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TranceTara -> RE: submissives with unhealed issues- (2/3/2009 12:37:51 AM)
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quote:
Apart from that what I read here, is about a lack of communication. Communication is the key to every relationship, but in Bdsm even more so, so that has the be possible. Yyou have to feel safe enough, to be able to share everything and anything with the one who Dominate's you.
I agree with you there. That is the difficult thing when starting long distance over the internet and not even having phone contact. There was a connection, for me, but I was terrified. Yes, it was an unhealed issue from my past for I still felt if someone was a Mistress they were out to harm me. I shared this with her and told her i knew it was my projection and i felt bad for it.
Also, I had been communicating with her alpha and she had a matter of fact style, so when I had asked the alpha if she ever had doubts or thought she'd be losing a part of herself as she let go into the submitting portion, she said no. I compared myself and felt less than. Also, the alpha basically said to piss or get off the pot. I guess that's when I knew that household was not for me, even if I did like the Mistress. A gentle word, a gentle caress with the accent of that internal Dominance can bring me to my knees faster than any harsh word, cane or punishment. Somehow, total acceptance breaks down my walls of resistance much more than the intellectual discourse or more military form of Dominance. I don't know if that makes sense. Words seem evasive right now.
quote:
And the assignment to not talk to Her for a while...
if you want to "kill" a sub or dump them, just say it,
but don't push them in the dark hole of "the unknown."
That's way too easy to "solve" your issues.
Let me just say that she is a very wonderful woman and perhaps she was doing what was best for me since the internet thing was too painful. She had said I needed r/t friends, not to include her, and perhaps like a mother bird was pushing me to find r/t friends. For that I shall always be grateful, as I am for this thread. It has shown me that there is no one right way, no one right Mistress, no one right submissive or slave. [sm=ofcourse.gif]
[sm=yourock.gif]
And LunaVenus, I am sorry you are feeling so down and unappreciated. I am glad you had a pet to offer some consolation. For all it's worth, here's a virtual hug:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LunaVenus}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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