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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 4:35:05 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

(thought to self:  why all the threads lately addressing "subbies???")



Shoot. Good catch. I didn't notice that, or I wouldn't have replied at all.



Hmm Why?



It's overly familiar and shows lack of politeness and manners.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 5:25:42 AM   
missfrillypants


Posts: 124
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

The caring and compassionate side of a woman is what makes the cold, cruel side of her all the more hot and all the more frightening - the fact that this gentle, delicate little flower of femininity, who loves to cuddle and giggles like a little girl when you do something sweet for her, actually enjoys stringing you up on your tiptoes and whipping you with a belt until you scream for mercy... and then really enjoys saying no, and lighting into you even harder... well, what's hotter than that?


amen, panda! that's absolutely true.

also, as DesFIP said, no matter how dominant a person may be, they're going to have bad days where they just want the sub to help them to relax or comfort them a bit, and it's a good thing that there are a lot of subs who enjoy that role as well, and love giving a mistress a back rub or making her her favorite comfort food or holding her when she's upset, or who love doing things for a woman just for no other reason than that it makes Her happy. and that's not a lot of people's cliche domme fantasy, but it's still something a person can find if they want it.

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 5:55:41 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

(thought to self:  why all the threads lately addressing "subbies???")



Shoot. Good catch. I didn't notice that, or I wouldn't have replied at all.



Hmm Why?


It's overly familiar and shows lack of politeness and manners.
 
the.dark.

 
Oh, I always just thought it was quite affectionate and sweet but I guess not everyone wants affectionate and sweet. I am sure that the OP didnt mean to be impolite though.

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(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 6:13:58 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		I am the type of women who enjoy caring and compassionate, however, i  would walk all over a man with whom those two characteristics become or are weakness in him and can be used to exploit him or manipulate him and i would not want such a Man that it is a weakness instead of an assett.

angel

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(in reply to colouredin)
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 7:00:32 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

(thought to self:  why all the threads lately addressing "subbies???")



Shoot. Good catch. I didn't notice that, or I wouldn't have replied at all.



Hmm Why?



It's overly familiar and shows lack of politeness and manners.
 
the.dark.


Ah, you're too sensitive. Nobody ever complains when people say "dommies".

That was supposed to be a joke, but I really don't think "subbies" should a big deal. A lot of subs use it themselves. I don't see it as overly familiar, impolite, or lacking in manners.

P.S. Can someone tell me why the font is all screwed up? This is the second time it's happened, and I didn't do anything to set it so large. I thought it was probably caused by the quoted post, but I don't see anything there that would have set the font like this, either.

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 2/7/2009 7:04:39 AM >

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 7:02:17 AM   
michelleryder


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		I think that if a Dominant didn't honestly care then they'd be a potentially dangerous person to be in a bdsm relationship with.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 7:05:56 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittykat4play

i like a Dominant who is both caring and compassionate with a evil sadistic side. 

For me, i need to know i am cared for.  i want those caresses and cuddles after a good beating.


Add me into this camp. We've been very lucky in all of our play partners are very big on cuddles and carressing after a heavy session - makes a huge, huge difference.

I think someone who would want the 100% hardcore bastard dom/me may be living more in the fantasy of the idea than in the reality.....


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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 7:11:10 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I am the type of women who enjoy caring and compassionate, however, i  would walk all over a man with whom those two characteristics become or are weakness in him and can be used to exploit him or manipulate him and i would not want such a Man that it is a weakness instead of an assett.


This sums up what I want rather nicely. 

I remember the first time I was rather emotionally frazzled and letting my emotions get the better of me.  He was caring and compassionate, trying to get me to logically work through the garbage and then he had enough.  He brought out what I later learned to call 'the hammer'.  He beat me over the head (figuratively) told me to get my ass in gear, quit the pity party and stop the fucking shit.

Caring and compassionate only work up to a point.  If he allowed himself to be manipulated because of this trait, then I would not perceive him as dominant.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 7:39:44 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		The.darkness' font always screws it up, its evil (but its ok cos we love her)

You have to reset the font when you write

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to hardbodysub)
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 7:52:15 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

That was supposed to be a joke, but I really don't think "subbies" should a big deal. A lot of subs use it themselves. I don't see it as overly familiar, impolite, or lacking in manners.



Except it's not up to someone else to determine what "should" be an issue for someone else. 

It's a term I tend to find belittling and annoying.  Not a huge deal for me, simply an eye-roller and causes me to not take its user very seriously, because the word implies for me that its user does not take a submissive seriously.




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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to hardbodysub)
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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 8:37:25 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
 
Oh, I always just thought it was quite affectionate and sweet but I guess not everyone wants affectionate and sweet. I am sure that the OP didnt mean to be impolite though.


Oh, I'm sure they meant no offense, and will probably be quite surprised to see that some people do find the term offensive. A lot of people never realize that, because unfortunately the term is so commonly used. I don't mind the familiarity of it, as others have mentioned, but I find it condescending.


