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RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 5:27:13 AM   
shynagold


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/7/2008
Status: offline 		Hi angel! I love your pictures, I was just browsing around and found your pretty face. I just had to message you!! -- You still single? am ibrahim a black africa and am a single dad have a 4 yrs babe.....whish tu no u more than this ....hope tu here fr u cheers

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 5:38:43 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		no I haven't been single in a long time, but thanks for the compliment. and i think the forums are the wrong place for this sort of contact. 

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to shynagold)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 6:29:09 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
Hopefully, someone will post the "sub will greet Master upon his arrival every evening,  by lying on her back, ankles at her ears, playing "Hail to the Chief" on a kazoo" rule  

WH,
Just because we enjoy your company and you're a welcome guest in our home; I don't know if I like you disclosing beth's greeting protocol ritual for me. That's very personal!

BTW - it took her many years of practice to play the kazoo that way. It used to be a 21 ping pong ball salute, but the dogs kept chasing them around and chewing on them.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 8:54:17 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		<QR>

I'm only going to focus on what I consider the key issue here: Rules and Preferences.

In any D/s world, there must be a distinction between the two, or they are the same. I will offer my operational definition of the two.

A rule is a premise of a social contract. If broken, the contract is in jeopardy.

This means rules (or breaking the rules) are the deal-breakers. I have very few rules, but they are important to me. Some are principle-like, in that they are vague but encompassing, and some are specific.

Two examples: One, Never engage in spinal tapping. Two, Show gratitude to any gift I give you.

Rules are not made to be broken. If these were, Pet would find herself possibly losing her owner... That said, discretion is used to ascertain why the rule was broken before such drastic measures are taken.

I also have preferences. They differ from rules in both importance and possible punishment. I take my grapes in a very specific manner. (cold, picked from the stem, hand checked to remove those gross ripped or mushy one -YECK-, washed in cold water, served (preferably) in a bowl)

If My Pet fails to bring grapes like that, she is in no danger of losing me as an owner. Depending on my mood the responsive action can vary from being sent to repeat the task properly to some more sinister repercussions.

In short... preferences are, to me, very low stakes rules.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to shynagold)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 10:09:17 AM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I have lots of slave rules.  I must follow them all or fact Master T's wrath.  If you want to see them, they are on my blog at www.mtslave.wordpress.com .  I have most of my rules along with random crap.

(in reply to DeathAngelVox)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 6:15:30 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

WH,
Just because we enjoy your company and you're a welcome guest in our home; I don't know if I like you disclosing beth's greeting protocol ritual for me. That's very personal!

Oops! Sorry about that, Merc! At least I didn't say what part of her anatomy she plays the kazoo with....
So, I guess I shouldn't talk about that thing with the 2lbs of spaghetti noodles, economy-sized container of butter-flavour Crisco, 3 rolls of wet toilet paper, and your hot tub, right?
quote:

BTW - it took her many years of practice to play the kazoo that way. It used to be a 21 ping pong ball salute, but the dogs kept chasing them around and chewing on them.

If the ping pong balls had any sense, they would have landed in the pool, where the biggest danger is being "barked to death"


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 8:43:17 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		I think most Doms have rules that the slave must follow.  It just makes sense, doesn't it?  We all have lots of rules to follow in the real world anyway, speed limits, age limits, at work, and so on.  Even the IRS has rules (lots of them) the peon taxpayers must follow. 

It's one of the fun parts of this lifestyle, IMO.  I also must point out that these may change with the seasons (nudity may not be appropriate when it's cold in the dungeon), with the growth of the relationship, and so on.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/10/2009 9:06:48 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hi angel! I love your pictures, I was just browsing around and found your pretty face. I just had to message you!! -- You still single? am ibrahim a black africa and am a single dad have a 4 yrs babe.....whish tu no u more than this ....hope tu here fr u cheers

Yep, still single. Feel free to message me on the other side, sweetie.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to shynagold)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/12/2009 9:05:23 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		Only at that time of the month

(in reply to DeathAngelVox)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/12/2009 10:51:43 PM   
TechLord


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/21/2008
Status: offline 		Rules are like guidelines... Every sub needs guidance and hence rules. How extreame and detailed you want to make them are entirely up to you. I tend to keep mine fairly loose and open... It allows more 'flexability' when needed

(in reply to shynagold)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/13/2009 5:54:35 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Rules are made to be broken...
 
Hopefully I am dealing with an adult that is not clueless...
 
The key word in THAT sentance is...hopefully....
 
Make a long list of rules and add a bunch of strife to your relationship...
 
Have fun...

(in reply to DeathAngelVox)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/15/2009 1:24:48 AM   
MagusAndSchala


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/20/2009
Status: offline 		I agree with HeavansKeeper in regards to the rules and preferences approach.  There are absolute, set in stone rules that the kitten must follow or our relationship is over.  If she lies to me or knowingly betrays my trust then she is not fit to serve me (the same that if I betray her trust I am not fit to collar her).  Rules are not established lightly, and they're (for the most part) things that both of us bring with us from outside the relationship.

Preferences on the other hand are far less consequential and thus the punishments are less severe.  For instance if the kitten puts herself down the usual response is simply a quick reminder that doing so will not be tolerated.  Obviously if it keeps up it becomes a larger problem and will be dealt with accordingly but, occurring at random, problems are addressed and we move on.

