MizSuz
Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
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She asked for a fast reply, I gave her one.
As for my dominance being more important than my love, you are placing your own values on my actions and they do not apply.
My experience tells me that jealousy usually comes from fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of abandonment, fear of little purple people. In short, it's usually unresolved self esteem issues.
I'm not a therapist, I'm a woman with no interest in holding someone's hand while they find their self worth. A woman with enough experience to know that no one person has enough self esteem for two and trying to hold self esteem for someone without enough is a black hole of energy, emotion and compassion. Everything goes in, nothing comes out.
Love is a choice, contrary to the wildly popular notion that it's an emotion (which can be easily manipulated). Regardless of how I feel about a person, if they do not have the requisite self esteem to be in the sort of D/s relationship that could emotionally damage someone without self esteem then they have some steps they need to take BEFORE being involved in such a relationship. A dominant who can't recognize the reality of a situation because of their emotions is no dominant (to my thinking). It's because I am better than someone who is ruled by their emotional investment that I would release, regardless of how I felt. But then again, I'm a firm believer that someone who is controlled by their emotions still has a lot of maturation yet to go.
There is no rule that says a released person can't be a friend or that a woman who releases a sub can't continue to interact with them. I just happen to think that someone who is prone to jealousy isn't really ready for a committed d/s relationship (at least not the sort that I require) and I, personally, won't be involved at that level with same.
Release.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DelightMachine
quote:
Release.
Release? What if you loved the sub, MizSuz? Is your dominance more important than your love? Would it be simple release in all cases or only in the circumstances that mons described in her later messages on this thread? Would you try to fix the situation first or just show him the door? My guess is that you'd be compassionate enough to slow things down before booting him because someone you let be your submissive would be pretty valuable in the first place. I don't think you would let junk be a submissive of yours, so he would have to be pretty valuable in the first place, so it wouldn't be wise to toss him out in a flash.
What if you were in love and the sub was new at being a submissive and wasn't prepared for jealousy that hit him like an oncoming train? D/s can put a lot of strain on a submissive when it comes to jealousy and it's hard to prepare for it until you start experiencing it. Your master or mistress can be playing around, intimately, with people who are better looking than you and better in many, many other ways. It's very hard not to feel jealous.
So a little compassion for the sub here, please.
This response sums up what was wrong with most of the responses from the mistresses. There are all types of different D/s relationships, so there can't be a cookie-cutter answer. Even mistresses often have different D/s relationships with different submissives.
I guess mons was asking what each individual mistress would do in her own circumstances. In that case the question is inadequate, because those relationships will be different in a lot of ways from whatever relationship she has with the submissive.
mons did the right thing by discussing the matter with her sub. I'd also suggest a cooling off period before completely dumping him -- if he's worth keeping in the first place, he's worth expending some patience on.
the idea that you throw away a submissive in these circumstances tells more about the mistresses here than about the submissive. And it isn't pretty.
I have a feeling, MizSuz, that even if some display of jealousy did make you instantly release the submissive, that wouldn't necessarily be the end of it. I think you'd be open to taking him back, and I think you'd discuss the matter.
Aren't you better than just "Release."?
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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein
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RE: jealous sub - 
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