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The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 5:32:03 PM

lovingpet

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Have you ever had a simple gift (a piece of jewlery or other whatnot) become emotionally significant despite the original intent of your dominant in giving it to you? Please explain how this came to be.

Dominants, have you ever given such a thing only to find it took on a life of its own in the mind or heart of your submissive? How did you determine this? What was your reaction to this? How or did you work through this association with your submissive and what was the outcome?

Oh, and glad to be back!

lovingpet

Post #: 1

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 5:36:22 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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wb pet! *hugs* how are you?

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Post #: 2

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 5:37:33 PM

lovingpet

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Good to be back! Hangin in there and Greedy hugs are always some of the bestest medicine!

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RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 5:44:31 PM

oceanwynds

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Welcome back Loving Pet.
Yes, I have a flourite necklace that Sir bought for me. He took me to a new age store and I saw it so decided to buy it. He surprised me and bought it for me plus a tarot deck. The necklace I wear for work purposes, am a psychic, so it helps me with keeping myself intune. I have a lot of stone necklaces, and have friends that make them for me, but this one is always around my neck. I now also use it as a prayer bead/rosary.

Almost 6 months after Sir and I started in our relationship, I gave him my healing amythest necklace, which I had for decades. It meant a lot to him.
oceanwynds

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 4

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 5:58:11 PM

Knite064

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Joined: 1/21/2009
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If i could turn that question on its head a little i was given a ring from a submisive that i had hoped to place a permanent collar on but through mutual commitments holding us both back we decided to split(both had children growing up and neither of us able to move to the other is the condensed story but it was all very sad at the time but all very amicable also)

That ring for some time acted as a reminder of a very special relationship i never knew it would possible to have (albeit for far too short a time.)
Now its on my keyring and acts as a reminder of what in time i want to find again...I dont mean waiting for her as we ve both moved on but that feeling of finding a soulmate that really does seem to be the other part of me now that my daughter has grown up and does nt need me quite so close.
So i guess its accidentially became a promise of one day collaring a submissive that shares my lifestyle and life ideals.

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Post #: 5

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 6:03:31 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

Have you ever had a simple gift (a piece of jewlery or other whatnot) become emotionally significant despite the original intent of your dominant in giving it to you?

Yes.

quote:

Please explain how this came to be.

He had been gone for a month taking care of family out east. When he was home again he gave me a necklace of slave bells. I thought it meant a significant leap forward in our relationship. He intended it to be “just a present.”

quote:

How or did you work through this association and what was the outcome?

We argued because neither one of us could see the other’s POV. He said some pretty hurtful things, He said I was rushing things (we’d been together for 9 months!!!) He backed way off both emotionally and physically. We argued, made up and argued again. We were supposed to get together the next weekend. He decided to go to a movie with his daughter instead but didn’t bother to tell me. He didn't call until late that night; said he didn't call because he knew I'd be mad whether he called or not. We haven’t spoken since.

That was 3 years ago. The necklace hangs on my bathroom wall to remind me of my folly.

edited for a missing 'w'

< Message edited by catize -- 2/2/2009 6:04:44 PM >

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RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 7:07:08 PM

lovingpet

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Thanks for the widely varied responses so far. There are so many possible ways for this kind of thing to develop.

In the case I am thinking of, what was given as a birthday present shortly after meeting became very special to her to the point it basically acted in her mind as a kind of collar. There was no voiced commitment, but she never took it off and held it in her hand when she needed to feel especially close to him in his absence. Others in her life commented about how much she seemed to "like" her new necklace and it came as a total surprise to the dominant. They are far from an official collaring, but she said that the way she treated that necklace spoke volumes of how she felt toward him. He is pleased at this and feels similarly, but it was never really intended that way and neither of them ever expected it to take on this life of its own, so to speak, but it has.

I have to wonder how this would would go over in others' relationships that are in the early going.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 7

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 8:33:52 PM

whis31

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Master for this past Christmas gave me a necklace that i value alot, "not collared yet, but can pray", it's something that i can wear to work and when my co-workers notice i can just think of the way Master gave it to me and smile that secert smile and say thank you. i've been with my Master just over 1 1/2 now.

