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TranceTara -> RE: How to get a feeling across to a pro-Domme (2/17/2009 2:05:22 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
maybe i should rephrase some Dommes are interested in nothing but money, other Dommes are Dommes of integrity. Most Dommes are respectable professionals
kevin
I think that about sums it up Kevin. They are all individuals so one cannot lump all Professional Dominatrixes together.
I know I owe a debt of gratitude to the Professional Dommes I saw. I had been out of the scene for 12 years and although I still had my submissive/masochistic feelings, I still had a difficult time trusting and felt re-entering via Professional Dommes would be safest for me. I had researched my first Pro Domme and we had phone contact before my visit, then she sat with me to go over where I was at emotionally that day as well as my desires and limits. All of the Professional Dommes I visited did that. Two even used a form in which you'd put a check in the box for Love it, Like it, Hate it, for the activities. I'd fill it out before each session. Yes, they were there to give me what I wanted, I was paying, but they could have fun too by choosing mutual interests. It was win/win. [:D]
You can ask for what you want OP. I would be very clear on what I wanted out of a session. One session I wanted a purging. I needed to cry for I had been trying to be very strong when my mom died. So, the session built up and finally, I cried like a baby and she held my head in her lap. It was so healing.
I saw 5 Professional Dommes over a 5 year period. Some let me pay on a sliding scale for I was a woman who made a lot less than their male clients. (I could only afford one or two sessions in a year.) Another let me make payments for a session. I proved I was reliable so she offered that to me. And, might I add, none ever gave sexual favours. It was on the their websites. Also, I never expected it from them.
I had great experiences with all five. Some I vibrated with on a deeper level, and that I can only attribute to chemistry, not the individual, but all were extrememly professional, caring, honourable and loaded with integrity. Just ask for what you need. And yes, I was totally tongue tied each time I saw them, which is why I loved the sit down sessions before I got into sub space. Although, just being in a couple's presence sent me there immediately. [:)]
As with any profession, there are some that are just in it for the money. Take your pick: medical doctors, lawyers, therapists, psychiatrists, interior decorators, the list could go on. Does that mean you won't find professionals with integrity and who actual care in each of those fields? A most emphatic no. I find most enter a profession because they are drawn to it and wish to make a difference. It's the same with Professional Dommes. I researched many before visiting the ones I chose. If I got the feeling one of the Dommes was in it for the money or just assumed I was her toy, I never even went further than reading her add.
I had one negative experience with a Pro Domme I never saw. We set up the time and I was to call the day of the appointment for the location, which I did. I left a message. A week later I got an email saying she was sorry. She went to a conference instead and thought about the appointment but never called. She offered another appointment. I said no thank you.
I was very lucky with the Professional Dommes I did visit. They all helped me to trust again and I never needed to use my safeword with them, but knowing they would honour it.... PRICELESS!
Blessings,
TT
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