Submission???

Submission??? (Full Version)

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KnightofMists -> Submission??? (1/13/2006 2:31:56 PM)
I am curious on peoples perspective on this question. Does a submissive earn submission?

KatyLied -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 2:36:52 PM)
Have we not covered this? Submission is a gift. LOL (you know I'm joking, right?)

veronicaofML -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 2:53:41 PM)
Does a submissive earn submission? _____________________________ Knight of Mists =============================== in WHAT context? sex? play? service? other?

sub4hire -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 2:54:26 PM)
quote: Does a submissive earn submission? Depend's upon the situation

servingwench80 -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 2:55:49 PM)
I'll admit, I have no idea what you mean by this L

wetsub000 -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 2:57:45 PM)
Interesting question. Without giving it too much thought ... not perhaps in the same way that most people mean when they talk of Dominants earning trust, after all it's generally the submissive who is putting herself in the most vulnerable position. However, if you look at in the way a relationship progresses, then yes - as trust builds between the two people then the D/s goes deeper and you could say that the submissive has earnt the right to submit more deeply, just as the Dominant has earnt the right to be trusted with more control. I remember my first D/s relationship and in my eagerness being told by the Dom that I had to learn patience and to take things slowly. It wasn't easy for me, I wanted it all right there and then.

IceyOne -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 3:46:49 PM)
Does a submissive earn submission? Interesting question. My first impulse was to say no, but after thinking about it for a minute, I realized that there may be something to the question that went a bit deeper. Submission, in itself, does not come easy. Trusting in your partner helps smooth the path a bit, but more importantly is the trust that you, as the submissive, must have in yourself. Personally, I believe that finding that trust in yourself is a lot harder than placing your trust in another. It takes time to search out, face, understand, and accept that part of yourself enough so that you can trust it. So, I am going to say yes, even a submissive must earn submission within themselves.

redheadedfire4u -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 3:59:27 PM)
Always such a pleasure to have my mind thrown into disarray by one of Your posts, thx again KoM lol Does a submissive earn submission? Now that makes the thought processes whirl lol I am inclined to say yes. From the point of view of someone reasonably new to L/s, yes earn seems appropriate. As you learn and grow, as you accept knowledge about yourself and your place in the relationship, you also earn a deeper sense of who you are and what you want and what He wants so in a way you are earning your submission. Just my first knee jerk reaction to the question, warm smiles to all

Noah -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:09:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am curious on peoples perspective on this question. Does a submissive earn submission? I'm with the people who don't understand the question well enough to address it. That said, one of the things I tune into KoM's threads for is the variety of responses to his clearly pre-meditated use of the ambiguous question. If anybody sees Socrates, please tell him his lessons have not been entirely wasted on a certain latter-day Knight. Anyway he seems more Socratic than Psychoanalytic to me but I'm not here to ask him to tip his cards. And since the only enduring benefit of philosophical activity is therapeutic anyway, why not both at once? For some flavors of submissive I'll bet this guy is one ass-kicking dominant. You go, dawg.

kyraofMists -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:21:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Noah quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am curious on peoples perspective on this question. Does a submissive earn submission? I'm with the people who don't understand the question well enough to address it. That said, one of the things I tune into KoM's threads for is the variety of responses to his clearly pre-meditated use of the ambiguous question. If anybody sees Socrates, please tell him his lessons have not been entirely wasted on a certain latter-day Knight. Anyway he seems more Socratic than Psychoanalytic to me but I'm not here to ask him to tip his cards. And since the only enduring benefit of philosophical activity is therapeutic anyway, why not both at once? For some flavors of submissive I'll bet this guy is one ass-kicking dominant. You go, dawg. LOL... speaking from one of his slaves who gets her ass kicked regularly, he is rather good at it. I have learned not to try and figure out why he does what he does or asks the things that he asks. I have learned just to enjoy the benefits of going along for the ride, and it can be such a fun ride, full of surprises... like slave kicking back g Knight's kyra

