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Domination and pain - 1/15/2006 6:30:49 PM   
Notanaddict


Posts: 100
Joined: 12/18/2005
From: Sydney
Status: offline 		I have quit a dominating personality, I always have.. but when i first joined this site, i imagined it more appropriate to list myself as a sub, for one reason... I like pain, and not so sure i could give it...

but thru reading forums, reading articles, and talkin to people, i realized I cannot submit my power to anyone..

How did u realize u were a domme?
Did u instantly like givin pain, or was it a process..

I know i could really enjoy flogging someone, have only tried light light stuff... but dunno how i would react when i get to teh pont were it starts hurting..

_____________________________

Killing under the cloak of war is nothing more than murder.

albert einstein
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Domination and pain - 1/15/2006 6:44:02 PM   
wolffeathers


Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline 		Not all dominates like giving pain.

I know a few that like to direct where they will RECIEVE pain.

Dominance does not mean sadism.

Just, most are that way.

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Domination and pain - 1/15/2006 6:53:41 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Notanaddict

I have quit a dominating personality, I always have.. but when i first joined this site, i imagined it more appropriate to list myself as a sub, for one reason... I like pain, and not so sure i could give it...

but thru reading forums, reading articles, and talkin to people, i realized I cannot submit my power to anyone..

How did u realize u were a domme?
Did u instantly like givin pain, or was it a process..

I know i could really enjoy flogging someone, have only tried light light stuff... but dunno how i would react when i get to teh pont were it starts hurting..


Now that you have quit your domming personality, how would you like me to speak to you?


Stop obsessing, and live.


LaMalinche

-------------------------------------------

De minimis non curat praetor.

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Domination and pain - 1/15/2006 7:04:55 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Being Dominant and being a sadist are not same thing. Just as being submissive and being a masochist are not the same thing.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Domination and pain - 1/15/2006 7:15:15 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Dominant/sadist and submissive/masochist are the archetypes, and like all archetypes, they are the most common combinations, but not the only ones. We come in enough flavours to make baskin Robbins green with envy.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Domination and pain - 1/15/2006 7:58:30 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		and your question is????

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Domination and pain - 1/15/2006 10:42:23 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Also just as not all Dominants are sadists nro all sadists Dominant etc.
Not all slaves are submissive, some of the best slaves I know including my own are very dominant in most situations yet choose to serve.

Don't be too quick to label yourself, you wouldn't accept anyone else labeling you quickly, why accept it from yourself?

In Leather

Archer

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Domination and pain - 1/16/2006 2:46:24 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		To me, when you're talking about giving pain, you're coming from an angle of topping another during play rather than controlling in a general sense. Flogging and bondage etc is how I express and enjoy with my girl and you don't need to be a Dom/me to do that - many vanillas play with bondage and spanking as role-play kink, for eg.

I'm a Dominant; physical play is merely a natural extension of my greater relationship control. I gain greater overall satisfaction through being served and obeyed via rules, guidelines and standards of dress and general behaviour of my girl. And when I feel like it, I'll use my ropes and toys on her, too!

Do you just enjoy wielding BDSM toys or do you need and desire to take charge in general? Tops wield, Dom/mes take charge outside of play, too!

Focus.

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Domination and pain - 1/16/2006 5:43:34 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Ditto with the sadist is not the same as dominant and masochist is not the same as submissive advice. Give yourself time to explore before hunkering yourself in.

That being said, you could easily find heavy masochists to play with so you don't have to worry about "hitting that pain wall."

On the other hand, you can work with someone who enjoys giving the service of pain and learn how to link into that submission with them, knowing you might not be providing them yummy endorphin highs, but you are giving them a fulfilling pain scene they will appreciate afterwards. Give it time.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Domination and pain - 1/16/2006 12:27:14 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		"No pain...No gain".....WTF does that mean anyway? Was my football coach a Dom....

No, he was a DomAss.......

to be a Dominant takes a strong mind.....you don't have to dish out pain, unless of course you want to?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Domination and pain - 1/16/2006 1:13:15 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

"No pain...No gain".....WTF does that mean anyway?



"No Pain No Gain" is a movie about a bodybuilder that wants to be respected for his mind.

http://www.no-pain-no-gain.com/story/

To the OP - maybe you're a Switch. I am recruiting today. (Just joking about recruiting) Seriously, come and check out the Ask A Switch board.