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Post #: 8

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 10:43:01 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Have you ever had a simple gift (a piece of jewlery or other whatnot) become emotionally significant despite the original intent of your dominant in giving it to you? Please explain how this came to be.

I've had this happen, regardless of the dominance or otherwise of the person who gave it too me. A castoff necklace from my first boyfriend became a symbol of devotation - in my head, he proved me wrong there. I still have the notes the first boyfriend who actually cared about me passed back in forth in the hallway in high school. At the time they didn't mean much, I just didn't want to throw them away. Then, as we grew closer, they become something to touch and reach over when we were apart. Now they are pleasent reminder of a good time in my life.

I would say this happens in all types of relationships.

_____________________________

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Post #: 9

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 10:56:29 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I would say this happens in all types of relationships.

Absolutely. My ex husband, knowing how much I loved and wanted emeralds, surprised me on my birthday (the only birthday he ever bought me a gift for) with a set - earrings, necklace and tennis bracelet. It floored me and I loved them and wore them all the time.

It came to pass that less than a year later I would leave him. After moving out, I told my mom I needed to get rid of those emeralds. She said "Oh honey, but you love them so much!" but I said I couldn't possibly wear a gift he bought me. Then she came out with brilliant logic. You see, my ex only held a job for about half of our marriage. Mom said, "He didn't buy them - YOU bought them. It was YOUR money that paid for them. He just went and picked them up for you since you were too busy working to actually go get them." Ha!

I still don't wear them but I'm going to either trade them in or have them converted.

My former owner gave me a casual pen from his collection. He tossed it over to me as no biggy but I cherished it and used it for everything. I still have it and still use it, although I don't hold a lot of emotional value in physical objects anymore.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 10

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 11:01:01 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
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~FR~

Heh, in this case my 'Dominant' is an entire country...

I visited New Zealand with a group as a staff member and we went to a Maori cultural center primarily for tourists and *actual* indigenous peoples. It was purely amazing. There was a shop by the wood-carving display where we could watch them carve in the same methods as tradition. The shop had various types of jewelry, including really beautiful hand-done greenstone and ivory pieces. One really popped out at me and I was entranced by it... it was an ivory necklace for 'unity' strung on a simple black cord with a piece of ivory that fits through a loop to close it.

I didn't have enough money for it. I think it was $60 (NZD) or $80... but I only had $20 on me... I talked to the clerk and she said there was no way that she could lower the price, and that part of their livelihood depended on selling them for the amount of money they had them listed. I left the shop, dejected, and ran into the woman who was our guide, earlier, through the grounds and things... and talked to her about it. Not only did she tell her friend that it was ok to lower the price but she paid what parts of it I couldn't pay (almost $30) at the reduced price. Essentially she gave me a 'Maori discount' and then paid however much I couldn't. She said that it was meant for me and she could tell, too. (There's a whole bunch of hocus-pocus involved, for those pagans and/or witches interested in hearing about it, but suffice to say it was clear to me).

I wore it every day (usually even in the shower) for almost 2 years. I still have it, but (get this XD) my neck has much more muscle than it used to, so I wear it less often.

I feel a definite tie with New Zealand from it, too. I know that, some day, it will be where I end up. It's a symbol of pride for me. It makes me feel like I belong to to them (to sound kinda silly)

(not to mention that I looked it up and got it looked at and it is worth almost twice as much that they were actually charging it >.>)

Sorry for an answer that's not exactly what you asked for XD Hope you're feeling better.

(in reply to whis31)

Post #: 11

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/2/2009 11:06:10 PM

manxcat

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Joined: 10/3/2008
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The wedding ring from my sisters' first marriage. I told her to take it off the day she married her second, and she asked me to take care of it for her. Since we no longer talk, and i can't get it off, it keeps her in my heart and connected to her.

