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Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 8:19:49 PM   
Domhorse


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		I am some what new to being a Mistress as I have a new sub that wants me to dominate him and test his limits.  So if you could give me ideas on what I can do to him to test his limits or do to him to turn him on but still have total control over him.
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 8:32:40 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Nope.

I got nuthin'.

*giggles*

But seriously, OP: What do YOU want, out of this?? If you don't know, then how are we supposed to help you? 

Or do you just want to cater to his desires? That's fine too, but then he's the dom.



_____________________________

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(in reply to Domhorse)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 8:44:30 PM   
Domhorse


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		I am looking for ideas to control him.  I can spank him or whip him but what things can I do to humilate him or cause pain.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 9:21:47 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		  You need to know and understand how his mind and body works and what specifically will cause him humilation and pain.
 
A great resource for Kinky books is Greenery Press.

http://www.greenerypress.com/

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Domhorse)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 9:39:57 PM   
Domhorse


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		Is there things that I can do at home that are simple this weekend?  I will order a book.

(in reply to Vendaval)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 9:42:25 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Yes. Talk to him.

You can't exactly PUSH his limits if you don't even know what they are.

O.o


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to Domhorse)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 9:48:00 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		In your research, you may find the "ethics" of D/s are boring to read and the various (and ample) possible sex acts are exciting.

You would be remiss in priding yourself in exceeding his limits. If you have time in this relationship, spend a good deal of it discussing what you each like. Even if slaveboy doesn't get what he wants, knowing what he wants is very helpful for reward/punishment behavior control.

How is your communication? Dealing with limit-pressing forces is dangerous when you cannot provide sufficient aftercare.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 9:49:45 PM   
Domhorse


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		He wants me to control his orgasm, humilate him, and give him pain.  Is it ok to make him hold is orgasm as long as he can.  If he cums is it ok to make him eat part of his cum for punishment?

(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/10/2009 11:35:30 PM   
DiamanteDamsel


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline 		It won't hurt him to eat his own emissions, as long as you use a clean spoon and play catch to feed it to him. (Protein's protein, and he's not going to catch anything he doesn't already have.) Talk to him enough to learn how he reacts to simple put-downs—that's one type of verbal humiliation. Calling him names is another; some subs just like to be called sluts or whores or other "dirty language" while others react to actual personal humiliating situations rather than verbal. That kind of play goes better at a party, where you can set him up with a collection of clamps that various tops can remove with their choices of whip or crop…or set up a "wet 'n' messy" scene with stuff like jello and pudding and whipped cream or salad and dressings. Making him clean up after a messy scene could be even more fun. Teasing, orgasm control & denial, those can be fun as well. You could do bouts of sexually arousing activities like spanking but intersperse them with humiliation activities, things that cool that stiffy for a while.

D

(in reply to Domhorse)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 4:00:07 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		BIG FAT TROLL {YEP YEP YEP}

(in reply to DiamanteDamsel)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 4:09:05 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		uh, shouldn't you have thought about this before now?

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Domhorse)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 9:10:07 AM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		In my humble opinion the two of you need to decide what to do.  It is hard enough for two people to come together let alone getting input from everyone here.  There are lots of things you "can" do...cages, whips, step on him, work details, collars, etc.  the list is endless.  You just have to figure out what you are comfortable doing and what he wants and does it make both of you happy.
just my simple thoughts

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 9:19:20 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Talk to him... and only talk to him, no kink.  I bet you will find his limit real quick. lol

You have a very interesting nick name.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 9:44:14 AM   
kinkadventure


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/10/2008
Status: offline 		Something I recommend when my clients have wives who are GGG (good, giving and game) but not really dominant... meaning their wives want to participate and try, but are uncertain:

Spend some time together looking at various websites for dommes.  Max Fisch www.maxfisch.com is a great resource for these.  Look together and see what excited him and is in your comfort zone.    Another thing you can do is have your partner fill out the bondage dot com profile together.   It's free, and you can look at a lot of different possibilities...

Your partner is luck to have you willing to try and make him happy.

