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mistoferin -> RE: A Master Who Steals (1/15/2006 5:35:56 AM)
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quote:
I don't care about my timing... I don't care if I don't appear believable... if the cops do nothing... that's their decision... I just want my stuff back.... that's it.
I think that you misunderstood here. I was not trying to imply that you were being dishonest. Having worked for many years in the Domestic Violence field and having worked very closely with law enforcement.....what I was trying to impress upon you is how this may look to people in those fields....AS IT HAS BEEN PORTRAYED. I am the one who always believes someone who comes forth with an account of abuse....and to be honest with you I have taken alot of flack for being so gullible both on these boards and in life. It has always been my philosophy though that to discount someone before there is adequate reason to do so could possibly result in shortchanging someone who is desperately in need. So what I am saying to you is that if your accounting of the events has me puzzled....chances are you are going to get the same type of response from law enforcement, because as I was trying to say, they view everything through the eyes of suspicion to begin with, especially where ex's are concerned.
The whole thing just hit me in an odd way. When you said that you used to post under the name zaynab I went back and read a good deal of your old posts....trying to get a better understanding. To be honest with you though, that just left me even more confused. It seems that there has been ALOT of abuse in your life....so much so that you have related to us that you have DID/MPD, and went on to detail 9 different alter personalities and talked of many more. In reading your posts, it seems that you have given a great deal of thought to the reality that has been your life and have worked very hard to understand. You also seem to have had a good grasp on identifying abuse and abusers...as is evidenced by this post that you made:
quote:
If you are a person in an abusive relationship, take some time to learn about psychopaths. You will be surprised at what you find out. Most people think a psychopath is a person with a big knife getting ready to ax you while you are taking a shower (the movie "psycho", or whatever it was called). Not necessarily.
A psychopath is a person who does not have a conscience (layman's description perhaps).
When reading about psychopaths, know that many of them learn how to mimic a person with a conscience, usually while they are growing up. They notice that people look at them strangely when a dog gets smashed by a car and they are laughing, while everyone else is shocked or crying... so after that, they copy the shock expression and tears, so they will "fit in" with others. Too much info about this to explain it further in a post, but learning about it on the net and in books is very interesting.
If you suspect you are living with a psychopath, please seek help fast (psychologist for yourself) and be as cautious as you can. There are websites out there with great advice on how to escape from a psychopath, if you are living with one.
The safest way to escape from a relationship with a psychopath is to make a careful, detailed plan. It's all about mind games, so concentrate on that when you make your plan. Safety, safety, safety has to be the #1 rule of your escape plan.
Here's a few things I remember from the escape plan I remember:
~ do not let your psychopath be aware that you are planning the escape.
~ try to get money set aside secretly but have a back up story in case the psychopath finds out about the money.
~ make copies of any and all records you need to take with you (legal, medical, financial, etc.) and store them at a safe person's house, hidden as the psychpath may find them there)
~ make several copies of all keys that go to everything, hide one set outside the house and give another set to a safe person to hold for you.
~ get your kids fingerprints recorded somewhere, and take pictures of your kids at least once a month (if you can't escape for a long time) and give the pictures to a safe person to hold, date the backs of them and put your child's full name, SS#, birthdate, etc. also.
~ keep a diary of facts of what is going on, include outside witnesses to events, etc. with their phone numbers by their names when mentioned, etc. DO NOT keep this diary in the same house that you live in.
~ learn about "mind games" and "hooks" and how to stop the games. Best way is just to say "Oh". No matter what is said or asked by the psychopath, just say "oh", "oh?" or "Ohhhh!"
~ If bruised, have a safe person take a photo of the bruise, date the back, put their name on the back with their phone number and hide the photo in a safe place NOT in your house.... probably with the safe person.
~ tell your psychopath you are going to therapy for depression (that would not be lying) and tell your therapist what is going on, facts first always... so there is a record of what is happening.
~ get regular doctor exams and be honest about how you were physically damaged.
*sighhh... there's so much MORE info about how to deal with or escape from a psychopath... tons of it.... psychopaths are not rare... people just think they are.
There's a great messageboard on msn groups for support, forget the addy. Also a lot of good books to read, one of them being "stop walking on eggshells". Good Luck for anyone who is in a situation with a person like this. ~ zay
After I read this I had to ask myself why then would you not have seen the indicators that this current situation was unhealthy? ...and furthermore, why did leaving cause so much confusion for you when it seemed you had an insightful escape plan that you had obviously given much thought to.
I did try to go back and look up your posts under the name of Phoenix that you had given us....but I found that there is a male dominant on this site who has had that name since '03.
Obviously this is a major crisis in your life...and I really do wish you all the best on getting this resolved. I hope that I am wrong and that law enforcement takes you seriously and gives you the assistance that you need. Beyond that, I guess that my only advice is that once this is resolved in the manner that it will ultimately be...you may want to consider doing some more work on you and try to figure out how you missed some pretty obvious red flags initially and also why when the situation become clear why you didn't simply cut and run at that point, with your obvious knowledge and insight into the subject of abuse and abusers.
I wish for you nothing but the best in future relationships and I am sorry that this one was so awful.
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