LaMalinche

---------------------------------------------------------------

ceterum censeo fastlane esse delendam



(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Domination and pain - 1/16/2006 1:52:11 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Submission was an idea I explored well into my mid twenties before I began to admit my dominant male traits—which were always there—rang truer.

I personally despise switching; it has always confused me and evoked nothing more than the feeling that everything is just a psychotic game. I wanted more than club scene role-play, and always have. The ideals I had (and still have) of a Mistress are essentially an unattainable ideal not made of this world. I embrace dominance as it is more true to my nature. I like to give pain, but I find domination to be more fascinating and worthwhile.

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Domination and pain - 1/16/2006 4:38:32 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		It took me awhile to get to the point where I was comfortable with spanking/flogging/caning/paddling. It wasn't until I had the opportunity to try those things on a sub under the direction of a more experienced Domme/sadist that I began to feel comfortable with it. The reaction of the sub was probably the biggest thing that helped me along. Once I saw that he craved it and really enjoyed it, I was able to relax and become more intense with it. It was certainly a process for me.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Domination and pain - 1/16/2006 5:30:19 PM   
Krasnaya


Posts: 154
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm..I think I know what you mean.

When I think about pain it really comes down to being in control of how I get it. I'm not into "serious" pain myself...but if I get it it's always how and where I want it. So does that make me a top? On the other hand it doesn't do anything for me to dish it out unless the person I'm with really wants it. The whole suffering through something they don't want out of submission to me doesn't scream sexy to me. I just go ahead and say switch because I am a dominant person that is only interested in other people with similar dominant characteristics. On that note I don't need the "then you aren't a true dominant" or any of that. Seriously.



_____________________________

My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share.
~Rita Mae Brown

The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.
~William B. Yeats

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Domination and pain - 1/17/2006 8:42:43 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not trying to be rude, but, how much hands on experience do you have with BDSM, either Domme or sub?

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Domination and pain - 1/20/2006 3:18:28 PM   
VaWolf


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline 		Not all doms are into giving pain.
I use pain, the crop, more often than not to teach my pet and correct her behavior. However, I honestly do not like giving her pain. I see it as a necessary evil.
I much rather see my pet, in pleasure.
There is nothing wrong with pain, some like that and that is fine. No offense to anyone.
Having a dominant personality can be a great thing, if you are willing to except the responsibility of taking care of someone else and guiding them.

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Domination and pain - 1/20/2006 4:38:00 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Some like it Hot, some like it cold....but we all like it.
You must gauge your submisseves desires, and thresholds. Move slowly, but steadily.
It is always a two way street, so don't drive up the one way!

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to VaWolf)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Domination and pain - 1/20/2006 7:37:17 PM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		I think trying to classify yourself limits your minds chance to expand and explore.

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Domination and pain - 1/20/2006 10:20:24 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I have quit a dominating personality, I always have.. but when i first joined this site, i imagined it more appropriate to list myself as a sub, for one reason... I like pain, and not so sure i could give it...


Let's break it down into some short answer catagories.

There are:

Subs : people who are or like being submissive

Doms : people who like or normally dominate

Massochist : Those who like to recive pain

Sadist : Those who like to give pain


To be a Dom does not mean you have to be a sadist. All it means is that you are the one who is in control. A Dom can demand to have pain inflicted upon themself by another person. There are many Sadist out there who are Submissive enough to carry out your orders as you wish.

So it's okay to be a Dominating Massochist. There's nothing wrong with ordering someone to give you pain followed by a massage and breakfast in the morning.

On that note, most Doms who enjoy being massochistic look for those who are a "Switch" After all, you'll be putting a dominant shadow over someone who likes being a little sadistic.

Best of luck to ya. After all, it can feel good when you force someone to give you pain.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Notanaddict)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Domination and pain - 1/22/2006 1:15:09 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		As much as I like experimenting with pain I don’t think a Dom needs to give it to a sub providing they have a different way of expressing the power exchange within there relationship. Sadists gain sexual pleasure or some other form of gratification from inflicting pain and suffering onto another person. The main source of satisfaction for many sadists is exerting a controlling influence over the masochist and also by seeing the indirect pleasure being experienced by them. Many masochists do not gain direct pleasure from the pain they are subjected to though they do gain satisfaction when it is used under the pretext of enforcing authority. Many masochists also like to see that the person who is using them is gaining pleasure from the experience, it is not entirely an attempt to satisfy there own lust for punishment.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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