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Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 10:50:19 AM

April76

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Joined: 2/5/2009
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Hi there, I am in a vanilla relationship my husband suffers from premature ejactulation, I am looking for answers to try to prevent/stop this. I am looking to be more dominate with him to try to get some control over this problem. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas please let me know what they are.

We are looking to expand our relationship/others and we can not expand until we found out ways to stop him from pre ejactulating.....thanks so much. PLEASE HELP!!!

Post #: 1

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 10:53:42 AM

mistoferin

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First off...it's ejaculation...no extra "t".

Second...how premature are we talking?

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 10:55:53 AM

April76

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like 2 min............this is every time we have sex......he will penetrate me (in, out, and in) and he cums.

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 10:58:21 AM

mistoferin

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Ok wow...that is quick. If you have sex again right afterwards (or within a few minutes) does it happen that quickly again or can he go longer?

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 10:59:18 AM

NCNutCase

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The more frequently I have sex, the easier it is to contorl my orgasm... oversex the hell out of him a week and see what that does for the problem...

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Post #: 5

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:00:35 AM

GimpinDenial

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A suggestion....

Have him masturbate until he is almost to the "edge" of no return, have him pull back using his sphincter
(the same muscle that he would use to hold a bowel movement)

once the urge to cum has passed, have him do it again....
Have him practice using his muscle to prolong his ejaculation.....

It takes time, but soon he should be able to last five minutes.... or so...

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:11:14 AM

April76

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he lasts about 5 min the 2nd time and then about 5-7 min the 3rd time, and then he tells me that his penis is soar to cum any more.

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Post #: 7

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:12:49 AM

aravain

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Is he actually orgasming, or just ejaculating?

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Post #: 8

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:36:11 AM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Hell I'd think 5 minutes was a long time lol, My partner usualy thrusts 4 or 5 times and then is done, and it's all under 5 minutes.It's like 2 to 3 minutes, and then he won't want to go again at all until another day.

quote:

ORIGINAL: April76

he lasts about 5 min the 2nd time and then about 5-7 min the 3rd time, and then he tells me that his penis is soar to cum any more.

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 2/5/2009 11:41:48 AM >

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Post #: 9

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:41:04 AM

YourhandMyAss

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From: Sacramento
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For us, when we do that, he just eventually go soft and won't get hard again, and or can't come. And

quote:

ORIGINAL: GimpinDenial

A suggestion....

Have him masturbate until he is almost to the "edge" of no return, have him pull back using his sphincter
(the same muscle that he would use to hold a bowel movement)

once the urge to cum has passed, have him do it again....
Have him practice using his muscle to prolong his ejaculation.....

It takes time, but soon he should be able to last five minutes.... or so...

(in reply to GimpinDenial)

Post #: 10

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:43:47 AM

FRSguy

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I don’t know if anything I say would help any because I can only say as to what pertains to my body and me and everyone is different. For me I am multi orgasmic and usually don’t have a problem with going off that quickly in fact its more the opposite problem. For me my ability to orgasm in general is controlled both by my mind and also by strength of all the muscles down there. If the muscles get to weak I have a tendency to go off quicker than I like. Men can do things that are similar to a kegal that can help strengthen the muscles such as stopping and restarting in mid stream while urinating and frequent orgasms. My body tends to adapt to whatever is going on so if lets say I want to have sex several times daily my body will strengthen and learn how to adapt and cope with it. One of these adaptations that I find interesting is the cum shot. When I am in good shape so to speak my body is able to produce enough semen to have several full cum shots a day whereas when I have not been in such good shape I produce very little… so because of that the daily sex becomes necessary or things really become painful and go to shit very quickly. If I don’t have sex frequently then everything pretty much goes to hell and I start going off quicker and it takes longer for my body to recover between orgasms.

Another thing that really kills it for me is masturbation. I know that masturbation does strengthen the muscles but it can cause things to go a little bit to quickly. My body tends to get into the 2 minutes to orgasm thing. With stronger muscles I can of course jump right to the next orgasm but when I stop masturbating and only use my girl then things take way longer and my body tends to adjust itself so things can last way longer. Masturbation is just way to quick and you get trained to it.

As far as the mind goes I have something I have used for years with woman that really work with me as well… I call it mutually assured orgasm. What it means is that when I have sex everyone involved will always have an orgasm, okay, it doesn’t always work this way with woman however I am told it happens about 98% of the time where as with there other relationships its around 20% of the time… woman lie about that shit so who knows. I do know that once you get to the point where the woman feels as though she is going into things and will most probably have an orgasm it changes the sexuality of the couple. They can slow shit way down or speed it up… the focus is no longer on trying to have an orgasm but on the sexual experience itself.

Another factor has always been prostate fluid levels. For some reason cuming lots and lots can cause a weird situation where there is cum but very little prostate fluid so the prostate swells and causes problems. For some reason I have to take a while to get there and really into in order for the prostate to actually empty out. Which makes a big difference in the size of the orgasm and satisfaction. Basically put a man can cum until he is apparently dry but until the prostate is emptied its not going to much better than taking a piss. Which leads me to another point… just because a man cums does not mean that he has had an orgasm…. He could be non orgasm as well and not know it.

