RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?)

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 1/31/2009 5:24:53 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Some people are very very busy, and it is indeed weeks before they can come online. I would recommend being patient on that front.

However, I wouldn't consider someone who replied in the manner you said they did, to be someone I'd care to continue talking with. Nobody has the right to tell me where my place is, or what lines I stepped on, if I have not agreed to be their submissive yet, and we're just beginning to exchange emails.

quote:

ORIGINAL: azsubron

i am curious on other subs/ slaves take on this. i have noticed on various times when email communicating with Doms/ Masters, especially in the beginning introduction phase, that a number of these Doms/ Masters relish playing the elusive communication game (?). i do not mean instant email responses but messages that may take a week or so before receiving any sort of response. Several that that contacted me and exchanged information/ thoughts and i replied to, only to wait a week or more for any sort of response. When following up with an email inquiring as to whether they had received my message i was told that i was an impertinent sub and had stepped out of my place and in one case, called nasty names and more.
Perhaps it's just wanna-be Doms and Masters that seem to do this the most? The email wanker-be's? My line of thought is that if there is any sort of relationship potential or attraction, that it is to everyone's benefit to keep open the communication even if to say " I am busy and can not respond properly now". Is this elusiveness a game that so many Doms/ Masters play or just plain rudeness?
i had a very loving and special Master for 3 years and perhaps was a bit spoiled by our special relationship. Communication was always open and followed through with and our relationship blossomed into a great friendship that no longer fit our Master/ sub relationship hence we remain now as very good friends.
Am i reading into things incorrectly? Is politely inquiring as to whether one had received my message after no response after a period of time truly a bad thing? Is writing off these potential Masters for this communication lapse an error?
Feedback and thoughts are appreciated..
thanks

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 1/31/2009 5:35:07 PM

YourhandMyAss

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From: Sacramento
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It's not always a case of being interested in returning your email. Some times people loose their internet connection or some shit comes up and there's no time to come online and say hey, I'm having a shit storm right now and will come back later.

One time I hadn't heard from someone I emailed , in like 3 weeks turned out some serious shit went down and she was in the hospital for 3 months.

Course with friends it's different, but well I just don't feel personally, if your email isn't responded to in a few days, that they're not interested.

Now if it's 3 or 4 or 5 weeks, yeah not interested.

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I would find it annoying.

You can use CM to see if they have opened your message or not.

If someone isn't interested enough to respond within a day or so of receiving your email, you should probably just leave them alone.

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Post #: 22

RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 1/31/2009 7:08:56 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

I suppose it's a matter of personality - I reply when I get an interesting message.

Yeah, or when the chick has big tits.

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Post #: 23

RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 1/31/2009 11:12:21 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Yeah, or when she mentions wanting to attack your humpable bald head while you're sleeping. Maybe the OP just isn't sending the right messages?

Cali

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 1/31/2009 11:20:24 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: azsubron

i am curious on other subs/ slaves take on this. i have noticed on various times when email communicating with Doms/ Masters, especially in the beginning introduction phase, that a number of these Doms/ Masters relish playing the elusive communication game (?). i do not mean instant email responses but messages that may take a week or so before receiving any sort of response. Several that that contacted me and exchanged information/ thoughts and i replied to, only to wait a week or more for any sort of response. When following up with an email inquiring as to whether they had received my message i was told that i was an impertinent sub and had stepped out of my place and in one case, called nasty names and more.
Perhaps it's just wanna-be Doms and Masters that seem to do this the most? The email wanker-be's? My line of thought is that if there is any sort of relationship potential or attraction, that it is to everyone's benefit to keep open the communication even if to say " I am busy and can not respond properly now". Is this elusiveness a game that so many Doms/ Masters play or just plain rudeness?
i had a very loving and special Master for 3 years and perhaps was a bit spoiled by our special relationship. Communication was always open and followed through with and our relationship blossomed into a great friendship that no longer fit our Master/ sub relationship hence we remain now as very good friends.
Am i reading into things incorrectly? Is politely inquiring as to whether one had received my message after no response after a period of time truly a bad thing? Is writing off these potential Masters for this communication lapse an error?
Feedback and thoughts are appreciated..
thanks

If you haven't heard back then it most likely means they aren't interested. If you continue to hound them then you've just annoyed them.
If someone write me who I find interesting, you can bet your ass I'm writing back...

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/1/2009 3:52:27 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

I suppose it's a matter of personality - I reply when I get an interesting message.

Yeah, or when the chick has big tits.

Marie, you'll always mean far more to me than simply being an over-sized set of mammary glands.

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/1/2009 10:28:55 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

It's not always a case of being interested in returning your email. Some times people loose their internet connection or some shit comes up and there's no time to come online and say hey, I'm having a shit storm right now and will come back later.

One time I hadn't heard from someone I emailed , in like 3 weeks turned out some serious shit went down and she was in the hospital for 3 months.

Course with friends it's different, but well I just don't feel personally, if your email isn't responded to in a few days, that they're not interested.

Now if it's 3 or 4 or 5 weeks, yeah not interested.
quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I would find it annoying.

