I want you, but want to change you

I want you, but want to change you (Full Version)

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frazzle121 -> I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:42:45 PM)
Why do so many say i want to modify you?? Read the profiles, i know that takes time, but if they dont match what you're looking for, move on. Ok im getting cynical in my dotage, but are they looking for a blow up doll they can order attachments too??? Who knows?? This isnt a rant or even a serious question, it just makes me laugh, and you never know, we may get someone with a real reason. I'm not holding my breath.

kiwisub12 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:43:53 PM)
Maybe its like cooking - if you season the soup yourself, it tastes better. [:D]

frazzle121 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:45:48 PM)
In that case they can do as they like. me not cooking is a godsend

angelwithhonor -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:46:59 PM)
...yeah but do blow up dolls say"yes Sir?"...grins. frazzle121 it does get frustrating to say the least. i find it tiresome at times. but one day the One will come along that fits. good luck[:)]

DarkSteven -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:48:17 PM)
Depends what you mean by "change". I have introduced women to spanking, and new sexual practices. I've introduced them to my hobbies, and insisted that they introduce me to theirs. Also different cuisines and dishes. On the other hand, I'm not going to force girl on girl on them, body modifications, etc.

frazzle121 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:52:49 PM)
I wasnt talking the introduce to new experiences. I got a message today from someone who said, hey you are perfect. Sounds good. Then i got the lose weight, quit smoking, and god knows what else. I stopped reading and said we are not compatable.

MyWorldCT -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:58:38 PM)
The funniest part of this thread is that we change every day as a person. One can be perfect for someone on day, then decide that the internal battle is too great and join a monastery. My suggestion to the people who want to change others is, be careful... you may actually change others, but it may not be in a way which pleases you. Compromise (in this case), communicate (in all cases), and keep looking forward.

IronBear -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 5:59:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle121 Why do so many say i want to modify you?? Read the profiles, i know that takes time, but if they dont match what you're looking for, move on. Ok im getting cynical in my dotage, but are they looking for a blow up doll they can order attachments too??? Who knows?? This isnt a rant or even a serious question, it just makes me laugh, and you never know, we may get someone with a real reason. I'm not holding my breath. Generally if I start talking seriously to someone, I require that they read my profile or visit my home sire for Bruin Cottage where everything is laid out including the training they can expect (service slaves in particular) which may even include being taught silver service for formal dinners. I state up front that he or she will be trained along Gorean lines as well as what is required for a Victorian Home.

frazzle121 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:06:09 PM)
Apologies to all, dont know how to direct coments to who made them, so all my replies are general. Thats my main point. If the basics arent there, why proceed. Yes i can do silver service, learnt that years ago. Its the trying to totally change someone. Wouldnt it make more sense to find someone that matched your requirements ansd needed tweaked, not changed.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:07:17 PM)
I absolutely want to modify my play-pets... tattoos, piercings, brandings, decorative cuttings... Yup... lots of modification.

frazzle121 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:09:28 PM)
May i ask why? I'm not being awkward, just curious. What you are doing isnt total changes to way of life, it doesnt alter them as individuals. editted for incompetence at typing

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:15:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle121 May i ask why? I'm not being awkward, just curious. Because that's my fetish -- that's my "thing"... body modification. I get off on turning human bodies into permanent or temporary art... or watching someone else do it. I also get my jollies in getting modified myself. In fact, I'm getting new ink next weekend... and may be taking my daughter for her first self-inked tat (a friend of ours is going to let her get her hands on the equipment to draw her own tat before she leaves for school in 4 weeks... and work on the outlines for mine as well!). Because I'm in a poly house, not all of our servants will be interested in body mod, but the ones that I actually play with are -- at least in temporary piercing or cuttings.

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:24:00 PM)
Master and I discussed this once, and there are things about me that He wants to change. My attitude in particular. I tend to be the "let me do it my way or fuck off" type. Thats one habit he wishes to break. I am ok with that. It means I am becoming more of the woman that he wants me to be with each change, yet I still never forget who I am underneath it all. I hope I made sense.

