the topic it was posted on. Thank you :)

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 58

RE: Serving my Master - 2/17/2009 11:07:44 AM

MyWorldCT

Posts: 98
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline

All you really need is common sense. Lots of solid advice in here (in between the disagreements). As a Dom, I also like to know what I am getting into before I even remove my coat. I hate coffee (sorry, but I do), but meet him for lunch and see if he pays or not (first test there... does he have enough money to support you?).

Does his initial smile make you comfortable, make you hot, or make you squeemish? Then go from there...

Good luck, stay safe and have fun.

Ohhh... Welcome Crissyms

< Message edited by MyWorldCT -- 2/17/2009 11:08:46 AM >

(in reply to Crissyms)

Post #: 59

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