So here goes…..

1- Daily high quality orgasms whether he is in the mood or not where the focus to actually achieve the orgasm simply is not there. Concentrate on producing different sensations over a longer period of time. Kind of like teasing….. when you feel he is getting close rub his nuts gently to keep them from becoming congested. If doing this with oral be careful not to over stimulate during and after the orgasm which can produce pain and discomfort which will actually teach a guy to cum more quickly… keep everything relaxed. Increase the number of orgasms per day as time goes by.

Don’t talk or address the problem at all while your trying to increase his time… don’t make it a goal or you’ll blow it.

Stop and restart during urination… also do male type kegals where he pumps it up. I know I have a natural response to touch … the harder I get … the more I want it… the more I naturally pump it. You can use your hands to create resistance as in pull his dick away from his belly and he will automatically strain against your hand to pull it back to his belly (if that made any kind of sense).

Also, it takes a really long time to develop strength down there. Like if I am sick for three weeks and don’t do a whole lot then it can take a couple of months to build my strength up so…. If your guy has always been this way then you have to change your sexual habits and keep them changed.
Anyways if I was back in my nilla days and you treated me like that.. .I would be a pretty happy camper but truth is … its hard to explain all this in under 300 pages…LOL

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 11

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:46:19 AM

SteelofUtah

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Premature Ejaculation is only a Problem for the Girl Isn't It?

Steel

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:56:39 AM

YourhandMyAss

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From: Sacramento
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Well that depends, is he happy lasting only 2 or 3 minutes, or is he unhappy about it.

If he doesn't give a rip, yeah it's her problem, but if he doesn't like it or it affects his self esteem as a viral desirable lover, than no it's not just her issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Premature Ejaculation is only a Problem for the Girl Isn't It?

Steel

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Post #: 13

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 11:57:18 AM

FRSguy

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Oh just to add a side note to my post (and sorry this is so crappy but am pressed for time). Even though pulling it down is a different muscle group its kind of like your hand... its easier to make a fist usually then it is to move a single finger... it can be difficult to isolate the muscles involved so even though a different muscle can be a focus it can strengthen the others.

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Post #: 14

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 12:00:15 PM

Lynnxz

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Ugh flashback to the ex...

Is he overweight/ out of shape? It seems that the two kind of follow each other.

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 12:28:53 PM

aravain

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I have the opposite experience, Lynnxz

I HATE extended (longer than 10 minutes) sessions of intercourse (though extended oral is just plain fun). It feels really good for about that amount of time, then after that soreness (usually from position) starts to set in. The bigger the guy I've been with, the longer they freaking last (and, in general, the longer they LIKE to take, too

for some reason extended sex seems to be such a turn on

).

Me? I would much rather have a bunch of "short" sessions throughout the day

(15-20 minutes of foreplay, 10 minutes or less of trying to actively get off, either by manual, oral OR anal, for each one). Then again, I'm basically a bunny.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 16

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 12:36:12 PM

Lynnxz

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I don't like it to take overly long either... but my Ex was seriously MAYBE... MAYBE 10 seconds at his best.

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 12:44:34 PM

BKSir

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From: Salt Lake City, UT
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Premature Ejaculation is only a Problem for the Girl Isn't It?

Steel

Good lord NO! I would hate that! If I'm having sex, it feels good, and I want it to last as long as humanly possible!

However, to the O.P. You can try things such as cock rings, and also condoms. They can help him last a bit longer, due to desensitization. Now, that's probably not going to make it go from 2 minutes to an hour and 2 minutes, hell, it might not even totally work, but, it's worth a shot, no? There are desensitizing creams and such out there as well, but the problem with those is, they will rub off inside of you as well, and that may not necessarily be the effect you want.

I used to have this problem as well, not to that short of a degree though. Probably around 5-7 minutes. I was NOT happy about it. I tried the condom thing, and slowly weaned myself off of using them once I was at about the 20 minute mark. I figure, that's an acceptable goal.

Room temperature can also play a big factor in it, at least for me. I'm very sensitive to heat and overheating, so, if the room is warm, couple that with the heat from sex itself, I can literally get to a point where I'm going indefinitely because I'm just too uncomfortably hot to climax. It's great in some ways, but in others, after 40 minutes or so, it can get real fucking annoying, not to mention very uncomfortable for my partners. And that, I don't like either.

Anyway, I'm ranting now, so, uhhhh, yeah... shutting up.

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Post #: 18

RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 12:45:26 PM

popeye1250

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From: New Hampshire
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Oh that's easy.
Tie him down spread eagle to the bed and start paying with him.
Then after you have him worked up real good pull out a butcher knife and put it close to his johnson. Works everytime!
I have the opposite problem, I often make women "sore" because I like to go for a long time.

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RE: Premature Ejactulation - 2/5/2009 12:47:02 PM

aravain

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ouch, that is bad, yeah.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 20

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