_____________________________

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury

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Post #: 12

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 2:43:32 AM

LarabysLair

Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline

do

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Have you ever had a simple gift (a piece of jewlery or other whatnot) become emotionally significant despite the original intent of your dominant in giving it to you? Please explain how this came to be.

Dominants, have you ever given such a thing only to find it took on a life of its own in the mind or heart of your submissive? How did you determine this? What was your reaction to this? How or did you work through this association with your submissive and what was the outcome?

Oh, and glad to be back!

lovingpet

Gotta admit I can't think of any such case with my slaves. But that could just be that everything I do is quite deliberate. I don't do accidents. At least not so far.

angel has her own ideas on that. However, her views are the meaningless views of a slave girl. She does at times put little sentimental values on things. :)

Call me LL

< Message edited by LarabysLair -- 2/3/2009 2:44:02 AM >

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Post #: 13

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 5:07:43 AM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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I am likely a bit odd in this, but there are trinkets of most times and places of any real significance around my home somewhere. In some cases, I have actually been asked why on earth I would keep things from this person or that time in my life because it just seemed to be such a dark time. I explain to them that I am choosing not only what objects, but joy or pain I wish to keep. To date, I have neve kepts something for reasons of remembering pain, even though there may have been ample possibility for those things to take on such a meaning. It is about the joy, the light, and the beauty of having lived such a life as mine.

I understand how a whole country can possess the imaginations and keep a piece of you, perhaps even the rest of your days. My travels have taken me to such places and to experience things I cannot turn away from. They call to me to return and finish what I've started and teach me more. One day, I will answer and it will not be strange. It will be a homecoming.

Use whatever word one wishes, but people feel as they feel from a certain act or circumstance. There isn't a great deal of changing it. The day my caring for another is meaningless or the day their caring for me is meaningless is the day the relationship begins to wilt. If it was meant tongue in cheek, my apology.

Oh and aravain, thank you for the well wishes!

lovingpet

(in reply to LarabysLair)

Post #: 14

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 6:02:38 AM

feydeplume

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This can happen after years and years together. My M joking refered to me as his "potions wench" when talking about a certain video game with someone. I LOVED the title and when he is playing that game I get all interested and tell him when he needs a potion. It sounds lame i know, especially to anyone not big on those kinds of games, but it means something to me.

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If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

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Post #: 15

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 8:42:37 AM

oceanwynds

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Yes, Loving Pet, the necklace I mentioned earlier is very significant. Sir and I discussed early in our relationship, and there will be no collaring here. I am not owned. I am totally devoted to Sir. Being owned does not have the importance to me, that it does to most. My necklace though is important. It stands for him understanding me and appreciating me. I take exceptional care of it.

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Post #: 16

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 9:10:50 AM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Yes, Loving Pet, the necklace I mentioned earlier is very significant. Sir and I discussed early in our relationship, and there will be no collaring here. I am not owned. I am totally devoted to Sir. Being owned does not have the importance to me, that it does to most. My necklace though is important. It stands for him understanding me and appreciating me. I take exceptional care of it.

I can understand this very much. I am quite the opposite in that collaring is not something I will rush into and is of massive importance to me. Though I may not be ready for such a magnitude, something such as your necklace worn all the time even though I don't have to would be a reflection of how I value the relationship. The care I take in keeping it well maintained would be a service to/for the one who gave it to me. My guess is he notices how you treat it and treasure it and knows this reflects only a small part of how you feel for him. It is a beautiful thing when both are on the same page, and apparently a disaster when not.

lovingpet

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 17

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 9:22:16 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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every necklace He allows this slave to wear is a symbol of His(it isn't "my") "collar"...
every bracelet/anklet is symbolic of wearing "cuffs".

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Post #: 18

RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 9:35:16 AM

SimplyMichael

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Any guy who foolishly gives away round things with holes in them...deserves what they get.

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RE: The Accidental Collar - 2/3/2009 10:03:50 AM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Any guy who foolishly gives away round things with holes in them...deserves what they get.

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Post #: 20

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