sblady
Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Serenelysmiles I think that, inherently, people need to choose their partners, whether they be Dominant, or submissive based upon whom they are now. One person cannot change another person forcibly. If a Dominant wants to change you completely, and they are changes that you do not want, then that person isn't looking for you. They are looking for some fantasmagorical ideal, and are expecting you to bend yourself to fit into some preconceived mold they have of their perfect submissive, or slave. However, if you have a real desire to change, ie lose weight, quit smoking (Chantix is great, by the way, if you can get past the first two weeks of nausea), and a Dominant sees this as potential, is supportive, and capitalizes on your desire that can be a healthy and desirable change. One of the things that makes me adore my Master completely, He loves me not only for whom I am, but who I have the potential to become. In turn, that makes me work harder to recreate myself in ways that will be pleasing to Him, and that, again in turn, nurtures my own personal growth. This is my opinion, at any rate.   I agree 100%. To the Doms expecting submissives to change from A-Z before getting to know them as a person or allowing them to adjust to a new relationship, their loss. I think of the Doms I've met online and in real life who wanted to change XYZ or tamper with things that were hard limits. As a person who was just exploring her submissive side and D/s relationships, it was a bit overwhelming to be told I'd essentially have to change numerous things, some of which are not possible. For instance, the high heel thing...love em, but having severe nerve damage, would said "Dom" pay my medical expenses and my bills as I'd likely break my neck and lose my job? Nope, didn't think so. There were limits I never thought I'd tamper with, however, my Sir's acceptance of "me" inspired me to do things I'd never done nor considered doing. As Serenelysmiles stated, I worked to change things about myself to please Him and it's been a rewarding experience for both of us.
< Message edited by sblady -- 2/8/2009 2:42:04 PM >
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Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. Dalai Lama
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