Nova

(in reply to Domhorse)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 9:55:57 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Actually.. if YOU don't have any ideas.. perhaps you should rethink this -- we don't know him or you... and frankly, if you can't come up with something... maybe you're not cut out for it...

I'm being a grouch (or complete bitch as usual, depending on your perspective) today.. but I do so hate this question.  Being a dominant isn't easy.. and part of the job entails creativity, but you have to know who you're playing with -- find some, if you don't have it... you probably should bag the whole idea

oh yea.. order a book that will help... 


quote:

ORIGINAL: Domhorse

I am some what new to being a Mistress as I have a new sub that wants me to dominate him and test his limits.  So if you could give me ideas on what I can do to him to test his limits or do to him to turn him on but still have total control over him.


< Message edited by Madame4a -- 2/11/2009 10:31:32 AM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Domhorse)
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RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 10:52:30 AM   
kinkadventure


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/10/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
I do so hate this question.  Being a dominant isn't easy.. and part of the job entails creativity, but you have to know who you're playing with -- find some, if you don't have it... you probably should bag the whole idea

oh yea.. order a book that will help... 


Dear,

It's not a job for everyone. 

Anyone who is willing to share their partners kinks and passions should be applauded, not abused (in a bad way).

Nova


_____________________________

Mistress Nova Caine
http://novacaine.sensualwriter.com

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 11:02:59 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Dear,

I'm sure you're right



although I'm not so sure I abused anyone

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to kinkadventure)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 11:11:31 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Okay so I'm not a Mistress but I felt the need to make a comment anyway sorry if this upsets anyone but I felt a bold pointing out of exactly how bad it is and dangerous before setting you off on humiliating someone or worse beating on someone without knowing what you are doing.

The main issue I have with this is you just want to know what to do you are not asking HOW YOU DO IT. This would Scare the bejesus out of me. I would never expect a submissive or slave or even just a bottom to submit to my doing anything with them that I did not know what I was doing.... Sure there is always a learning curve and that is what relationchips built on trust are all about but if you just run around beating the shit out of people or feeding people thier own waste of hell even tying people up with pantyhose wrong you run the risk of Harming people.

Look everyone has to learn somewhere but if you are going to take the title of Mistress you need to take the responsibility that goes with it and that is the responsibility of the LIFE of the individual that is in front of you if for not other amount but for the time they are in your charge.

Seriously if this guy is serious about you being his Mistress then maybe you need to be honest with him and tell him you know fuck all about how to be one and start a journey together. otherwise one time you might harm him in a way that people don't recover from I mean when you harm the trust of a activity to thinking it will effect them in a negative way every time.

Take some time. At very least buy Screw the Roses Send me the Thorns, it may not be the BEST manual of how to S&M but it has pictures and a sense of Humor that will help you as you read along.

For Gods sakes don't do something that could seriously fuck someone up, if you don't know what to do maybe you should educate yourself on what can be done in the first place and then find where you want to start.

A Forum is NOT the place for that. In the REAL WORLD where the laws of Physics and REALITY apply is.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 11:12:00 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Just as a point of interest, kinkadventure, how long did it take you to realize there were message boards on this site -- let alone post -- after you made your first profile?  Did you make your first post within an hour of signing up?  Requesting explicit control-advice from dominant women for your sub hubby?  Because that's what the OP of this thread has done.  She's quite an industrious lady, and I'm sure she will become an excellent dom with that level of skill at finding her way around strange and new environments.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Seeking Ideas - 2/11/2009 11:34:34 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I still can't get over the nick name...

Okay... new dominant... wants to be called a horse?  Stapon hung like a horse?  Pony play?  Um... gee... really, new and yet is so into things they would call themself a domhorse...like in stallion???  Okay... get past that...

Anyone that knows enough to call themselves something I can see no female calling herself unless she has some real fetish knowledge and such... well... doesn't need our advice on what to do with a submissive!

Just my two cents, for what it's worth... call me bitch... call me jaded... but I am what I am!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 20
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