All I can say is that relationships don't happen overnight.  Solid relationships are built from the ground up, one piece at a time.  Keep your ears and eyes open.

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/15/2009 3:50:01 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeathAngelVox

Do you guys have rules for your subs? I just came into a M/s relationship and aren't quite sure what to make actual rules or preferences.



I have needs and the rules flow from those needs. Assuming you meet a woman with a similar outlook, then the rules shouldn't be too much of a problem for either party. Using a simple example, I need conversation on topics that interest me - I find that stimulating and it represents a good evening for me. Rules? well, no watching rubbish television - spare time should be used to learn about the topics in which I'm interested.

Mindset is far more important than rules with regard to generating the behaviour that you expect.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to DeathAngelVox)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/15/2009 4:55:07 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeathAngelVox

Do you guys have rules for your subs? I just came into a M/s relationship and aren't quite sure what to make actual rules or preferences.


Judging on your comment above, I tend to feel that you are somewhat inexperienced and are thinking M/s is Master/sub. if she is a sub then you are in a Dom/sub but if she is a slave then you are in a true Master/slave dynamic.


I'm not sure if this or your other post (referring to the OP) will be deleted...but I had to respond to this one thanks to this lovely line. DON'T LISTEN TO PEOPLE LIKE THIS! The last thing the world needs is another "one twue way" chest beater. 

 Labels are arbitrary and archaic nonsense. You call your relationship what you want, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.



But i LIKE IronBear's chest thumping!
 
Let me see......IB has been in this lifestyle longer than you have been alive, is a well respected poster and long time member of an active BDSM community. I think that gives him the right to "chest thump" a bit.
 
Read the rest of his post, the part where he advises the OP to figure out what he and his partner want and what it means to them personally.
 
Now.....the label thing....There have been wars fought over "labels" here on the boards.
 
So while i am not ready to fight another one.....
 
He can call his relationship a sex partnership between a bug eared Martian and a Purple People Eater, but that does not mean that is actually what it is.
 
Label do have a use, words do have meanings.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/15/2009 5:56:25 AM   
lilgirl2008


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		It amazes me that someone can claim to be in a M/s relationship when they have not a clue what they are talking about or doing. A scary thought at that too.

(in reply to DeathAngelVox)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/15/2009 1:33:19 PM   
Bstardsbitch


Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		I have one rule...............OBEY....that's it, pretty simple in our life.
We have enough going on without creating rules and regulations, i know what He wants, needs  and desires...(most of the time).
It's not really rocket science lol
cc

(in reply to lilgirl2008)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/15/2009 4:18:54 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		Op,
 
You are only 18 and most likely are exploring the idea of being a Master/Dom.
 
There are several good books to read, find and attend a local munch,
possibly find a mentor and remember that communication is the key
to any relationship.

(in reply to Bstardsbitch)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/15/2009 5:26:37 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		In my last relationship we started with one basic rule - I was never to have sex with another partner without first asking my Master's permission or I would be dismissed. After I was collared I was no longer allowed to ask (though I never even wanted to).  A few more rules were added but our relationship was built more on the spirit of me wanting to be pleasing in all ways than on a predefined list of rules for me to follow.

Some people enjoy a lot of rules, some don't.  If you are the Master than ultimately it is up to you to choose how many you want and how detailed you want them to be.  I would recommend not having so many that it bogs down your partner and she is spending more time thinking about following the letter of the law than the spirit of it.


_____________________________



(in reply to califsue)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/16/2009 6:38:42 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeathAngelVox

Do you guys have rules for your subs? I just came into a M/s relationship and aren't quite sure what to make actual rules or preferences.


Congratulations on capturing yourself a slave.  Sucks that they don't come with an owner's manual, huh?  You're going to find that the answer to your question varies a lot depending on who you ask.  My best advice to you is to seek out those who have owned a slave for a long time and seem to be successful at it, and ask them.  Be a little suspect of advice on slave owning from those who don't own any.

Since she is your slave, I assume she is because you expect her to serve you, and please you.  The most important first step is for you to have a clear vision of what that would look like if you had it.  Would she greet you naked and on her knees at the door with a cold beer and a smile when you come home?  Would she kneel and bow her head to the ground when you entered the room?  Call you "Master"?  Walk a step behind you when you are in public?  Speak only when you speak to her first?  Or would you prefer a lot less protocol and formality, and just expect her to defer to you when some decision was to be made?

Once you decide what would make you happy, then you're stuck with the task of sharing that vision with her.  Remember that she is the slave, and you are the master.  You can establish a set of verbal or written "rules" that she is to follow, or you can tell her that it's up to her to learn your preferences over time, and that once she discovers or is told what pleases you, it is up to her to remember.  In time, my young friend, you will develop your own way about you.  The only measure of whether you are doing it right will be how pleased you are with the slave(s) that you keep, not how well or poorly you measure up against some "official" practice of slave keeping.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 2/16/2009 6:39:50 AM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to DeathAngelVox)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Rules for your Submissive - 2/23/2009 3:06:26 AM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I have one written rule.  The only one I have is....obey me.  If my girl disobeys she is punished, if she doesn't take the punishment she goes.  Instead of written rules, I train my girls in what I want, and expect from them...then I expect them to have the intelligence to use their training.

(in reply to DeathAngelVox)
Profile   Post #: 40
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