do you obey more when your out

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

do you obey more when your out

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> do you obey more when your out

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 12:39:11 AM

omaha68108

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline

i want to ask some of the sub/slave . do you obey more when your out with your dom /master then you do at home with hem and if so why

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 6:07:37 AM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Obedience is not a more or less thing.......it's an absolute.

Happy Sunday...

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 6:43:35 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: omaha68108

i want to ask some of the sub/slave . do you obey more when your out with your dom /master then you do at home with hem and if so why

Nope, my obedience does not change if we are alone, in a lifestyle setting, in the general public, with family… What does change are the behaviors that I am required to have in these settings. I have different protocols (Casual, Standard and Formal) that I am supposed to following depending on what we are doing. If we are in a lifestyle situation then the protocol is very formal and there are more rules to follow than if we are alone. If we are with family or friends who have no knowledge of our lifestyle then the protocol is very relaxed. However, I always obey his will; the behaviors required just vary depending on the situation I am in. On the surface it may appear that my obedience is less in private, but when you look deeper it is just the required behaviors that have changed and not my obedience.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 7:49:02 AM

leafwood

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/23/2005
Status: offline

i have to agree with kyra. i think behaviors would change if in public vs private but the obedience levels would be the same. i would think that if your Dom/Domme asks you to do something being in public wouldn't mean you can say something like "do it yourself" i just think that depending on the environment you are in your behaviors are allowed to change. like kyra said you might be a lot more relaxed and subtle with your Dom/sub roles if you're in a vanilla setting but not at all if in a lifestyle setting. at least for me that's how it would work ^_^

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 8:50:40 AM

newflowers

Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Obedience is not a more or less thing.......it's an absolute.

yes - what she said.

i do not think of the overall concept of obedience as a behavior. we may make a choice to obey, we may vow/promise to obey and once you've agreed to do so, it is not situational.

newflowers

(in reply to smilezz)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 10:43:36 AM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

since i am SELDOM....ever OUT........
i really can't say much on it.
i am here at the house more than i am anywhere else.
i am not ALLOWED out...
i do not get-to go running around...with Her.
She goes after the groceries for the most part.
She does the errands..for the most part.
i am seldom EVER out of this house or off this property.

but i guess...
i am just as big of an ass away as i am at home..
i have a big backbone that tends to get its fur up a lot..
i dont like being out in public..so i stay away from joe public if i can.
i am a self styled hermit..a recluse.
i like being home..

take care

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 1:07:34 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

do you obey more when your out with your dom /master then you do at home with hem and if so why

What an odd question to ask. Makes me wonder if there is a certain 'outdoor' protocol that I am missing somewhere in all my years. Makes me want to ask......if you only obey in public.....and not in private....why be in the relationship at all?

Seems kind of idiotic and unfulfilling to me.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 2:07:03 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I Rish....it was Misty outside today and you were behaving!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 2:11:42 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I agree with what the others said. The obedienc was my low key in public but it was no less just because it was low key. At home i migh have dropped to my knees to obey him but i was not going to do that in the middle of the supermarket or shopping mall.

littleone

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 2:49:04 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

I would say yes, I obey much better in public than in private. I'm prone to not want to show up the person I'm with, so usually just do as I'm told, even if I don't want to.

Too much of that will probably kill the relationship. From my point of view, it's a pretty good indication that we are poorly matched.

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 3:08:26 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I Rish....it was Misty outside today and you were behaving!

/nods head

yes, for once...yes, I was a good girl today

I must be coming down with something

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to fastlane)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 3:21:59 PM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

i obey whether i am in or out

< Message edited by sweetpettjenny -- 1/15/2006 3:23:43 PM >

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 3:47:04 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

i want to ask some of the sub/slave . do you obey more when your out with your dom /master then you do at home with hem and if so why

I always obey, whether at home or not. What does seem to change is that Himself tends to ask more of me when we're home than when we're out. In any event, he wouldn't tell me to do something if he didn't want it done and what sort of slave would I be if I didn't comply?

Celeste

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 3:54:08 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

The Dom I play with has different expectations for me at a public event (like a munch or play party) than in private. So yes, there is a higher expectation for obedience and thus I obey more in public. Even if this were not his expectation I would do so, as he and his submissive allow me to accompany them and I would not want to be disresepctful or embarass him in any way w/in the community they are active in.

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/15/2006 4:57:36 PM

LokisBrat

Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

i obey whether i am in or out

Same here. I show a certain amount of respect to him regardless of our location at the moment. At home though, disobedience is met with much more swiftly. He isn't prone to grabbing me by the hair and taking me to my knees in the shoe aisle at Wal-Mart.

Brat

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/16/2006 6:02:06 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: omaha68108

i want to ask some of the sub/slave . do you obey more when your out with your dom /master then you do at home with hem and if so why

The reality is that subs try and be better behaved in public so they look better and others will look favorably upon them.