You can use CM to see if they have opened your message or not.

If someone isn't interested enough to respond within a day or so of receiving your email, you should probably just leave them alone.

I agree 100% with yohma. Maybe the people you sent mail to are unfortunately caught up in a major scat storm. it could happen. Things do come up which trump getting back to someone on CM.

I was recently messaging some sub and I believed that we were starting to develop a pretty solid connection. We decided on a time the following week to finally get together when.....poof! she completely disappeared. No returning messages or anything. What a complete twat!

About a month and a half later I get a message from her. She explained that her life had been in a complete uproar and that sadly her mother had passed away from a lengthy battle with diabetes and that she had just under gone a radical surgical procedure for she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was great to hear from her and she was so happy to once again be back in contact. She asked if the possibility of a meeting was still on the table and that she hoped I would forgive her absence. Not wanting to be further duped, I said we could meet once she provided a copy of a death certficate and a photo of the scar. She was dumbfounded. She said that she valued our friendship and would comply with my demands.

The next day I awoke to find an email with a copy of her mothers death certificate along with a nude photo. I thought to myself "what a tremendous gesture on her part." I immediately sent her off a note thanking her for her prompt response but unfortunately.....I don't fuck fat chicks.

It's all so sad.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/1/2009 10:32:32 AM >

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/1/2009 11:03:43 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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honestly, until someone means something to me, I don't fret about the timeliness of their e-mails. After all, if they haven't grabbed my attention and I'm not hot and horney to know more, I don't make responding to them a top priority.

Most people fall into the "reserve judgement" catagory, meaning that I don't know enough about them to know if I want to continue conversation and assume that they have classified me the same way. I figure that only as more and more interest is piqued will communication become more fluent. The more they know about me the more I will mean to them and visa versa.

I can also say that when someone becomes more into me before I've decided that I am into him that I tend to slow way down on communications. While I won't call them rude names, they won't make a good impression on me if they are grovelling around for more from me then what I am willing to give them at that time.

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/2/2009 9:25:23 AM

thetab

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

honestly, until someone means something to me, I don't fret about the timeliness of their e-mails. After all, if they haven't grabbed my attention and I'm not hot and horney to know more, I don't make responding to them a top priority.

Most people fall into the "reserve judgement" catagory, meaning that I don't know enough about them to know if I want to continue conversation and assume that they have classified me the same way. I figure that only as more and more interest is piqued will communication become more fluent. The more they know about me the more I will mean to them and visa versa.

I can also say that when someone becomes more into me before I've decided that I am into him that I tend to slow way down on communications. While I won't call them rude names, they won't make a good impression on me if they are grovelling around for more from me then what I am willing to give them at that time.

Agreed. I get annoyed when someone emails me after I've read their last message with something like "hey, why haven't you responded yet!?!?!?!?!" Of course, most of these people sent that message only a few hours after I read their latest message, and that just shows me that they aren't really patient. Typically, I give people a week to reply to my message to them, and if they haven't by that time, I figure they're not interested and move on.

Thus far, I haven't met anyone here that has passed the point of "just chatting", so if they can't wait a day for me to write back, I doubt we'd be a good match in the first place.

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/2/2009 9:40:46 AM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: azsubron

Feedback and thoughts are appreciated..
thanks

I hope you are having better luck now that people have a point of reference for you from forum posts. Perhaps trying to get more involved with this aspect will give you a better idea who to pursue and who to pass by. It's hard when those you are looking to meet aren't as committed to the process as you are.

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/2/2009 12:40:09 PM

DesFIP

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I'm wondering what the op is sending back in his replies. Because if they asked for a detailed sex fantasy and he sends that, then it would seem obvious they are just seeking wanking material and aren't available for anything further.

Perhaps keep everything nonsexual until after you meet? And set up a coffee meet for as soon as possible.

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/2/2009 2:23:10 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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This doesn't just happen from Master to slave, but from slave to Master. I think it's more the nature of the internet than a game aimed specifically at you. If you need more constant communication (I actually require daily contact once there is an agreement to follow protocol), find those people who answer in what you consider to be a timely manner.

Master Fire

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RE: Master/ Dom communication games (?) - 2/2/2009 3:57:47 PM

LarabysLair

Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
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Hmmmm. I really have not had this problem so much. Maybe because I'm on the D/O/M side of the emails. LOL

I don't email every heavy-breasted girl on CM looking for that bright elusive butterfly of BDSM. And more to the point. I receive very few unsolicited emails from others looking. Do I answer every one I get? No. But, I read them. I usually can tell from the tone of the e-mail whether it's even something meant for me or the Lair specifically. If it's an obvious mass email, guess what, it makes it's way to the ignore file. On the other hand, there are some that I just have not had time to reply to with all the temerity deserved. I also believe that when I don't see the sender online for 2 weeks there is little sense in firing off an light-speed response.

But, if you are searching and you email me with a serious enquiry, you can certainly be assured of a reasonably quick response. At least until the issues become more needful of deep thought and introspection.

Call me LL

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