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My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 7:35:36 AM   
nobleslave


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
Hello

With all the great advise i have been given i have updated my profile i am just wondering is it any good please.

Thank you
noble slave
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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 7:41:33 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
proofread, carefully
fix your grammar
use some paragraphs
stop using apostrophes where they are not needed
proofread again, carefully

and do decide once and for all, do you live in Canada, or Ireland?

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 2/7/2009 7:42:30 AM >


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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 7:47:08 AM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
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Punctuation is your friend.  And, yeah, where you live is kinda important.

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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 7:50:19 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
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I like the attention you gave to the part where you described what you can do for a potential Mistress. Proofreading for punctuation is probably a good idea, too.

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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 7:58:08 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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Better.
Punctuation and proofreading are very important.
I'm also very glad to see you removed the word worthless...personally, one of my least favorite words to read in a profile.
 
Good luck

 
 

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(in reply to nobleslave)
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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 8:18:09 AM   
nobleslave


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/11/2005
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Thank you so much for all the advise. I've fixed the mistakes i think i have hopefully. I also hope it doesnt come across bad as my last one did. I would like to thank you all for reading it :)


noble slave

(in reply to CarrieO)
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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 10:08:00 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
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Much better!

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(in reply to nobleslave)
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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 10:41:44 AM   
KataNykanen


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/4/2009
Status: offline
Still lacking some punctuation, at least one apostrophy, whereas there are two apostrophies that should be removed.  

Personally, I wouldn't give much upon a non-experienced slave describing himself as "very obedient". In my opinion this comes out when being at service, not when training alone. Oh, and I, again personally, don't like when people constantly let go of the capital "I", slave or not (I don't like the "Me" persons either).

Asking for help is a nice way to draw attention to you and your profile :)=) .


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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 12:18:15 PM   
Knite064


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline
God knows im the last person to comment on grammar or spelling but does mean=main on your profile?(My mean passion....)
In fairness on the location; my profile for whatever reason kept defaulting back to Canada also and took a few tries to correct.

Wishing you luck in your search and noticing your from Belfast i really have to comment on a ex submissive of mine from belfast that had such a wonderful way of saying Master when she spoke(OK i admit a partial fetish for the female northern irish accent )
Good luck once again in your search for a Mistress and i better get off this board befor im kicked off .

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 12:55:02 PM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
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Do you have a Polish version?

(in reply to nobleslave)
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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/7/2009 1:11:42 PM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
I don't have a problem with imperfect grammar, though the other ladies are probably right, perfecting it will help impress those who care, and many dommes do !  I do know, however, that when I am browsing profiles, I look only at those with pics.  Superficial, I know, but honestly I and a lot of other people are looking for physical attraction as well as chemistry and usefulness.  You'd do well to get a nice vanilla face pic up there in my opinion.
Other than that, I think you make a good impression.  I wish I'd known of you when I lived in that part of the world.
Your location may present some problems.  Are you relocatable ?  Would you consider making yourself relocatable ?  It might up your chances.

< Message edited by Voodali -- 2/7/2009 1:12:57 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 5:06:35 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

Voodali wrote:
Your location may present some problems.  Are you relocatable ?  Would you consider making yourself relocatable ?  It might up your chances.

Why is Belfast a `problem'?  It's nearly twice the size of Reno, for example.

beeble


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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 5:08:29 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
ok your pic screams cuteness--that is a smile that will break down many international Dominant walls. Good Luck in your journey.

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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 5:11:23 AM   
MistressAinCT


Posts: 205
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline
you might want to cap Belfast and its slave/property, not slave/properly.

And as the rest said, punctuation. It's like one really long run on sentence.

I for one, don't like reading War and Peace in a profile.  Just the facts, and then if I'm interested we talk more about hopes, dreams, goals, etc.  you might want to cut it down a little.

Good luck!

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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 5:18:10 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
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I'll take you. Sold!