Wildfleurs -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:21:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am curious on peoples perspective on this question. Does a submissive earn submission? I view my position with my owner as an earned position (as well as a privilege). There are also particular things I get within my relationship that are definitely earned privileges as well. But in terms of submission, if I'm inspired then its just going to happen regardless. That doesn't mean that I have any particular position with the person, just that my natural impetus with that particular person is to react and act in a particular way. But frankly I can count on one hand with fingers left over the number of people who have inspired me to submit, so its not remotely a regular occurance for me. C~

kyraofMists -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:24:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists Does a submissive earn submission? A short answer.... I earn the privilege to be yours everyday by making the choice to submit to your will, my Lord. kyra

MistressFire70 -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:28:41 PM)
If, by your question, you are asking: does a submissive have to earn the right to serve? Yes, especially if they are looking to serve long term. Fire

MHOO314 -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:32:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am curious on peoples perspective on this question. Does a submissive earn submission? A submissive earns the right to share their gift with Me, as I earn the right to Dominate them--smiles chemistry and the dynamic.

thetammyjo -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:33:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am curious on peoples perspective on this question. Does a submissive earn submission? I'm going to take submission here as part of a relationship dynamic -- you submit to someone or are in submission to someone. To me, yes, a person has to earn or prove their trustworthyness, interest, and compatiblity to me in order to have a recognized position as submissive to me. Someone may attempt to give me said "gift of submission" but if I walk away and refuse the gift, it isn't submission merely an attempt to establish such. Is this what you were getting at, KnightofMists?

truesub4u -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:40:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wetsub000 Interesting question. Without giving it too much thought ... not perhaps in the same way that most people mean when they talk of Dominants earning trust, after all it's generally the submissive who is putting herself in the most vulnerable position. However, if you look at in the way a relationship progresses, then yes - as trust builds between the two people then the D/s goes deeper and you could say that the submissive has earnt the right to submit more deeply, just as the Dominant has earnt the right to be trusted with more control. I remember my first D/s relationship and in my eagerness being told by the Dom that I had to learn patience and to take things slowly. It wasn't easy for me, I wanted it all right there and then. Oh yes, this is so true. To me anyways. Maybe not to all. So yes, I would have to say that a submissive has to earn to submit as well.

servingwench80 -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 4:48:57 PM)
Some people I think are using "earn submission" in a way that just doesn't seem right to me. If you go deeper in your submission, I don't see that as "earning" so much as "growing." It just makes me feel like they are twisting the thought around in order to be able to say "yes" to the question. I guess you could say that you're earning that submission in the same way that you earn your skill as a musician, or your knowledge as a scientist. It takes work to get there, and you earn what you get. But "earn" to me implies that you are earning something from someone else, not yourself. In that, I don't think you really "earn" your submission. It is within yourself, someone else doesn't give you your submission. They may help you grow in it, but it is yours. As someone else said though, I think you do earn the right to submit. The same as a Dom earns the right to dominate a sub. A Dom can't just expect any sub he walks up to to submit to them. And a sub can't expect any Dom they walk up to, to dominate them. It seems a little odd to think of it from that side, but it's true.

BitaTruble -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 5:48:39 PM)
quote: Does a submissive earn submission? I can't say that I earned submission any more than I earned femaleness. I was born that way and it's part of the hard-wiring. Celeste

mistoferin -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 6:02:04 PM)
quote: Does a submissive earn submission? I have to say no. The dynamic that develops between Dominant and submissive is circular. There is a cause and effect. The relationship deepens as trust is developed between the parties. While I may, through my actions and the sharing of myself, earn a place in someone's life(as do they earn a place in mine by similar means).....my submission merely "is". It becomes more obvious with the passage of time and shared experiences. The more trust that is established, the more comfortable I am, the more free I feel to be myself...the depth of my submission follows in suit. The more I yield, the more the Dominant feeds off of it....the more trust and comfort is established....the more I open myself.....a circle.

Smythe -> RE: Submission??? (1/13/2006 8:36:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am curious on peoples perspective on this question. Does a submissive earn submission? I am with those who don't understand the question. Can you clarify what you're asking? Smythe

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