sparkyRBF -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:27:44 PM)
this looks spring time green to me Do you ever watch the tv show "scrubs"? There is an episode where one girl really likes this guy but she knows she is crazy so how is going to get this guy to accept her and hide the crazy? her friend gives her the advice to dole out the crazy in little bits they can handle. I have wondered before if Master and i had met differently, say on collarme, where all our likes, dislikes, expectations were put out there up front if we would have matched up. We met on a one night stand and slowly introduced our likes, dislikes and expectations and since they weren't thrust on eachother all at once, we could handle the little crazy now and then and realize the good far outweighed the bad. NO ONE is going to be 100% compatible and anyone who thinks themselves or things are not going to change after meeting someone is highly disillusioned. Everyone and everything changes. I am not the same person i was before i met my first husband, i am not the same person i was even when i met Master. you grow, you mature and you change. Sometimes you change for yourself, sometimes you change for the better, and sometimes you change for "the One". Just a side note about the smoking and loosing weight: That would be a beneficial change one should do for their own quality of life. I follow a diet now established by Master to help improve my quality of life. If i eat better, i feel better about myself and if i am pleased with myself i'm much more pleasing to be around. This pleases Master and me. The profiles i get a chuckle at are the subs who want a Dom who is smart, "financially sound", good looking, height/weight proportionate.. but must accept the sub as she is and not try to change her. i just wonder how that works for them.

oceanwynds -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:29:35 PM)
Hi Frazzle It would depend on what they wish to change about me. Any major changes would be discussed prior to entering a relationship. Many submissives/ slaves do look for someone to manage and change their life, from losing weight, quitting smoking etc. so that would be a plus for a lot of submissive/slaves. In my case, Sir changed my self-discipline habits which were very much needed. Now if he said you cant believe in this religion, spend time with your daughter and so on, I would know he would not be happy with my service, because my heart wouldn't never be there for Him. There would be no relationship then. These things need to be address before I choice to serve someone.

Aileen1968 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:30:11 PM)
He's teaching me to be more confident. That's good change.

jennifer819 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:30:19 PM)
For me it depends on what the changes are and how deep the relationship is.Its good to have expectations out in the open at the begining of a potential relationship but real changes in a persons lifestyle and behaviour take a lot time and effort.Things like reasonable weight loss and quiting smoking are leading to a healthier life and i think great goals in a relationship.If i ever cross the line to the D side of a relationship those kind of modifications would be a huge part of my kink.As a submissive one of the things i desire most in a dominant partner is someone who appreciates who i am at the core but wants to build on that foundation together to bring me closer to my full potential.I guess its most simply put your kink may not be my kink.

Andalusite -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:36:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sparkyRBF Just a side note about the smoking and loosing weight: That would be a beneficial change one should do for their own quality of life. I follow a diet now established by Master to help improve my quality of life. I only smoke if I'm on fire, so it is irrelevant to me, but I do agree it would be an improvement for most people. I'm a size 5/6 Petite, my BMI and body fat are in the normal range, and I like my current figure. However, I've had people tell me they wanted me to weigh under 100 lbs. (I would be in the hospital with a feeding tube down my nose and an IV in my arm) or over 170 lbs. (I'm very active, and being sedentary enough to gain anything like that much would drastically interfere with my interests, and I don't think it's physically possible for me to gain that much weight unless I had doctor-ordered steroids or something else that completely messed up my metabolism). I told them I wasn't interested in them no matter how much I weighed, and to find someone who already fit their ideal.

frazzle121 -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:43:25 PM)
Thanks for messages on other side as to how to aim replies. my brain still hasnt got round that, trying. I would love to lose weight, quit smoking, and if He could help me all well and good. Its He read my profile, liked what he saw and contacted me. Then says well, i want to totally change you. As i said to start it doesnt upset me, I'm just confused as to why. You either like me or you dont.

Lockit -> RE: I want you, but want to change you (2/7/2009 6:48:58 PM)
How do you plan on changing someone you don't yet know? For someone to figure there is going to be something that must be changed and I am not talking about service to one, but things about the person, is rather presumpuous and as if they are expecting faults they will have to change. Everyone has faults of some sort, but to assume there will be a need for it so much that one talks about it in a profile suggests to me they are looking for faults and flaws so they can get their ego on... in being the better person. Maybe their picker is bad and they are used to problem issues. Everyone will refine or work on things, but to put such emphasis on it before knowing someone is in my opinion a bit odd. I want an adult with social and personal skills and will deal with any flaws I might have and will work on any my mate might have with them, but I won't go in assuming it is my job to repair them. I think it might be nice to find someone who doesn't need a lot of changes becasue they are not so needy that they cannot do life without help in addressing issues that an adult should be able to address. Encouragement and the like is far different and everyone needs that. Teaching them how I wish to do things another... but I look for a good fit and someone that isn't so flawed that they must have help to do one thing or another.

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