I like the profile bar the penultimate paragraph, it's just a personal bug-bear of mine, Noble.

The picture of you is very cute, but not cute insofar as to prevent someone like me from wanting to exact my sadistic talents on you.

Knowing Ireland the way I do (very well given a large proportion of my family are Irish and I visit fairly regularly - to Belfast), I can understand Voodali's comment regarding difficulties due to being in Ireland. The culture is still very clannish insofar as everyone knows everyone else and even people you dont know still know all about you! Plus, I have yet to encounter any fellow kinksters there. Perhaps times are a changing there, but I have yet to personally see any evidence of it.

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A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to nobleslave)
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RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 8:19:06 AM   
nobleslave


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
Hello all :D

SurrenderForMe  has fixed all my mistakes on my profile and i would like to thank her so much in here for doing that :). And i would also like to thank every one for taking the time out for reading and replying to me. The help and advise i have been given has been 100% great :)  And to those who have said i am cute thank you so much :)  I to believe it is were i am from i have not yet meet a Mistress from here. And may be it is time for me to relocate to London or some were. That would take a long time tho as to get a new job there and a place to live ect. But it is some thing i am thinking about.   Thank you noble slave

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 3:58:42 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nobleslave

Hello

With all the great advise i have been given i have updated my profile i am just wondering is it any good please.

Thank you
noble slave


Very cute. Can you dance to that music you play?

Akasha


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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 4:52:11 PM   
nobleslave


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: nobleslave

Hello

With all the great advise i have been given i have updated my profile i am just wondering is it any good please.

Thank you
noble slave


Very cute. Can you dance to that music you play?

Akasha



Thank you so much :D. Yeah i dance like a mad man lol

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 5:14:56 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nobleslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: nobleslave

Hello

With all the great advise i have been given i have updated my profile i am just wondering is it any good please.

Thank you
noble slave


Very cute. Can you dance to that music you play?

Akasha



Thank you so much :D. Yeah i dance like a mad man lol


In other threads I have commented about how "male capability" is a HUGE turn on for me, and I think to some degree for many women and femdoms. Capability can come in all forms - it's just really the ability to "do" something, enjoy it, and do it well - and/or just do it with some level of confidence.

When I was single in my 20s it was a well known fact that I absolutely would NOT date or consider a relationship with a man who did not dance, and enjoy dancing.  And have hair long enough to pull.  Fast forward a few years and in reality I did hook up with a guy who does not, will not dance (however, he will play ice hockey, so it was a good compromise) and does not have hair long enough to pull most of the time.  But he has capability in other areas.

Dancing is a way of expression.  In my heaviest "prowling" days, I found most of my "prey" in dance clubs.  Alternative, goth, industrial type clubs that had a darker, semi fetishy vibe, but were mostly just dance clubs.  I'd develop a physical attraction to a man based on the way he danced. It didn't have to be that he danced *well*, just that he had a relationship between his body and music, and would express it. I found that guys who were visually captivating, to me, on a dance floor, almost always made better prey.

Outside of the general ramble here, I guess my point is this - court women who can see you in your element.  Or somehow, show them your element - where you have confidence, style and personality. For me, I like to observe that kind of "capability" then turn around and use, degrade, torture and torment the man - it makes me want to own him on some level.  It makes me feel predatory, and I like that.  So this means - make music mixes for women that convey who you are (personally, not generically), have them go with you to clubs where you do your music-thing, show them how you dance. Even do a little dance for them.  Make them want to peel the onion.

And, you're cute, too.  Don't underestimate the power of cuteness.

Akasha


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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: My new profile is it good - 2/8/2009 5:16:11 PM   
StrictnSaucy


Posts: 363
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline
Have you looked at the southern Irish scene? Theres a great club called Nimhneach you might enjoy. There are also munches ran monthly in different parts of Ireland that you might like to get involved in.

And your profile isnt bad :-)

SnS

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 20
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