The reality is that subs try and behave better when they are close to their dom versus many many miles away.

That doesn't mean most subs are badly behaved or not submitting at other times. Just how most relationships work.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/16/2006 8:51:12 PM

Tapestry

Posts: 226
Joined: 10/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: omaha68108

i want to ask some of the sub/slave . do you obey more when your out with your dom /master then you do at home with hem and if so why

Well, to be safe, i checked with Master to be sure i was on the right track, and we both agreed that i'm the same at home as i am out, that i obey always, in all things, at all times, in all places. He is not ever going to ask me to do something inappropriate, so there is no worry and no question. Master loves me, and treats me as a cherished part of himself, protecting and caring for me, even as i serve and obey and honor Him with all that i have.

_____________________________

Tapestry

Daddy's Little Girl

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

www.tapestry41.blogspot.com

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/18/2006 5:22:36 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

quote:

I would say yes, I obey much better in public than in private. I'm prone to not want to show up the person I'm with, so usually just do as I'm told, even if I don't want to.

i agree. At home, when given certian type of commands (thati might find humilating or that push me) i might hesitate or reconfirm (a hundred or so times) that yes he really wants me to do that. i might stand there in uncertainity. i at time am at odds with a command and might stand there deciding if i will obey. i might not understand the "why" and will stand there and try and think it out. Or i might be feeling fiesty and just decide to push my luck. i always obey, but somtimes it takes me time to do it.

Though out in public, especially with those vanilla and otherwise that know about our lifestyle i will jump past my hesitancies. i have been pushed in public (but not public with pedestrians but with others we knew that knew us) and my immediate response was "Oh hellllllll NOOOO" And i think i only hesitate a second. i dont hesitate in public.

More so because i do not think others will understand our dynamic and i do not want to make him look bad. i view the hesitancy as a learning process. i am in a learning process. i think he Must (though i'm guessing here) view it as the same. As he LETS me hesitate at home. He lets me push. He lets me reconfirm. i say he "lets" me because if he did not allow it, he would not allow it. There are times when he does not allow it and i know its not allowed and i do not hesitate. He lets me think it through. Other times he wants it Now. LOL its very easy and clear to see when its acceptable and when it isnt acceptable.

As for what the others said about the subtly, i completely agree. Its not appropriate, for D/s in front of the family. Either family. So it is much more low key. When at home, i say "Master may i smoke a cigeratte" with family i will ask him "Do you have a light" if smoking is okay.. he'll say yes.. if not.. he'll say no or something similiar. Other things. i HATE eating. He makes sure i eat well. At dinner with the family. He usually "fills" my plate and if i'm full or done eating, i'll look at him and then the plate. As in saying "can i be done" He'll either nod or say yes or shake his head slightly for a no. Little things. Instead of JUST clearing his plate away from the table, i'll clear everyones plate. One so it doesnt look wierd and two cos i dont mind. Little things that no one notices. That i am sure they would if they constantly watched us. We interact alot on a low key. Usually it is me seeking approval for something or another. Plus alot of his "commands" are (even at home) stated as questions. "Want to come out side?" i dunno, its just follow his lead where ever we are.

With friends (vanilla) the subtly is still there, but its things arent kept under wraps. Its not formal, its usually laid back, but the rules, orders are more apparent. If ppl start drinking, i can ask him openly if i am allowed to have one. If i get too rambunctious, i'll get notifed more openly. "sit down" "kneel"

erm.......... lack of sleep.. i'm sure i make no sense.. but here's hoping i do. :p

(in reply to caitlyn)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/18/2006 6:19:09 PM

arson982

Posts: 69
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline

If I do not show the proper respect like opening the door or closing the door I get a look and know if I am not acting the way i should and it happens again will it could be writing a paper on how I should act. Also I act the same way when I am out or at home

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: do you obey more when your out - 1/19/2006 8:12:00 PM

lokisgodhi

Posts: 69
Status: offline

omaha68108 wrote:

"i want to ask some of the sub/slave . do you obey more when your out with your dom /master then you do at home with hem and if so why"

You can be less obedient in public because there is an audience/witnesses. Conversely, when you're home there is no audience/witnessses and you're at the top's mercy. For example, it's not nearly as fun to take your top's dominant hat and play keep away with it when there's no one there to see you doing it and know how brave and bad you are. Also witnesses present can limit the top's response to your misbehavior. They can't just beat you to death for doing it if there are people around.

You have to limit what you do because, eventually, you have to go home where there are no witnesses. Then the top can inflict penalities can then be as severe as the top wishes. Sometimes in the heat of enjoying your opportunity to be disobedient you can forget this fact. Then you pay for it later.

(in reply to omaha68108)

Profile

Post #: 20