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In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


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RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 9:23:42 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

The.darkness' font always screws it up, its evil (but its ok cos we love her)

You have to reset the font when you write


I thought of that, but, as I implied in my post, the font appears to have been reset at the end of the quoted post, so I don't quite get what I'm supposed to do. I guess I'll go to the Test forum and monkey around a bit, because there doesn't appear to be any way to view what the "standard/default" font is.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 9:36:29 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Oh, I always just thought it was quite affectionate and sweet but I guess not everyone wants affectionate and sweet. I am sure that the OP didnt mean to be impolite though.


Exactly.  It is affectionate and sweet and therefore, I don't personally want anyone to do it unless they know me.  It's like shortening a persons name without knowing them, or asking if it is acceptable.  Second guessing colouredinone - you know that's my biggie .
I find it impolite.  I would never dream of assuming someone wants to be called by there first name without confirming first.  It's just my personal preference and if people do not like it that means we never connect on any level which is cool for me.  It's the way I feel and thats all really(in answering your question).
 
But you can call me subbie colouredinone because you are yummy and I have affection for you...(although it kicks ass what you call me anyhoo)
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 9:42:30 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
Ah, you're too sensitive. Nobody ever complains when people say "dommies".

That was supposed to be a joke, but I really don't think "subbies" should a big deal. A lot of subs use it themselves. I don't see it as overly familiar, impolite, or lacking in manners.


Pfft... you call that sensitive?  Nah, no where close.  It's just personal preference and it's cool, I simply discount people who use the word so losely from my network.  It's no real biggie.

quote:

P.S. Can someone tell me why the font is all screwed up? This is the second time it's happened, and I didn't do anything to set it so large. I thought it was probably caused by the quoted post, but I don't see anything there that would have set the font like this, either.
 
It's all my fault.  If you quote someone with a different font or colour, you simply have to adjust it before you post.  Font 3 usually works and TNR font.  THose are the standard settings.
 
the.dark.



_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 10:31:34 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda
I don't mind the familiarity of it, as others have mentioned, but I find it condescending.


That's the word I wasn't coming up with - condescending.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 10:58:24 AM   
Serenelysmiles


Posts: 46
Joined: 11/7/2008
Status: offline 		  I don't think that being Dominant, and being compassionate and caring are mutually exclusive.  A Master/Mistress should be Somebody that goes through life with confidence, but is able to temper the Dominant side of themselves with care and compassion.  I, certainly, would not want somebody that didn't care about me using a crop on me, or any other instrument of torture for that matter.

_____________________________

Peace, love and light.

Namaste',

serene

"Though art to me a delicious torment." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

"Wit is well-bred insolence."~Aristotle~

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 2:55:22 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
It's overly familiar and shows lack of politeness and manners.
 
the.dark.


It's also, almost, a "cultural" thing; when I chatted on mIRC years ago in bdsmuk it was in a friendly, lively online community with a highly developed sense of fun. The enjoyable submissives were chaps like you and coloured - minds of their own and opinions of their own and a delicious online cheekiness. Such posters were referred to as "bratty subbies" and the nomenclature was a mark of affection and respect. Conversely, to refer to someone as a submissive was to introduce a subtle hint of insult through formality!

I used the word here in my first post (first and only time!) and I was flamed ruthlessly when I was simply intending to be smiling and friendly.

Now I don't use the word; when in Rome ... 



I shall, however, treasure it for use in private with you, dastardly dark, now I know it has connotations for you!

<wanders off practising in different tones of voice "Go to the naughty corner you subbie person you!">

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 2:59:22 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

P.S. Can someone tell me why the font is all screwed up? This is the second time it's happened, and I didn't do anything to set it so large. I thought it was probably caused by the quoted post, but I don't see anything there that would have set the font like this, either.


It's caused by mental potency hardbody. Both Darcy and the.dark have awesome minds (read their posts - you'll quickly see what I mean). They're each CM's equivalent of Stephen Fry and ordinary font can't handle the intellectual power that's being broadcast.





(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 3:10:28 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittykat4play

i like a Dominant who is both caring and compassionate with a evil sadistic side. 

For me, i need to know i am cared for.  i want those caresses and cuddles after a good beating.


This is pretty much how I feel :)

And this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: alianora

You would have to first explain to me what exactly you mean by caring.

I have no wish to be pampered, spoiled, taken care of, petted...etc, etc.

I also have no wish to live with a man who never smiles, is always cranky, rude, belligerent, nasty (in a mean sort of way )...etc, etc.




(in reply to kittykat4play)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you like a dom who is caring/compassionate? - 2/7/2009 6:22:24 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

(thought to self:  why all the threads lately addressing "subbies???")



Shoot. Good catch. I didn't notice that, or I wouldn't have replied at all.



Hmm Why?



It's overly familiar and shows lack of politeness and manners.
 
the.dark.

 
Agreed. It reeks of patronizing in tone as well, to me anyway. 

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 40
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