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DavanKael -> RE: Curious what you all think...esp younger folks (2/9/2009 9:21:48 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
I have not been here in a while, a big Aloha to every one I have missed.[:)]
How do you feel about a 40 year old, training a 19 year old in the ways of leather and the lifestyle and to be my houseboy.
If you know me at all you know I am pretty dedicated to bdsm education and out reach for all who are interested.
Anyway one boy wrote and has a sincere interest in his heart, and we met for coffee, he was adorable and very submissive hearted.
We played, it was fun, and now I am puzzling weather I should take this on.
Cons: He lives with his parents, He is so young can he really make good decisions about his sexual and emotional health?
Pros: he is sweet and submissive and searching....
Here is what I am thinking, "god I wish I met someone like me when I was his age, Someone to take me under their wing and steward me in the ways of what was to become the most satisfying part of my life.
Also "He is going to be kinky his whole life that is not going to change, I am not corrupting him, by giving him a channel to put that energy"
But I don't want to be mi-optic in my thinking here, so jump in with your thoughts please.
I have told him that I do not want to be exposed in anyway to his parents and to his friends and I have asked him to start a LJ
Hi, crouchingtigress----
I preved your profile as I've not seen posts from you until recently, thus was hoping to get a 'flavor' of where you're coming from and what you wish as related to your post.
I don't see the age difference as an issue per se. Had I not met, grew to love, and married my ex- at a young age, 40 would have been more along the age demographic I would have found appealing. I married at 18, so when you asked if he can make good decisions about his sexual and emotional health, I just smiled. Depends entirely on the person, not to mention, we can only make the best decisions of which we are capable in any given moment and with the information provided.
Perhaps my biggest concern would, in this instance, be his not understanding that you want him to be a houseboy and not to be intwined in his life (If I am understanding that properly), although you have made clear that you do not wish to interact with his parents and friends. I think that through that, you are attempting to set parameters and express the limits of the relationship but I would think that being more clear about what the lines are and such may be useful.
It also occurs to me that at 19 or 20, I realized that I truly desired D/s in my relationship with my ex-. I can't say how I (Or we or any number of factors) would be different now had that come to pass but I will say that I wouldn't have had years of hungering for that with my spouse had he said he was amenable. The Universe unfolds as it will, however, as we can only control those things within our power. I think you're right that if he's got a proclivity, it's going to always be a part of him, whether he gets to play it out or not. If you're forthright, caring, and conscientious as your profile and the things that you have said suggest and you believe he can understand the limitations that you wish to place on the relationship from a physical as well as emotional context, I say 'go for it' and, of course, best wishes. :>
Davan
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