Shyness and Submission? (Full Version)

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Anastasia25 -> Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 11:48:31 AM)

Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?

Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?

How did your submissive traits play out, day-to-day, before you found a Master or Mistress?



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 11:53:55 AM)

Hello there Anasthasia,
Short reply because I'm off to do something.

My answer to whether there is a correlation between shyness and submission, is no.   I'm no longer as horribly shy as I used to be, but there has never been a submissive bone in my body.   People told me of being a submissive to better learn how to be a dominant, and though I pondered it plenty, I could never bring myself there.     M



catize -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 12:02:24 PM)

I have always stood up to authority; I have always spoken up for myself and/or others when I believed it to be necessary.  I love being the center of attention and enjoy acting and public speaking.
My submissive nature is only evoked in my intimate relationships.



feydeplume -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 12:04:22 PM)

No i don't think so. There might be a link between self-esteem or social skills and shyness but I don't think (personal opinion here, haven't read any serious studies on it) there is ANY connection.

I am respectful and helpful around authority figures, not shy or submissive *whatever that might mean*

How did I get my fix before? Volunteer work, doing my job as best i could, being a good friend and lover, showing up for class and doing my homework, ummmm.... and following my star (cue music)



ExKat -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 12:05:11 PM)

 In most of my life, I am not at all shy. I talk in front of public groups with nary a sweaty palm, I speak up in class when there's a high likelihood that I'm wrong (and I usually am). When it comes to relationships, I can be woefully shy; even in established relationships, I am shy and nervous about making the first move or initiating anything. I chalk this up to submission. I want my partner to be dominant and start things off, I'll follow the lead.



Phoenixpower -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 12:06:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I have always stood up to authority; I have always spoken up for myself and/or others when I believed it to be necessary.  I love being the center of attention and enjoy acting and public speaking.
My submissive nature is only evoked in my intimate relationships.


totally agree on that view...



Andalusite -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 12:11:53 PM)

I'm still occasionally shy, though not nearly to the degree I used to be. I tend to be very outgoing and a social butterfly as long as there is at least one person who I know around, but it's a little tougher if I'm completely on my own. I don't think it has any correlation to my D/s proclivities. I was a Domme for almost 5 years in my first BDSM-oriented relationship, and a submissive for almost 3 in my most recent one. My demeanor wasn't significantly different during either relationship, or the kinky-but-not-D/s ones in between.



StormsSlave -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 12:13:25 PM)

It's an interesting thought, but doesn't apply here.  I am occassionally shy, but very rarely.  I usually just walk right up and shake someone's hand, I'm the first to pipe up in a meeting, and I think lots of people are entitled to my opinion.  Everyone is different, even when there are some things similar.



agirl -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 1:22:33 PM)

I've no idea.  I know enough dom types who are *shy*, and enough *sub* types who aren't in the least. I wouldn't link shyness with either.

I'm shy around *people* though it most often wouldn't be seen. It's nothing to do with people in authority....or people of power. (Not quite sure what you mean by that, though).

I'm far more comfortable and at home with people that are confident and comfortable in their own skins, regardless of their shyness OR *power* and regardless of mine.

I didn't have any specific submissive traits to play out and being owned hasn't altered that.

agirl













sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 1:49:06 PM)

I am definitely not shy in any way shape or form. I am blunt and upfront and stand up for myself when needed. I am actually a very strong willed, head strong person.  Nothing quiet about me.



AquaticSub -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 1:55:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?

No
quote:


Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?

No. I tend to be the person challenging them. I yield only to authority I have examined from all angles and found to be correct. That said, I have a great deal of respect towards authority figures I respect - policemen, servicemen, etc. I also defer gracefully to those who I feel know more than me. But I'm certainly not submissive towards them.

I tend to be more the extrovert and Valyraen more of the introvert.
quote:


How did your submissive traits play out, day-to-day, before you found a Master or Mistress?

They were there, like my bisexuality, and didn't always come up. I didn't feel the need to randomly serve people.



eyesopened -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 2:00:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExKat

In most of my life, I am not at all shy. I talk in front of public groups with nary a sweaty palm, I speak up in class when there's a high likelihood that I'm wrong (and I usually am). When it comes to relationships, I can be woefully shy; even in established relationships, I am shy and nervous about making the first move or initiating anything. I chalk this up to submission. I want my partner to be dominant and start things off, I'll follow the lead.


For me, I was about to say "ditto" except that I do not chalk up my relationship nervousness and shyness to submission at all.  When I am shy or nervous it's because at those times I actually care what the other person may think of me.  When I'm speaking to a group of 200 I could give a rat's ass if they like me or not as a person or a friend.

My definition of submission is to yeild to the authority of another, so first I have to recognize that authority... no authority presented, no submission necessary.



oceanwynds -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 2:33:00 PM)

I am naturally quiet and reserved, unless something is being discussed that interests me. I am also horrible at small talk. I do not relate this to being submissive though. Most of the important men in my life have met me when I had something of value to say. That has been what attracted them to me.



Lovemetomorrow -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 3:16:40 PM)

I personally am a very shy person. It seems that when I am talking to a Dom I am even more shy then when I am talking to someone who has no idea about the lifestyle. For me it's just a part of who I am.

However, when I believe something is wrong I -will- speak out and make sure that I am heard. As for authority... it depends on the situation.



subgirl2009 -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 4:03:28 PM)

I agree totally with Catzie and the others. I am not submissive in my "vanilla" life. I work and perform in a position of authority, and hold the respect of my peers and higher authorities. I am not shy to speak up, deal with inequities, or take control where needed. But in my intimate life...with One...I am submissive.

I know of many women in similar positions of power in career and life, who seek the same as I. SubGirl



kyraofMists -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 4:26:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25
Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?


No.  For one thing shyness and introversion are not the same thing.  I am not shy and yet I am highly introverted.  My Lord is not shy and he is introverted; not as much as I am but still introverted.  Alandra is somewhat shy and even less introverted than he is.  Introversion and extroversion is about where you get your energy and not about whether you are shy or not.

quote:

Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?
 

People of assumed power or authority, no.  People that I perceive as powerful or authoritative, yes I am submissive.  Not shy, but I do tend to submit to their will; now I only do it if he approves of the behavior.  When people try to boss me around and I don't recognize their authority, I tend to be rather hostile; it makes my skin crawl when people who do not have authority over me try to order me around.


Knight's Kyra



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 4:34:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25
Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?

No
quote:


Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?

I'm quite shy in general.  I'm also very aggressive and stubborn. 
quote:


How did your submissive traits play out, day-to-day, before you found a Master or Mistress?

What makes me "a submissive" is my internal relationship orientation.  It's not a trait, set of traits or anything related to one's personality.



ashyflower -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 6:11:52 PM)

i guess i am one of the odd ones. i am shy and submissive about everything....i have been my whole life.

ashyflower



sweetshyslave -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 6:15:58 PM)

don't worry, ashyflower....we are all odd on here.....*laughs*....i am shy when first meeting people but i do not think that shyness has anything to do with my submissive nature.....i know some girls who are very good slaves/subs who are very extroverted....i don't think there is any co-relation IMO



ashyflower -> RE: Shyness and Submission? (2/1/2009 6:19:48 PM)

Thank you for the kind words sweetshyslave.

ashyflower



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