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Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 2:52:10 PM   
sweetdomigirl


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have a question for all the submissive people out there. Have you ever question yourselves what is the psychological need for enjoying and craving humiliation and pain?
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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:11:58 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Nope. I like it, so I engage in it. I feel no need to apply some deep psychological "reason" to the need to make myself feel more important. 

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:17:47 PM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		Yup, but I try not to dwell on it. And while I think some part of it is just the way I'm wired, the rest probably comes from some not-so-nice corners of my past. I have no desire to pathologize my sexuality, though--for better or for worse this is the way I am. I think it's far "healthier" to accept myself as is in this regard than to feel ashamed and attempt to change it.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:20:45 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		Pretty much what she said.

I like it.  I do it.  I like doing it.  I do it with people who like it.  We like doing it together with each other.

I see no need to analyse the psychology of it, just like I don't analyse why I am not straight, or why I am poly.  I'm just me.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:27:45 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		For pain, well I like the endorphin rush. and yes i get that rush from all sorts of other things too. I might even be an adrenaline junkie. it gets me hot and bothered.

For humiliation, well i like re-contextualizing social norms especially ones that hold a double standard or are based on belief systems that i don't follow. plus it gets me hot and bothered.

is that enough of a psychological reason based assessment of my sexuality in regards to these two small aspects of me.


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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:38:47 PM   
windycitysub78


Posts: 55
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline 		:)

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:40:48 PM   
sweetdomigirl


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline 		I want to thanks those that took the time and thought of my question. I am not trying to pathologize the sexuality, I just want to get a better insight in mental mechanism that triggers the inner need for humiliation and pain for a better understanding.

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:54:13 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		There are some good books that go into various reasons for why people like X Y or Z and how to give or get those desires met. If you are deeply interested in the various theories in play right now, you can also apply to one of the human sexuality think-tanks and schools for access to their libraries. 

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Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:57:44 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		On the flip side of the coin i am a submissive person.  I hate pain don't enjoy it in th least (unless it is a spanking).  Master and i also don't play with humilation.  So not ALL submisive people crave and enjoy pain and humilation.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 3:58:08 PM   
ladynlord


Posts: 247
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		I have been told that it is that wonderful endorphin rush that it brings on. A natural "high" peppered with a little adrenalin. I admit I don't have much experience on the receiving end...but so long as I can cause it from the giving end...then everybody is happy!

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 4:11:47 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetdomigirl

I have a question for all the submissive people out there. Have you ever question yourselves what is the psychological need for enjoying and craving humiliation and pain?


No more than I wonder what the psychological reason is why, 9 times out of 10, I hate dark chocolate.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 4:25:41 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		A very long time ago I did wonder if there were external causes to my submissive personality. but I gave that up.

I choose to participate in pain and humiliation play because I enjoy it, it feels right for me.

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formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 4:34:00 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		my pet loves pain and humiliation because (believe it or not) relieves his stress.  he has a mid-level mangement position which requires him travel on a moment's notice, meetings most of the day/night, reports, checking job sites, etc. 

edited to add:
as a submissive to Daddy - pain and humiliation HARD LIMIT

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 2/10/2009 4:35:49 PM >

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 5:58:51 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		Humiliation is a hard limit for me and I am not a masochist and do not like or receive pain...I am more of a bondage bunny and a princess sub.

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 6:02:15 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
  I am not into humiliation at all. I get embarrassed by things like being undressed or getting too wet but Master does not do humiliation yet. And if he got any ideas about it ::tried to hide this post:: well I guess we will just have a discussion about what it entails.  Same with pain, I am a wimp, I admit it. Daddy likes breast play but since I am quite little, it hurts alot. I put up with it to get that "good girl" or "that's my good girl" when he is done. Only thing I can imagine why is that ever since I was little, taking care of my family and my alcoholic, PTSD dad, etc etc...I have always been in charge. Finally now, I can totally relax and let someone else take over worrying and caring, and making decisions about me. Only with Daddy can I be that little girl I never really got to be. Thank you Daddy, if you read this...
Love,
Zechriel 


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Sir HighlanderME's little z

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 6:33:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I know people who pour tabasco sauce on damn near everything. But I don't believe there is any psychological need for them to want pain in the sense of taste. And equally I don't think there is any psychological need regarding pain in the sense of touch.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 6:48:25 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		I won't go into analysis paralysis trying to figure out why I like pain so much.  I just do.  I love the andrenaline rush, that giddy weak light-headed feeling, yummy.  However, I am not into any humiliation.  I guess I am just wired that way. 

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Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 9:49:47 PM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		i am a masochist. i like it, need it, and want it. wont do without it.

that pretty much covers all i need it to cover.

lee

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I am so not right, that I left..

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 9:55:24 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		If it feels good, do it.  I personally, havent done anything with the humiliation, but I would give it a go-round to see if I liked it or if I needed to put a big DO NOT WANT stamp on it and file it away.

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The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

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10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 2/10/2009 10:18:04 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetdomigirl

I want to thanks those that took the time and thought of my question. I am not trying to pathologize the sexuality, I just want to get a better insight in mental mechanism that triggers the inner need for humiliation and pain for a better understanding.

Yes, we were past that when the vanilla shrinks told us that desire and most in the kinky world are derived from personality disorders which is a 'diagnosis' that serves no purpose at all. I do believe it can be from an inner desire for a person outside vanilla requirements...to be put in their place as it were. These are ways to do just that.

We may have differing personality 'orders' but given my blending of this and vanilla life...it is not a 'disorder' because of that very blend.

(in reply to sweetdomigirl)
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