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Advice needed - 2/4/2009 2:17:51 AM

Missykink

Posts: 35
Joined: 9/11/2008
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Hi Ladies, I am looking for some advice re cuckolding. If anyone experienced in this and wouldn't mind chatting to me about it or can recommend any good reading I would be really grateful.

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RE: Advice needed - 2/4/2009 5:08:37 AM

dreamerdreaming

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Hello Missykink, and welcome to the boards. If you'll use the search feature here you'll find bazillions of threads on this subject. I'm sure whatever you want to know, such as a book list, discussion of concerns, list of links, etc. can be found there.

What are your specific questions?

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RE: Advice needed - 2/4/2009 10:02:32 AM

Missykink

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Hi Thank you for replying. Cuckolding is something we both have on our lists of wanting to try out. We met through a bdsm site 3 years ago and have been together for just over two years now. Before this relationship I was in multiple partner relationships both vanilla and D/s and never had a problem with jealousy or things like that from my side or the others. Adding playmates to our dynamic is a major change and something I have refused to even consider until I felt that we had built up stable foundations. My previous relationships were strictly sex only and with the boy its very different. We are in love and want to build towards a future together. We have had several others enter our dynamic though not in a sexual way. And last year I introduced a lady who I am good friends with and we had a bit of a saucy session, which went down an absolute treat with him, although he wasn't involved sexually with her.

I guess I have many questions some that sound really silly. I will just throw a few out there and see what response i get lol.

I love him dearly and know that doing it myself wouldn't be an issue I know I love him and won't see it as anything more than sex, but if he did it I would be mortified. The thought of him being sexual with another person freaks me right out (although he has absolutely no desire to do so) is it normal to feel like that?

Does this then give him a licence to go fucking others and I am left unable to say anything as that's what I have been doing?

Although is says he is 100% sure that its what he wants for me to do what if it hurts him and causes him issues?

I have many more random silly questions and I know that communication is the key to this. We make a lot of effort with communicating things properly and I have told him all this and he will see this post. I guess I want a Dommes perspective, to know whether or not these worries are warnings really or just natural for this type of play in the beginning.

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RE: Advice needed - 2/4/2009 10:50:19 AM

Madame4a

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Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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I don't know much at all about cuckolding but I think your issues sound a lot more like "how are others in our lives" going to look. I think that's more poly than cuckolding. I think you have another issue and that is the cuckold stuff. I may be wrong BUT I think the point of cuckolding is that YOU get to enjoy sex with another, while your boy watches (or knows or whatever) and he does NOT get to do that. I could be wrong but I think that's it.

As to what his limits are.. well, the rules are those between you two.. and I'd suggest you get a lot of talking between you two before adding someone else in the mix.

That said, poly is tough, you might want to read some stuff on the poly forum too -- and see what other experiences are like.

and yes please DO search for cuckold and cuckolding... there are threads in the ask a mistress forum

and while we're at it.. sorry to take over for a sec.. I have a cuckold question...

How do you find the bull and how do you keep it from all going terribly wrong.. its a charged situation...

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 2/4/2009 10:52:07 AM >

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RE: Advice needed - 2/4/2009 10:18:24 PM

YoursMistress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

How do you find the bull and how do you keep it from all going terribly wrong.. its a charged situation...

Moo?

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RE: Advice needed - 2/5/2009 7:17:33 AM

Lockit

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LOL Yours...

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RE: Advice needed - 2/5/2009 7:55:21 AM

SomethingCatchy

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Cuckolding - It doesn't have to involve sexual intercourse. It could just involved a sexually charged atmosphere.

If you have these sorts of questions, you really need to work on your trust within the relationship. I'm not saying you two have problems, but it's obvious that you're worried about some things that are easily talked about and worked through as a team before anything happens.

And as far as your question about does it give him the option to fuck anyone he wants while you can't say anything - If that's what YOU want, then yes it does. But obviously that's not what you want. Even when one partner decietfully cheats on another and the cheatee wants to get back at the cheater, the cheater still has the right (and no one can stop them) to tell the other person no. Will your boy listen to you if that's the way he chooses to behave? Again, work on trust.

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RE: Advice needed - 2/5/2009 8:30:51 AM

MsDDom

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From: GA
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just by reading ur relationship desires (future and all), it seem as if u r not really ready to bring this aspect into ur relationship...especially the sexual side. the concerns u've shared, u may need to go over them again...and again w/ ur partner to see if this is what u want.

if u question it, dont do it...period.

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RE: Advice needed - 2/10/2009 4:30:02 PM

ladynlord

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I think the point of cuckolding is that YOU get to enjoy sex with another, while your boy watches (or knows or whatever) and he does NOT get to do that.

Exactly, except that it does not have to be "sex", maybe just dancing, or whispers and giggles, or just make him watch from afar as you and someone else enjoy one of your favorite activities.

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RE: Advice needed - 4/15/2009 5:05:14 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
How do you find the bull and how do you keep it from all going terribly wrong.. its a charged situation...

This is easier for Me to answer while I'm waking up. Please understand that the caffeine hasn't hit yet.

In a cuckhold scenario, it isn't always necessarily true that the cuck is the primary male in the relationship. It actually can work out just as well if the female is married to the bull. While part of the turn on for some is the meeting up with the 'strange man' aspect, not everyone conducts their affairs this way.

It can be a charged situation, but I treat it like any other form of humiliation or form of mind fuck. Those things have the potential to go wrong as well. Most don't. The reason for that is putting in the groundwork ahead of time. Lots of communication prior to entering this type of play, and even more afterward. You start small and work your way up. With each step in escalation, you see how your cuck is acting and reacting. Does he get turned on when laying out your lingerie when you're dressing to go "out?" How does he respond when you're talking about being turned on by someone else? Is he faithful about doing the chores he's given while you're gone so he can be rewarded by hearing about your 'date?' Does he have that little extra bit of enthusiasm while he's sexually servicing you because he's turned on by the fact that you were in someone else's company? Like many other forms of play, instead of diving in the deep end, you start by dipping your toe in the pool.

I hope that made sense. As I've said, it's early. Usually when I write about My experiences on this subject, it has a tendency to come out sounding like porn if I don't restrain My expressions. The draw back to that is that the answers may not come out very clear.

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RE: Advice needed - 4/17/2009 6:51:12 PM

LPslittleclip

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for the cuck it can be something to help choose the clothes and help with the details of the event and to hear the details of the event the smell of the perfume and knowing that another has been with the holder of the cuck. or possibly not to disclose all the details and let them out slowly doling them out in small measured amounts. leading to a kind of hungering for the details.

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