CallaFirestormBW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
quote:
Oddly enough, many think the work kinky also means devoid of any morals or standards.
Indeed.
I am inspired by a response PeonforHer made to a thread about marrieds and cheating--he used the quote above--to which My immediate reaction was "here here"--but as I thought about it, I was stopped in My tracks--isn't that what kink is? The bending, the ignoring of morals and standards in areas that suit our preferences?
Are they present? Are they absent, or is it a personal preference to use selective morality. I mean here I am tying the boy to a tree naked to whip him and stick things in his orifices not caring what others think and bashing people who fool around---who has more morals and standards?
Before I can answer this, I have to do a bit of defining:
Morals: 1. The lesson or principle contained in or taught by a fable, a story, or an event.
2. A concisely expressed precept or general truth; a maxim.
3. morals Rules or habits of conduct, especially of sexual conduct, with reference to standards of right and wrong: a person of loose morals; a decline in the public morals.
Standards: model; criterion; norm; average; commodity which backs a monetary system
Morals are a general expression of the habits of conduct of a culture. As such, I've always pretty much lived on the fringes of what I'll call "common culture". However, that does not mean that I exist without morals... and I -certainly- don't exist or maintain my relationships without standards. In fact, I have very -high- standards expected of those that I deal with... the "average" or "norm" that I consider a 'baseline' exceeds that which I've found in the 'common world'.
If one lives outside of the moral code of the 'common world', then one typically creates a moral code and ethical standard of ones own. One of the problems, though, is that those in the 'common world' often don't have the tools (or interest) to figure out how another person's moral code and ethical standard relate to their own -- because their morals were handed to them by an outside entity, and is often also externally enforced, it is hard to imagine a place where someone obtains their moral code internally and -enforces- their own morality from inside. Most people just don't know what to do with that.
Then there is the other issue. There are, in any fringe community, people who make their way in strictly for the fun of 'tweaking the law' and the high of breaking the existing moral code, but whose personal moral code is either absent or finds nothing wrong with doing as much damage to others as possible on the path to getting what they want. Because of the labial nature of their morality, they can masquerade as anything they need to be to get ahead on the fringes... and can damage and twist others who are drawn to the quick rise to power, and then get away clean while those who followed them fall when the loss of morality clashes with the structures of the 'common world'. It is from here that most people get their perceptions of what it "means" to be 'kinky', or 'different', or 'fringe'. Because these 'downfall' situations are so publicized, and TV and magazines exploit these 'bad guy/girl from the fringe' situations, people rarely see the human beings with strong moral codes and high standards, despite their differences from the 'common world', who make up the bulk of the fringe communities.
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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RE: Kink: Presence or absence of morals and standards - 
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