RE: Being Released (Full Version)

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frazzle121 -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 11:43:01 AM)

Thank you.

I'm sorry you when through a darn sight worse, but from reading your posts have bounced back with avengence.

I'm lucky i have some very good friends, who took the weekend holding me together.
Its not a loss but a learning curve.

I'm the eternal optomist, i know i'm perfect, its just persuading the opposite sex that i am.  lol.

Had an evening wioth a very good friend last night, so i am back to my usual self.

Life is too short to wallow in self pity.



MissMorrigan -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 11:46:46 AM)

If I were at all religious, I'd shout a resounding "Hallelujah" to that, Frazzle.
quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle121
Life is too short to wallow in self pity.



frazzle121 -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 11:50:26 AM)

I think as we get older, we spend less time wallowing.        Who does it hurt, not the person that couldnt see our value, but us.



subdevra -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 11:55:45 AM)

from my experience demanding a face to face for "closure" has only ended in harsh words from him and crying from me and nothing changing.  you have to find your own closure by looking into yourself and really analyze the relationship.  most probably he is a jerk and so be it.  learn from this and apply to your next relationship.  and you know there will be another because as a sub we are not complete without a Master.

at least you got an email, my previous master just dropped off the face of the earth and just wouldn't answer my calls or call me back as much as a begged. i wound up emailing him that i considered myself released as he was not answering.  that email he acknowledged.

good luck
devra
  



feydeplume -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 12:00:43 PM)

Sorry to hear of your loss and congrats on your new found freedom. Most blessings are mixed, but both the good and the bad are worth experiencing. 



CatdeMedici -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 12:11:36 PM)

quote:

I have asked for it, he told me he was too angry and that it would happen when he felt more sure that the meeting would be a good one.


Meaning he will woo you and screw you--dont fall for it.



KatyLied -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 12:16:55 PM)

quote:

f you feel the need to meet him for clousure i think you shoud..


I disagree.  If someone decides he no longer wants your presence in his life, why give him the satisfaction of chasing him around for a meeting or closure?  Why grant him that authority?  I'd say good riddance.  I know how I give in relationships, and if that's not enough and the guy is not man enough to discuss it before breaking up, I don't owe him anything.



RealSub58 -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 12:20:55 PM)

I'd like to make some comments and then give my thoughts
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I was just released from my relationship as a slave.  It was done via email and came as a total shock. 
First of all, my spirit with sincerest empathy is reaching out toward you.  But as you say, the grief process has finally reached peacefulness.  From my experience going backwards is a possibility and you might need to work the grief cycle several times.
You are most lucky to get an email.  Silence, lack of contact was my indication.
 I have asked for a final face to face meeting for a graceful exit to the relationship. 
I tried this, in my first M/s relationship and he refused.  I then took it upon myself to do it and the door was shut in my face.  I only regret the fact that the finances were horrendous. Graceful is how you react, the belief in your own self, and how you walk your journey.  I feel that I need the face to face and chance to ask whether I had been a good slave as a closure.
Obviously you were a good slave, look what you obeyed to do for him.  I did things I morally would have never done.  Yes, regrets and amazing memories.You know in your heart you were the best submissive and slave he had.But this experience does not lessen your submission. I knew that things had been less fulfilling for me and that I was making a lot of excuses in my mind for him. 
I did the same thing.  I came from that experience and KNOW I was strong and self worth was not based on him.
 
I believe that I can find a more healthy relationship even though I loved my Master dearly and have many fond memories of our time together.
You will.  Don't listen to you heart in your next choice.  Use your mind and proceed slowly.

My question is this:  Do you think that a face to face meeting would be helpful?   NO.  He has closed the chapter and book.  Attempting to open the book to rewrite the last chapter is not going to be fulfilling. 

Or is it just best to walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly.    Possibly it was a less than compatible relationship that ended  sadly and with a lack of integrity on his part.




 
'Make what your heart instructs,
and don't let anyone persuade you
to compromise with your own truth.'  
                      --Clive Barker 



SassySarijane -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 12:25:22 PM)

Chamberqueen, I am so sorry this happened to you. If it were me, I wouldn't bother meeting face to face. In my experience it does no good and can cause more hurt and anger, etc. I would simply erase all contact info and him from your life and look ahead.



MissMorrigan -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 12:35:12 PM)

I don't think it's a case of them not seeing our value, but rather they lack a value in themselves. One thing I never did was wallow, life went on, I healed. I will never forgive or forget and it no longer affects my life or my capacity to love, although for a long time I was emotionally unavailable. I created my own closure to enable me to move on, and why do I still want to see this person face to face after so long? The time is incidental, whether it's one week, one month, one year or a decade. It's not to exact vengeance, it's not to scream and shout at him - I am too dignified for that. It's to allow him an opportunity to reconnect emotionally - not for or with me, but for his sake and anyone else he encounters. A lot of people may not understand that, and to be honest, I really don't need them to.
quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle121
I think as we get older, we spend less time wallowing.        Who does it hurt, not the person that couldnt see our value, but us.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 1:32:16 PM)

Sorry about that...

Watch this to cheer yourself up, then send it to him :

Text Message Breakup



AquaticSub -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 1:35:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

My question is this:  Do you think that a face to face meeting would be helpful?  Or is it just best to walk away and consider it a good relationship that ended badly.



It might be... but they are under no obligation to provide it. Just like everyone else, we have to find our own closure.

For me, I know that it wouldn't be. I don't like face-to-face shit. Dump me on the phone so I can hang up on your ass and you don't get to see me cry.



MissMorrigan -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 1:58:24 PM)

Thanks, Merc, and after watching that, pass that whiskey!
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Sorry about that...

Watch this to cheer yourself up, then send it to him :
Text Message Breakup



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 3:37:35 PM)

Yes. And lets not forget that success is the best revenge!



oceanwynds -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 4:13:29 PM)

Hi chamberqueen
I sorry to hear that and how he handle it. Take care of you.

oceanwynds



KatyLied -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 5:37:53 PM)

quote:

Yes. And lets not forget that success is the best revenge!


And being happy! 



cjan -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 6:13:00 PM)

I agree, he seems a coward. You've said that he has lied to you a number of times. Consider yourself lucky that it is over and you're not wasting any more of your time with the dickweed.



DavanKael -> RE: Being Released (2/11/2009 9:40:59 PM)

I think it's a real chicken-sh*t antic to end a relationship of substantial depth and duration in any way other than an honorable face-to-face fashion but there are people who cop out in that fashion all of the time.  One can not make another do the right thing but you can certainly assert your wish. 
Best wishes,
  Davan



MissMorrigan -> RE: Being Released (2/12/2009 1:24:05 AM)

For sure, Lush. Reality and I were discussing 'happiness' some days ago. It's a condition of consciousness derived from the application and encompassment of our own individual values (that's my belief).
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Yes. And lets not forget that success is the best revenge!



favesclava -> RE: Being Released (2/12/2009 5:19:30 AM)

good thing he got out of the way. you wouldnt want to be with that loser when a Real Man comes along. best of luck, hugs .
one day a Man will look at you and laugh out loud thinking of the stupid man who let you slip away. 



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